Yet Another Day in Wonderland

Yet Another Day in Wonderland

A Fanfiction of Semi-Epic Proportions By the Enigmatic Pancake!



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Below: An aincent relic called a DISCLAIMER that is used to keep lawyers and angry readers at bay.
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Yet Another Day in Wonderland is the work of fiction, in that the author wrote it with the intent of writing something that is wholely imaginary. Any similarities to any person, place, thing, event, or action is purely coincidental.
This story's main protagonist, though fiction, for all intents and purposes is presented as a minor under the age of 18. If you, or someone in your vicinity who may look over your shoulder as you read is sensitive to, or has an issue with a fictional character protrayed as being under the age of 18 engaged in acts normally reserved for those over the age of 18, please do not read this story. By continuing to read this story, you agree not to sue, complain, argue, or take any action against the author, or anyone related to, or in contact with the author, or anyone else for that matter in any shape or form, real or imaginary, excepting any constructive artistic critisism, praise, or requests to continue this story, or create a sequel.
Alice in Wonderland was written by Lewis Carrol. Yet Another Day in Wonderland is a work of satire, and is thus protected under the "fair use" act of the United States and International copyright laws. The author claims no ownership of all non-original characters.
Yet Another Day in Wonderland contains scenes which may be inappropriate for minors under the age of 18. Please check your local laws.
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Whew. Now that that bit of nastiness is over, on with the show I say.
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“Well, I suppose it’s just going to be another boring, tiresome day.” Alice thinks to herself. She’s lying in a field of grass and wildflowers some distance from town. The peaks of houses can be seen just over the hillside against the distant mountains and clear, blue sky. Shade from a nearby tree drapes itself over Alice, and protects her from the midday sun. While lying on her front with her feet dangling about towards the sky, she pensively flips through her favorite picture book, which of course, is filled with fantastic images of an imaginary place called Wonderland.
“I can see your knickers.” A voice calls from nowhere in particular, but at the same time, everywhere at once. Startled, Alice hops up from her lazy position and looks around for the source of the voice, but sees no one.
“Hello. Is anybody there?” She calls out to anyone within earshot, but there is no reply. Alice places her hands on her hips in an irritated manner. “Curious, I’m certain I heard someone say something boorish. No matter I suppose. It’s probably just my imagination getting the better of me again anyway.” She stretches. “I suppose I should return home.”
Just as Alice starts to walk back towards town, the same voice she heard earlier speaks up again.
“Really, are you just going to walk away without saying hello?”
Alice twirls around at the direction of the voice. Two mischievous eyes and a corpulent grin stare at her from a tree branch. The floating face then disappears, only to have a portly grinning cat enigmatically appear in its place before her very eyes.
“Cheshire cat!” Alice exclaims. She runs over to the odd feline elatedly. The cat smiles down at her from the tree branch.
“Hello Alice, we haven’t seen you in a while.” The cat says boisterously.
“Well I haven’t had time for anything.” Alice says. “My studies have just taken up so much time that I haven’t been able to…”
“Oh?” The Cheshire cat interrupts. “And I suppose slothfully reading a picture book is more important than meeting old friends, or new ones for that matter, hmmm?”
Alice yields. “Well, I hardly think that reading a…”
“You really should be more careful you know.” The cat once again interrupts.
“What?” Alice starts.
“Lying there with your legs all helter-skelter. You never know who might be watching. I could see your underoos quite easily.” The cat says quite congenially.
Alice becomes quite offended at this. “You could what?! Why on Earth were you looking in the first place?” She exclaims with her hands balled up into fists.
“Oh, I wasn’t looking on Earth.” The cat grins impishly.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Alice says, looking confused. But before she can get an answer, the cat fades off into nothingness, humming a tune, until it too echoes off into the void.
“Oh that cat.” Alice mutters, lightly stomping a foot. Then, like clockwork, she hears another sound not too far off. Her ear perks slightly to better hear what it is, but it is hardly necessary, because quite suddenly a well dressed rabbit wearing a pocket watch leaps from behind the tree and scurries off towards the woods.
“I’m late! I’m late! No time for light hellos or greetings I’ve got to get back to my meeting! I’m late late late late late!” The rabbit quickly says as it passes by in a flash.
“Oh, Mr. Rabbit wait! What meeting? Oh do wait.” Alice shouts with a wave. Realizing the futility of it all, she moves swiftly to follow. “Oh bother.”





Alice runs as well as she can while wearing a dress and trying to remain decent. The meadow of wildflowers quickly gives way to a cool, damp, dimly lit forest. Dead leaves crunch beneath her feet as she scurries in the direction she thinks the rabbit ran to. Unsure of exactly where she is running to, the trees become more and more dense, and the forest becomes more and more dark, and before she knows it, she really doesn’t know where she is.
“Goodness, have I gotten myself lost?” Alice’s pace slows, and then stops as she timidly surveys her surroundings. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this far into the woods before. I can hardly see any light in any direction.” She tensely bites her fingernails as she looks around for something recognizable. Finally, she sees a white flash disappear behind a rock. “Oh! Mr. Rabbit!” Alice waves in the direction she saw the white flash in. She picks up the pace once again, and just as she is approaching the rock the rabbit ran behind, her foot catches a tree root and she topples, face first, into the mossy ground with a marked “Oof!”
Uninjured, Alice lifts her face from the ground in time to see a tiny door, no more than a foot high, slam shut on a tree. She crawls up to it. “Bother, how will I fit through there?” She says in dismay.
Suddenly, to Alice’s surprise, the door speaks. “The question is not how you will fit through there, but rather what you will fit through there.”
“I beg your pardon?” Alice says, confused.
“You are here, correct? But I assume you would rather be there. Now, realistically, you could be anywhere, or nowhere.” The door continues.
Alice shakes her head. “I don’t understand.”
“Use the perfume.” The door says.
“The perfume?” Alice inquires. Just then, to her astonishment, Alice realizes she is carrying a small glass bottle with a light pink liquid inside of it. A tag hangs from the neck of the bottle that reads “Smell me.”
“Curious.”
She pulls open the cork and brings the bottle up to her nose. A sensational wave of pleasant feelings engulfs her. She breathes in even deeper.
“Well, that’s lovely!” Alice looks up to the door only to find that she has reduced in size considerably. Either that or the door has grown. She runs up to the door.
“Extraordinary! I’m just the right size!” She says, gleefully.
“In you go then.” Says the door as it opens up. Alice hurries inside.





And lo, that be the end of the first couple bits of story. In truth, I already have much more written. In fact, a LOT more has already been written, and I simply chose not to post it yet. Why? Well it's simple. I'm not really sure if I even like it or not. I'm thinking of going back and rewriting a lot of it. In fact, I'm thinking of going back and rewriting ALL of it. Tell me what you think. That will most likely sway my decision one way or the other.