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for Too Rough

by VanessaWolfe

person Emma
schedule April 1, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I really thought this story was amazing. You really showed a lot of skill in making it real for us - Bella's apathy, her intense emotional pain, and Jacob's naive ignorance of her inner turmoil, his blindness to her real feelings. Very subtle and heart-wrenching. The only issue I could possibly point out is you wrote "preforming" when it should actually be "performing." Other than that, very well done!
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