Baser Urges

“What the fuck was that all about?”

I sigh. Do I really need more shit to deal with tonight. Then again, it’s good that Edward doesn’t know everything about me.

“I have metaphysical links to Jean-Claude and Richard. I don’t like using them but I thought it was safer than using the phone. I’m really too tired to go into all of that so, if we’re leaving, can we just go, and if not can I please get some sleep?”

Edward looks as if he’s going to argue and then nods, “We can get a couple of hours of sleep.”

He lies down and pats the space next to him on the bed.

“No funny business, right Edward? Just sleep.”

Smiling as he closes his eyes, “Sure.”

Why don’t I trust him? Too tired to care, I slip my browning under the pillow and try to get some sleep. I wake up a few hours later with arms wrapped around me. At first I snuggle into the embrace until I remember who is lying in bed with me. Fuck. I try to slowly pull away, just in case he’s still asleep. Maybe I can get into the bathroom before he wakes up. A tightening of arms around my waist tells me that I’m not that lucky. What now?

“Let go of me Edward.”

“Make me. I’m not the one who decided to use you as a pillow and a blanket while she slept.”

Shit, please let that not be true.

“Regardless, let go of me, Edward.”

He turns me to face him while keeping me in his arms. “I wasn’t complaining. Just pointing out some facts.”

“Well keep those facts to yourself and let go of me.” I start to struggle against his arms until I hit something hard.

Oh, shit. Tell me that’s not what I think it is. He groans and I freeze. It’s what I think it is. I feel my body start to respond and pray that the ardeur does not wake. Some days I would prefer not having to face my problems head on. All right, most days I’d prefer it. But I do have to so, I guess meeting Edward’s eyes instead of looking straight into his chest is a start. As I raise my gaze to his, I prepare to reiterate myself but never get the chance. As Edwards lips are set upon mine I moan and he deepens the kiss. Wow, the man really can kiss. This is awful. I’m in love with Jean-Claude and Asher and here I am drooling over Edward’s kiss. I’d finally weeded out my love life and now I’m cluttering it back up. Wait, love? I don’t love Edward. I mean, I can’t say I don’t want him, that’s just too big of a lie to say, but love? Fuck. I so don’t need this complication. I can’t love Edward. I can’t. It’s improbable…impossible…and just fucking laughable. I mean, a relationship with him wouldn’t go anywhere. He doesn’t date monsters, he kills them. And, as much as I hate to admit it, I’m more of a monster than some of the monsters I know. Why am I even talking about a relationship with him. It’s not as if he wants one. He has no problem with two people having a good uncomplicated fuck. But then, what was he blathering on about earlier? Protecting me and all? Did he mean more than how it sounded? Am I missing an important detail? Maybe I should stop talking to myself and ask. As I pull myself away from my thoughts, I realize that Edward had stopped kissing me. Damn I hope he hasn’t been talking to me too. I know, when in doubt, bluff.

“What was that about?”

"It’s about time you said something. A guy likes to know a girl is focused on him when he kisses her.”

I flush in embarrassment. How to explain without explaining?

“Sorry, got lost in thought. Let’s go.”

“What were you thinking about?”

I should have known better than to try to avoid answering. Now, how much of an explanation will he accept?

“We need to get on the road. Anywhere but France.” I hold my hand up as he takes a breath to argue. “I’ll answer questions during our trip. Right now we really need to leave.”

“Fine but you already owe me quite a few answers. Don’t think I’ll forget.”

Sighing I extract myself from his arms and walk as calmly as I can into the bathroom. After I emerge, Edward is standing there with my gun and has already packed his duffel bags. I accept the gun.

“Can we stop by my house for my clothes or will we have to buy stuff on the way?”

“Is anyone at your house?”

“No.”

“We can make a quick stop but I go in first.”

“How about we make a quick stop but we go in together?”

Edward smiles. “Figures you’d argue.”

I grin in return, it’s my first real smile since I found Olaf’s note. “Of course.”