rate_review Reviews

hehe... cute. can't wait to see if there is more!
*Bites'n'Nibbles*

I really like this story! I hope you update soon!

Hi my name is Morianna, but you may cll me Mori. I would just like to tell you a few things. I don't know if i have ever sent you a review but i am now. I don't like the way you wrote Saetan, Lucivar, or aemon but i do like the wa you wrtoe Morton. I do think that you should have added him remember what karla may have told him, what she went through, but th things you made his do. It was so cool! It was so him, an i am sure other have tol you this, at least i hop they have, but Morton is not a Warlord Prince. They tell you in Heir, when he bring Karla's letter to Saetan, Saetan calls him Warlord. And i was just wondering what made you make up a sister for Jaenelle? She has one and well i liked what you did i was just wonder why you cam up with another Story, cause you could have written this story with Made up characters but you just added one and changed some stuff. It was a good idea and i just wonder every time i read this what you were thing, like how did you come up with the story line? It was good and i just get touchy when people chane things, not that is matters cause it isn't my story but it was a good idea and i would lik you to fits somethings, and write more of their relationship?
All in all it was a good story and you are a great writter...keep up the good work!!!
Truly,
Morianna Y/S

Okay, first thoughts, not bad. You have a nice writing style which makes this story easy and pleasant to read. However, whether or not you realise it, there are several glaring canon errors. For starters, Morton is dead. First he was demon dead, then he returned to the darkness when Jaenelle used the demon dead in her webs to purge the realms. Secondly, even when Morton was alive, he was a Warlord, not a Warlord Prince. There are a few others, but those really bugged me, along with the sudden appearance of this Ashira person. If you have explanations that you intend to weave into the story later, then by all means ignore me, but your writing shows promise and so I'm hoping you'll accept some constructive criticism. Also, be careful not to make Ashira too Mary-sueish but I am liking the whole big brother/ protective male thing you've got going. Anyway, well done and keep up the good work!
~Loki

more, please. ;)

Wow, this is great! I love how true you show the male stubborness....one of my favorite canon details!

I like this story very much. I read only the first two books form my library and it saddens me that they do not have the third one. But, anyways about your story, it is written wonderfully and I'm hoping you aim to add more soon. Keep up the good work.