rate_review Reviews

Story line is incredibly confusing and far too much is happening all at once. I understand the urge as a writer to get out all of the plot at once, as quickly as possible, but try going back and beefing it up after. Too much dialogue without enough supporting plot progression and things jump from one place to another. Try to make your characters a little more real; I can't help but see it as the author's aspirations and idealizations of his/her own teenage angst (the annoying kind, not the interesting kind). Keep working at it, go back and review previous chapters.

Please say you're still planning on finishing this one, I love it!

UPDATE!!! it's so good

hey i loved this please update soon i really wann read more!!

I absolutely love this story!!!!!! Please update it!!! You haven't added anything since March!!!!! Don't leave me hanging!!! :(

Keep up the great work!!!


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It is amazing. I can't wait for the rest of it. And that whole, looking at Jasper and saying "I see dead people" was great; was that last line ment to sound funny. Does Bella find out if Edward is cheating? What about Emmett, does he know about Rosalie and Edward? Or are the dead just saying that?

This story has serious promise. There were a few problems with grammar that made the story a bit difficult to understand, but otherwise it's quite intriguing. I can't wait to figure out what's going on with Elena and, also, to see how she adjusts to Forks. I hope you update this soon!
xxRaisden