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December 11, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Erik doesn't really beat disobedient women, right? He only said that to scare her?
How about next time, he merely whip her tushy for being such a bad girl?
How about next time, he merely whip her tushy for being such a bad girl?
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December 11, 2006 at 12:00 AM
What do u mean by car? A carriage? A model T Ford? A mercedes? What? Could you please describe it better?
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December 11, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Please mention the names of all the singers whose songs you've used in your stories. Ex~ "How you turned my world you precious thing," by David Bowie, or the Goblin King, in Labyrinth.
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December 11, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I buried my best (friend).
If Erik is a master crime lord, wouldnt he have been used to wackos like Raoul trying to assassinate him? Wouldn't he have carried how own gun? Or thrown a knife, scimitar, whatever? Or, even punjabbed Raoul?
If Erik is a master crime lord, wouldnt he have been used to wackos like Raoul trying to assassinate him? Wouldn't he have carried how own gun? Or thrown a knife, scimitar, whatever? Or, even punjabbed Raoul?
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December 11, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Organize the title of each chapter. Right now, some are 19: 19 One word title. Others are 00000000765436790974337.
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December 11, 2006 at 12:00 AM
but with a sinister back(g)round.
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December 11, 2006 at 12:00 AM
WHAT?! She...with...Ivan?!
I think I'm going to retch.
I think I'm going to retch.
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December 11, 2006 at 12:00 AM
OMG! U picked some hot guys to star in this story? Kewl. Gerard Butler...Richard Gere...Patrick Wilson...
=Faints=
=Faints=
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December 11, 2006 at 12:00 AM
So...was Merik a bad guy at first, then, after loving Christine, he turned good? Or, is he just a trickster/stalker?
His magic tricks were both surprising yet frightening.
The ending left me wondering if there might be a sequel.
Also, did Erik give up being a crime lord? If yes, make that clear in the story.
Your story is good, but it needs to be edited.
His magic tricks were both surprising yet frightening.
The ending left me wondering if there might be a sequel.
Also, did Erik give up being a crime lord? If yes, make that clear in the story.
Your story is good, but it needs to be edited.
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December 11, 2006 at 12:00 AM
How about putting the cast of characters at the beginning of the story? Also, I could be wrong, but I don't think all of the males mentioned were in the story. Ex~ Damascus?