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January 14, 2014 at 12:00 AM
It's so hard to find anything that pokes fun at the Bible without trying to tear it to shreds.
This was very enjoyable, I could actually see Moses and Aaron having this conversation with God, and every now and then God face-palms.
This was very enjoyable, I could actually see Moses and Aaron having this conversation with God, and every now and then God face-palms.
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January 2, 2010 at 12:00 AM
hi,
absolutely hilarious! religion, in one word, is a big clusterfuck, if taken too seriously! or...seriously at all!
absolutely hilarious! religion, in one word, is a big clusterfuck, if taken too seriously! or...seriously at all!
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January 9, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I love both your biblical stories. (I'm 'religious' only in the sense of having my own made-up sort of 'religion' that's more like a cosmogony; it was spawned by a lifetime of being hassled by people who take the monotheist religions more seriously than I do, which made me want to have something that I could preach BACK at them...among other reasons.)
This one hits me particularly well being that just yesterday, I'd been thumbing through Exodus and Leviticus while sitting in the can. What I was reading that whole long list of 'unclean' animals...what a coincidence that I'd run into this story today!
I couldn't help but wonder why the Lord didn't bother giving Moses a rundown on the PLANTS that were bloody poisonous enough to kill a person or cause severe illness, but instead, spent ages being hung up on ruminants and cud-chewing and cloven hooves.
The whole gist of Leviticus seems to be that Moses was one of the original discoverers of basic hygiene...but he went a bit kooky with it, at times.
It also became clear to me how people may have come to believe in invisible deities and other such things and class them as being as "real" as anything visible. Episodes of hallucination could easily have struck when crossing a desert and starving, thirsting half to death - and there were certainly psychoactive plants around, too, which would have caused them no matter what if they were eaten. And when you have whole tribes of people who WANT very much to be guided by a Supreme Being, you ratchet up the chances that several amongst them might "see" a pillar of fire, say, at the same time.
Then the children of that tribe would have had their elders agreeing they see something, and these children, ever mindful that their parents will want them to agree with what they claim, will say they see it, too, even if they don't. Now what if this goes on for a few generations? Pretty soon, everyone's having the same visions and believing in them enough that they cross over into "consensus reality".
In the end, the best thing for me is to laugh at it all, because I know my own hallucinations have just about as much validity as any of theirs did, only there just isn't any consensus on that. Yet.
This one hits me particularly well being that just yesterday, I'd been thumbing through Exodus and Leviticus while sitting in the can. What I was reading that whole long list of 'unclean' animals...what a coincidence that I'd run into this story today!
I couldn't help but wonder why the Lord didn't bother giving Moses a rundown on the PLANTS that were bloody poisonous enough to kill a person or cause severe illness, but instead, spent ages being hung up on ruminants and cud-chewing and cloven hooves.
The whole gist of Leviticus seems to be that Moses was one of the original discoverers of basic hygiene...but he went a bit kooky with it, at times.
It also became clear to me how people may have come to believe in invisible deities and other such things and class them as being as "real" as anything visible. Episodes of hallucination could easily have struck when crossing a desert and starving, thirsting half to death - and there were certainly psychoactive plants around, too, which would have caused them no matter what if they were eaten. And when you have whole tribes of people who WANT very much to be guided by a Supreme Being, you ratchet up the chances that several amongst them might "see" a pillar of fire, say, at the same time.
Then the children of that tribe would have had their elders agreeing they see something, and these children, ever mindful that their parents will want them to agree with what they claim, will say they see it, too, even if they don't. Now what if this goes on for a few generations? Pretty soon, everyone's having the same visions and believing in them enough that they cross over into "consensus reality".
In the end, the best thing for me is to laugh at it all, because I know my own hallucinations have just about as much validity as any of theirs did, only there just isn't any consensus on that. Yet.
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May 12, 2008 at 12:00 AM
hahahaha, yea verily! i always thought this part of the bible was nit-pick-ish to a level that should qualify as OCD; you did a great job in bringing the humor out. cuz if you cant laugh at religion, you're not really living.
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April 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Loved it! Any hope of updating?
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March 16, 2007 at 12:00 AM
haha. Loved it.
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March 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Awesomeness distilled and mixed with ink to be written upon parchment by your hand.
That's what I would imagine is your secret ingrediant, if it wan't for the fact that you type your stories.
That's what I would imagine is your secret ingrediant, if it wan't for the fact that you type your stories.
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September 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
LOL This was a funny thing to read ... on Sunday! lol It's a good thing I'm not a religious fanatic...
Hell, this story wouldn't be in any danger from getting flamed by me if I was a bible-thumper ....I'd kill myself first .... I've broken too many rules by now!!!
I can't help but wonder about some other scenes like this one ... Is it true that at one point in the bible it tells them to defecate ouside the city walls?
Hell, this story wouldn't be in any danger from getting flamed by me if I was a bible-thumper ....I'd kill myself first .... I've broken too many rules by now!!!
I can't help but wonder about some other scenes like this one ... Is it true that at one point in the bible it tells them to defecate ouside the city walls?
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July 17, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I loved this!
All overly zealous christians should be forced to read this over and over until they come to their senses.
Thank you!
All overly zealous christians should be forced to read this over and over until they come to their senses.
Thank you!
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January 15, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I liked how you portrayed God. Have you perchance met Him? I didn't realize that he was such a serious guy.