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June 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
The ending was hilarious. XD "Do you think Aravis has done this?" lol! Love it.
This was a hot fic. I only wish it had been longer! And more thoughts of both Corin and Shasta.
But I like the descriptions (more detail, please!) and the characterizations are good. :D
This was a hot fic. I only wish it had been longer! And more thoughts of both Corin and Shasta.
But I like the descriptions (more detail, please!) and the characterizations are good. :D
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February 14, 2007 at 12:00 AM
A lot of misspelled words, but I have seen worse. Altogether a not a bad story..I'm going to try to rate your story w/ a three for good effort (I guess.
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January 12, 2006 at 12:00 AM
The idea was good, but you really need to get someone (preferably someone with a thorough knowledge of the mechanics of English) to beta and correct this for you. The writing is full of grammatical and spelling mistakes and the dialogue is flat and lifeless. The descriptions are fairly dull and give no real idea of background, place or time. It's a start, but your work needs some serious work.
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December 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
THAT WAS BLOODY BRILLIANT!