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October 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I just discovered this story, and I love it!! This is a rougher Erik, of course Leroux's version, as powerfully seductive as he is amoral. PLEASE update soon!!
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October 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
There's a country song that goes, "Who's your daddy?...Who's your man? Who's the one that, you go running to, when your life starts crumbling?" =LOL=
Christine is a BAD, BAD girl. Her ass needs to get spanked...and whipped...more.
Erik, too. :P
Christine is a BAD, BAD girl. Her ass needs to get spanked...and whipped...more.
Erik, too. :P
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October 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This is good! Continue please!
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October 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
HOT!!! And well written, just love it so far. I hope you continue with it. ;-)
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October 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Ooh, can't wait for the next chapter.
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October 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Oh, wow, this is fantastic! Dark Erik is the best because he is, in my opinion, the most realistic. I cannot wait for you to update this, great job!
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September 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I must be honest with you, this truly scares me! But, it draws me .. it's dark and forbidding.. beautifully written and very intriguing! I must know what happens next! My only regret is that I'm not able to express myself as intelligently as the last reveiwer! So, please accept my humble review! Best wishes always, sleepy_angel (^_~)
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September 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I would like to congratulate you on a very promising start to an erotic story.
Although this premise -- Erik faking his death in order to reclaim Christine -- has been used by a considerable array of authors, it remains, at the same time, always fresh, because of the many different twists it allows. Your version is very creative in that respect, for you have managed to create a perfect setting without sacrificing the characters' personalities. Raoul dead, Christine alone in a hotel, Erik on his way to her... as PWP as it comes off at first, you have spun the tale with such convincing details that it all makes perfect sense, in the end.
Your characterisation, as I previously pointed out, is impressive in its own right. Leroux's portrayal of Erik certainly allows for such selfish, possessive, manipulative conduct when it comes to Christine, a fact that you make sure to highlight with lines such as "even had my own obsession not dictated her fate [...]". The only obstacle in that interpretation would be the Phantom's "redemption", as seen through "his living wife's" tears and kisses in the ending of the book, since it'd essentially discard all his previous atrocities. However, your plot device remedies that, by pointing out that the aforementioned incident was but a bluff -- an assertion that is very possible indeed. As for Christine, though I haven't yet seen enough of her to judge, I must say that her unquestioning belief in Erik's death and Raoul's promise is definitely believable. In addition, I agree that she is bound to be reduced to a weak, sobbing mess upon finding out that she has no man to lean upon now, with her Father long-gone, her Angel dead and her fiancé vanished. Her current state works as a lead-up to the planned BDSM, D/S and MaleDom too -- it would not have been a trivial task to picture Leroux's Christine this submissive, under different circumstances. As a thumbs up to your characterisation, I would also like to note this: while it is true that, in Leroux's book, she had stood her ground against Erik in their first meeting face-to-face, that should be attributed largely to her ignorance as to his intentions, his lack of moral boundaries and his capabilities. This more mature, more lucid Christine should also be more cooperative... eventually, at least. ;)
Your writing style seems rather impressive so far. Your wide vocabulary permits a variety of disparate, respectively suitable words, and your flawless spelling brings the best out of them. Your grammar up to now appears remarkable, too, with the possible exception of the somewhat stark, in my eyes, sentence: "It had been simplicity itself to forge his hand and send her the letter convincing her that he had, overcome with fear that he was to be charged with his brother’s murder, fled Paris without her [...]". The flow of your sentences is smooth, and your style stable enough to pass for a genuine glimpse into the Phantom's mind. At that, the last sentence was deliciously unsettling; lovely.
Good luck with your work! I'll be checking back for updates. (And here's hoping you make use of your "M/F, BDSM, D/S, MaleDom, MC, Oral" warnings. ;))
Although this premise -- Erik faking his death in order to reclaim Christine -- has been used by a considerable array of authors, it remains, at the same time, always fresh, because of the many different twists it allows. Your version is very creative in that respect, for you have managed to create a perfect setting without sacrificing the characters' personalities. Raoul dead, Christine alone in a hotel, Erik on his way to her... as PWP as it comes off at first, you have spun the tale with such convincing details that it all makes perfect sense, in the end.
Your characterisation, as I previously pointed out, is impressive in its own right. Leroux's portrayal of Erik certainly allows for such selfish, possessive, manipulative conduct when it comes to Christine, a fact that you make sure to highlight with lines such as "even had my own obsession not dictated her fate [...]". The only obstacle in that interpretation would be the Phantom's "redemption", as seen through "his living wife's" tears and kisses in the ending of the book, since it'd essentially discard all his previous atrocities. However, your plot device remedies that, by pointing out that the aforementioned incident was but a bluff -- an assertion that is very possible indeed. As for Christine, though I haven't yet seen enough of her to judge, I must say that her unquestioning belief in Erik's death and Raoul's promise is definitely believable. In addition, I agree that she is bound to be reduced to a weak, sobbing mess upon finding out that she has no man to lean upon now, with her Father long-gone, her Angel dead and her fiancé vanished. Her current state works as a lead-up to the planned BDSM, D/S and MaleDom too -- it would not have been a trivial task to picture Leroux's Christine this submissive, under different circumstances. As a thumbs up to your characterisation, I would also like to note this: while it is true that, in Leroux's book, she had stood her ground against Erik in their first meeting face-to-face, that should be attributed largely to her ignorance as to his intentions, his lack of moral boundaries and his capabilities. This more mature, more lucid Christine should also be more cooperative... eventually, at least. ;)
Your writing style seems rather impressive so far. Your wide vocabulary permits a variety of disparate, respectively suitable words, and your flawless spelling brings the best out of them. Your grammar up to now appears remarkable, too, with the possible exception of the somewhat stark, in my eyes, sentence: "It had been simplicity itself to forge his hand and send her the letter convincing her that he had, overcome with fear that he was to be charged with his brother’s murder, fled Paris without her [...]". The flow of your sentences is smooth, and your style stable enough to pass for a genuine glimpse into the Phantom's mind. At that, the last sentence was deliciously unsettling; lovely.
Good luck with your work! I'll be checking back for updates. (And here's hoping you make use of your "M/F, BDSM, D/S, MaleDom, MC, Oral" warnings. ;))
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September 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I like it. please add more!
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September 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Please write more! You have my attention, I'm quite intrigued! (^_~)