rate_review Reviews

I'm really enjoying your story so far. You're doing a great job with it. I love Hook/Wendy stories. I'll cross my fingers this one will end on a happy note.

Wow!! This is a great story and I absolutely loved it. Please continue and write more. I can not wait to read the 2nd chapter. The 1st one was awesome.

This is good. Lovely imageries, and nice tension. However, your style makes it quite hard to read. Please, it would be so much easier on the eyes if you have a blank space between every paragraph, as well as the dialogue. You also have some rather odd mistakes when it comes to the words you chose. I guess that when you write "steal blue eyes", you do mean "steel", as "steal" means to take something. Or "crime lips", did you mean crimson? It makes me think that you may not have English as your native language? However, these mistakes are something that a beta-reader could easily straighten out for you, and I advice you to try to find one.

Your story is really worth reading, but I had to give up halfway, because the massive blocks of text made my head spin. I think it would be a pity if you lose readers because of this, because your story is really worth reading, and I can say nothing negative about the story itself, only the way it's presented.

Good luck!

i really like this apart from a few spelling mistakes and was just wondering if you were going to continue it?

This is good! Poor Hook! Can't wait to read the next chapter!