The first thing I'm going to suggest is getting rid of the POV markers. They're distracting. I should be able to tell who is speaking in your story by the way you've written it. In this case, it's clear from the very beginning that the person speaking is someone outside the novels of whom we have no prior knowledge. When you switch to Jacob later on, you can accomplish this either using a break of some kind, or making a new chapter. If you're going to switch between multiple characters in the same chapter, a break such as
is generally sufficient indication to your readers. It's less distracting, and keeps me enthralled with your story, especially given that your character transitions are flowing smoothly with your tale. It starts centered on Charlotte, then moves to Jacob, then moves to Seth, as each is introduced into the story to the reader.
You've a few typos in your text:
what I saw or now I survived it.
deer that humane looking.
lived in a hostile for six months
my humane form and slipped by sweatpants
You also have some repetition:
There had been a squeal of brakes and the acrid smell of rubber burning as Jonathon slammed on the brakes.
I always like to suggest betas to help catch these little things. You can peruse the forum here to find those offering their services:
http://www2.adultfanfiction.net/forum/index.php/forum/83-become-a-beta/
I was extremely amused at your description of Bella and Edward's scents - Disgustingly sweet, it hurt my nose. Too funny! The nod to Little Red Riding Hood was also well done.
I'd be very interested if you chose to continue this piece. I think you have a strong beginning and an engaging writing style (my only complaints noted above).
Thank you for sharing and happy writing to you!