rate_review Reviews

I hate to sound horrible but you need to have this proof read.
The sentences don't make sense and they are written in what seems like broken english.
I had to stop reading it cause it was giving me a headache to understand it

Please correct your disclaimer

It does not contain one of the two required elements—namely, the part in which you state that no profit is made from your story. It can be worded however you, the author, like, provided that you state clearly in some fashion that you make no money/profit from the story.

Failure to correct the disclaimer will cause your story to be hidden from public view after a week or so, but not deleted; you can still correct your disclaimer, which will then be unhidden again as soon as possible. Continued failure to correct the disclaimer will cause the hidden story to be deleted in time, as will re-uploads of hidden stories.

Below is a link to the Terms of Service in its entirety:

http://www.adultfanfiction.net/tos.php

In addition, the next link is to the FAQ regarding disclaimers:

http://www2.adultfanfiction.net/forum/index.php?showtopic=3560

Please remove this review once your disclaimer is corrected.

hmmm. it seems pretty clear that english is not your first language--so, first of all, kudos to you for writing a story in english! or for TRYING to, at least. i'm sorry to say the story is nearly unreadable. it sounds as if it might have been translated by a web text translator because it makes very little sense. i strongly suggest you solicit the help of a native english speaker to look over your stories before you post them. (i checked out your other stories and these comments apply to all of them.) as they stand, they're not enjoyable to read and you're unlikely to receive positive reviews. having a great story idea doesn't get you very far if no one will read it.

this story is terrible, the english horrible and makes no sense.