rate_review Reviews

Poop on a popsicle stick, I HATE cliff hangers. Although I do LOVE this story.

I wanted to let you know that I am really enjoying this fic. There are some places where the dialogue is a bit odd or stilted, but overall, you are doing a very nice job. I like how you are building up their relationship rather than just writing smut with no plot. It's very refreshing to see someone take the time to write a well-thought-out adult fanfiction.

I absolutely LOVE it! That was a great but very mean cliff-hanger. You should update, like now! Keep up the great work.

Mostly, you just have to keep in mind who theyy are and how they have been acting together thus far. Their conversations are probably always a bit odd. Nothing is really broken up persay. You just have to remember they are riding, they are distracted, very shy and have great amounts of tension between them. It isn't a bad tension but it can make things feel odd when you read it. Put your self in their place.

You are nervous and around a crush that you have had for ..a number of years. I don't know about anyone else but I have had some very odd conversations my self when in a similar case. I think it involved little to nothing and bread. Weird..I know..but I am trying to portray a sense of realness and want to build up that moment between them. Even if it is only a lot of talking for two days. They , in truth would have years and years to make for otherwise.

Bearing this in mind as you read helps. It makes perfect sense to me but I am the writer. It makes sense to others too so..this is really the only advice I can think to give. As for the rest, Thank you all for the reviews. Thank you SO SO much. Lets keep them coming. This story loves to see them.


Thanks again everyone.

Starfyre

how sweet i love it

**nodnodnod** Would have to agree. Well thought out, and actual character development. Need/want more now. Oh, wait. Have it, need to edit it. **meeps** My bad, will get it soon. **poofies to place called 'Real World' for thing called 'work'.**

That is so romantic. I always thought Tumnus had a thing for her in the books. I didn't read many of the Narnia fics here because they suxed. You are a very versitile writer. Okay, Write more!



Butterz!!!!!

Hugz n Kisses!!!!

Oh and also.....


Please Write more!

*SQEEEEEE!!!!!!* OH SO CUTE! OMG!! WOW! What a wonderful chapter! Oh i love you man! lol Yay he finally said it! Oh i am dying to know what will happen next! *SQUEEEE*! lol

please update soon! you rock!!
Youre doing excellent even without a beta so no worries hun! lol

fair writing,

Earwen/Maeg

wonderful story. Keep going!!!

Chapter three was a very sweet chapter. Your Tumnus is very jittery and adorable. Keep it up!