rate_review Reviews

Is the stalker after our assassin now? WTF is going on? Waiting for some clarification here. Not to mention more were eye candy.

Okay, this chapter was better but still a little confusing. Mary Jane seemed more like an assassin this time, which is good.

I think I'll put off the fic until you're done with this one. I want to see what happens in this one. ;)

Hi! I think you did a great job for your first time. So far so good. I like how Edward already showed up *wink* he is totally great. I think your new character Mary is very cool thought. She seems so much like Anita and Edward. I wonder is she and Anita will be girlfriends. They can spend friday night having a slaughter party. Killing people and then coming home to paint their nails!! I am weird...sorry about the crazy review. I just wanted to let you know that you are doing a great job and I am totally here to support you. I can't wait for the next chapter! I hope you post it soon. Thanks for the good reading material!

~*Leslie*~

Great for a new writer. Some trouble with grammar and flow, but a proofreader or experience will fix that. I'm a teacher, and while I can fix others work, I can't write on my own. YOU CAN!!!! Plausable set up. We meet Mary Jane (what a name). She seems to be a little trashy for Edward, so it makes me wonder if she's a natural he found, he trained her, or a professional who's gone solo. We have Asher on the rag (over what, we don't know), and someone threatening Anita while Edward is tied up elseware. All good angles that will be interesting to solve over the course of your story. I think knowing why Anita needs coverage will be pretty important to how you get MJ into their lives. What kind of threat is it that Anita can't handle it? I especially like that your story will be about Asher and MJ. I think he's been ignored lately and he has so many angles you could work off of. Thanks for your story! Please keep going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I actually had an idea of doing a story like this and then I saw this. It's interesting so far, but Anita seems a little out of character to me. And Mary Jane doesn't seem very assassing like either. Keep writing, though. :)

I'm loving this character! Please say she and Asher give each other major agro before ending up together? I would love to see this woman rub our favorite blonde vampire up the wrong way *grins*

Hey, great start to a new story! Please continue soon! Love to have the beautiful Asher taken care of properly and this new assasin sounds like fun.