rate_review Reviews

Yes, i think you should rearrange it when you have a mystery figured out perhaps...I like the character of Annie because Holmes is always paired with Watson and we know that just won't do! ;) The only thing I was confused about here was her "low cut" dress. This is Victorian England when proper ladies had very high collars and long skirts and left everything to the imagination unless they were parlor girls. To give Annie a dress such as this at the first meeting makes her seem either poor, cheap or both. And when she makes him an offer, one can't possibly NOT know what she means when she's thruisting her cleavage at him, lol:) I think she can really work well if you build a good story around her. Give her a little better reason to be with Holmes, to be an apprentice. Maybe just put his housekeeper out of commission so they call for someone to help him around the house while she's laid up. I think his acceptance of her would be more plausible that way. And since she will be around him a lot, she can get to know him and observe him slowly, and there can be a building of sexual tension! What do you think? I hope you do write more of this:)

I enjoyed this chapter very much! But are you going to continue the story, or will this be all?

Good job!

I really like this story. Keep writing.
Holmes is very logical but he's still a man so if a young girl crept into his room and offered i'm sure he'd have no trouble taking her up on the offer. I don't think Annie would hold his attention for long though because she's almost like a groupy with a crush and i think she would be annoying to him after a very short time. You've described her as bright and intelligent but I didn't see much of that in this chapter. So my advise would be keep the sex but develop Annie's character further.
I really hope you carry on with this story though cause there's hardly any Holmes fanfiction on the net and I was starting to think I was the only one who found our pipe smoker sexy. Keep up the good work.

You have your characters of Holmes and Watson down really well. I'm surprised that Holmes would jump into bed so quickly with such a twitter-head. Annie could be better developed to make her more interesting and believable as a partner for Holmes. I like the premis of Holmes having a relationship. Just because he's smart does not mean he has to be a monk. I look forward to seeing what your plot line will be! Where did Annie get her outfit? Is she a maid, wealthy, lost? Where are her things and what kind of family did she come from? Would Holmes be interested in a woman from his own class, the nobility, or the lower classes? Where does Annie fit into his life?

Very, very interesting. My one suggestion is to give the characters background. Why exactly is Annie exceptional, other than her looks and penchant for tramping about in a wet, low-cut dress? That's what seems most out of character for Holmes. In canon, he seems to hold little respect for anyone who isn't sharp as a tack. His sudden movements and exclamations are perfectly in character though.

I'm the author of the other Holmes story here (which unfortunately I seem to have lost ownership of in the upgrade. Soon to be reposted so I can continue). If you want to bounce ideas/interpretations off of each other, I'd be more than happy to to talk. I do AIM and MSN Messenger. If you have either of those, let me know. :D

This is an interesting start and I'd be happy to read more.