rate_review Reviews

incredible story loved it :)

I like this story, thanks for continuing it. Interested to see where we end up. Thanks

That's so funny, "everybody hates E..." I'm glad Alice is there! Love the shortchapters because they're fast and easy to read and easier for you to write! Thanks

What a funny lie, "I ended up with this!" cool! Thanks

Alice is so gullible!!! Thanks!

Scratch that, THEY'RE ALL GULLIBLE!!! Why would they think that Bella would go & jump in the sack with jacob of all people!!! Dumbo's! Thanks!

Overall, the story is pretty good. It's a bit rushed, as was already pointed out, so I won't go all that much into detail there. There was a few mistakes, especially after Nessie's birth, like how Bella would always refer to the baby as she and her daughter, but later on Edward said that she didn't know that yet, and tells her that she has a baby girl. Also, many parts were just like the books, and sped up too quickly. Really, though, for a first fanfiction this is really good, and I read your second one, so you're surely progressing. <3

Count on Emmett to be hopelessly funny when everything’s deadly serious around him: “Are you trying to take us to Canada?!?!? I didn’t bring my passport! Do we need a passport to go into Canada?” Honestly, who doesn’t wish to have that guy’s worries?? *lol*

The whole „marry me“ issue was really shitty, but also typical on Edward’s behalf. He really seems unable to think outside the box at times. I could easily understand Bella being so mad at him. You describe her inner struggle really well. :)

I loved how Edward first heard the baby’s thoughts. They were just hilarious (“I need to get out. It’s time to get out.“). *lol* Seems to be a very rational baby. ;)

Terrible cliff-hanger, though. ;P

Frankly, I found chapter 16 really awesome. Bella trying to kill Edward... now that's a movie we'd all love to see one day. *lol* Poor, poor Edward... hehe

"If you two don’t stop, I’m going to jump Alice right here” - probably the funniest line Jasper has ever delivered so far.

The last two chapters may have been a tiny bit rushed, but hey, otherwise it was really lovely and a joy to read, so I don't mind. :)

Okay hate to say this but your ending sounded just like the book. It was a little tooooo close. I ended up skipping half the last chapter. Would have been nice if it had been a little more original.