rate_review Reviews

It’s SO rude of Mr. Scary Edward and Jasper to talk like that in front of Whitaker. He must have gotten the feeling like he was channel-surfing, always missing pieces. MEN… ;)
“Hello? The ‘he’ you’re most likely talking about is right here”. *lol*

Well, at least it’s good for Edward to have a little “coming out” himself. I’m sure the cafeteria was already waiting impatiently for him to inform everyone about his sex life. Hehe. Oh my, I swear I had to laugh very hard a few times while reading it… it was so hilarious, with Whitaker bringing himself in every now and then. ;P

could you make this into a female version. i like this one but a can't really relate to much with a guy.

Yay for chaos and confusion. Lots of angst in this chapter, but done well. I'm curious to see how Whitaker will take the news.

You know, those last few lines about Edward being scary were really scary. I got goosebumps. :) Probably because I love Edward getting scary. Hehe.

Nope, Lynn is NO lady. For all I care, Whitaker can slap her back. Afterwards, we'll just all say we didn't see anything. ;)

Sorry, that's it. I'm too stupid to write any really smart, funny review today. O_o

Love this i hope ur gonna continue soon cuz i wanna know whats gonna happen when he finds out Jasper and his family are Vampires

After reading this and Music, I think that you should work on your romantic development some more. I thought it was a touch hasty in Music, but not bad. Here, I agree with the earlier poster who used the movie as an example. It seemed to me that the two fell in love just because you said so. Your emotional manipulation was much better in Music. I'm not trying to be harsh. Just giving you feedback...sorry if I focus too much on the negative, but I think it helps development more than focusing on the positive. I think it's a good story, and I'll continue to follow it. I'm a bad critic and a worse writer, so my opinion may be meaningless.

“… while I drifted through the house, like a lost soul looking for a resting place” – that was utterly beautiful. :)
And of course, Emmett had to be emmettly silly by the end of chapter 13. *lol*

I loved those last two chapters. They were sweet and very calm. I guess that’s why Jasper is just the perfect character for Whitaker: he’s calm and not as hyper as other Cullen members. ;) I’m a bit scared for Whitaker, though. If they continue this “we approach the smut-scene” action, then who says Jasper won’t accidentally lose his control and bite down on him one day? Not that I’d mind… hehe.

Aha! Finally, we’ve found the culprit for the “I need a name with W”-issue. Bad Alice. No wonder you made her leave Jasper… ;)

As for my almighty input on the female OC (my, my, you want me to come up with a lot of things… don’t you think you’ll overwork my little, feeble brain?? *lol*): mind if we move that to the level of email? That way, I believe we could exchange both our brilliant and completely silly ideas better. It’s up to you, though. No pressure applied here. If you agree, however, you’ll find my email address on my profile (MSN)… feel free to contact me whenever you want! :)

I have to admit, chapter 15 made me shed a few tears. I could relate so well to Whitaker. And it helped how you described the place in the woods and everything... I swear I could hear the birds sing and could smell the grass. ;)

And isn't love the greatest thing in the words, especially when it shows up in a fanfic with Jasper and Whitaker?? I absolutely adored that smut scene. FINALLY! *lol* You did really well on that, hun. :D

"Well, yeah, since we’re v—"... oh, now that was close, hu? ;) I honestly can't wait for Jasper's coming out. I so want to see Whitaker's reaction.

Very interesting story! Looking forward to more.
Thanks for your hard work.

Very nice story so far. About Whitaker's memory though: Will there be more on that? Is his forgetfulness just how he is, or is there something more?