rate_review Reviews

for A second chance

by StupidLambIam

schedule November 13, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Whoops... ;)
schedule November 12, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Hey,

I really like your story and I think it has great potential. However, it's really tiring to read because you put all the text seemingly into one big block. Have you considered formatting it a little - adding a break here and there, separating action sequences and trains of thought, to make it easier to follow?

Really good fiction, though. Keep it up!
schedule November 11, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I just can't wait for this to continue. You've done a good job at grasping what Bella and Jasper were feeling about her disaterious 18th birthday party. Keep going and if you need some help just holler anytime.

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