Rescue Me

Chapter Seventeen.

She was woken up when the love of her life, currently doubling as her pillow, tried to get out of the bed when the alarm went off on their bedside table. Grumbling in protest she tightened her arms about his waist, using her body weight to pull back down onto the bed once he's switched off the alarm.

"Esme," he said softly in her ear, pushing few of her wayward curls off of her face as he scowled softly down at her. "I have to go to work."

"It's a Saturday," she grumbled, turning her head so that her face was pressed into the smooth muscles of his chest. She knew she was a very lucky woman, a brilliant doctor with body of an Adonis… "You never work on a Saturday."

"Hank's off sick," Carlisle explained softly, pressing a kiss to her forehead, "I'm covering his Saturday shift until he gets better. It was only agreed yesterday."

"Oh…" she mumbled, thinking that her husband was far too nice for his own good. He already spent five long days and some nights at the hospital. Weekends were for family time, weekends were special to Esme…and today was Alice's date. "Have you…have you spoken to Alice yet?" she asked, sitting up in the bed and pulling up the top sheet to cover her nakedness.

"What about?" Carlisle asked as he slipped out of the bed, walking across the room and into their en suite bathroom with nothing on but his skin…

'No Esme! Don't get distracted!' she mentally snapped at herself before climbing out of the bed and walking after him, the sheet gather around her like a toga. "About her and Jasper," she said aloud, leaning against the doorframe as Carlisle stepped into the shower, the steam almost immediately fogging up the glass thanks to the cold air let in by the open window. He always left the window open.

"Esme, we gave all the kids the baby talk years ago," Carlisle's voice held confusion as he reminded her loudly.

"I know but I just think it would be better just to…to remind her to be careful…I mean this is her first ever real relationship, she's never been so serious about a boy before and…and…and I don't want her making the same mistake that I did," she mumbled as loudly as she could force herself to even though that wasn't really very loud at all. As ever when she thought about her past a lump formed in her stomach and she found it a little bit more difficult to breath.

"Esme…" Carlisle said softly, stepping out of the still running shower and facing her. At least now he had the decency to wrap a towel about his waist. This conversation was not one to be naked for. "…You did nothing wrong."

"Yes I did," her voice was choked now by the building tears that always accompanied this memory, "I killed my baby…"

There was only one person in the whole town that knew everything about her past and that was the man who now moved to hold her gently against his wet chest. The day before their marriage she had blurted out what she had done in her past, tired of keeping it a secret and worried that it would make him hate her. It hadn't, if anything it had made him love her more. He hadn't even hated her when the true consequences of her foolish actions had been discovered…

When she had been fifteen years old Esme had believed herself to be very much in love with an older man. Of course like any other infatuated teenager she believed that he loved her back just as much. When she had fallen pregnant she had found out the hard way that things were not as perfect as she had imagined them to be.

He was already married and had three sons. He made it very clear to her that all she had ever been to him was an easy lay. He'd given her enough money to get an abortion and then left. She'd never seen him again. Alone and scared she had gone to the clinic and suffered threw the worst moment of her life. But something had gone wrong with the awful procedure; they'd had to rush her to hospital and the thing that she had dreaded most had happened…

Her parents had been told.

Their anger and disappointment had made her hate herself even more than she had for going threw with it, for killing her baby. Her mother, a very religious woman, had told her that God had been punishing her for her sins when she had almost died from the abortion. Their relationship as a family had never been the same after that.

But something else, something far more important than their family had never been the same after that day…

Her body.

Having that abortion had taken away her ability to have children.

"Esme you were only fifteen, two years younger than Alice," Carlisle said softly, breaking her out of her memories as he kissed her hair with is warm lips, "You were frightened. You were about to become a single mother, a single teenage mother. I remember how single mothers were treated back then, worse than lepers! No one can blame you for what you did."

"They did…I did…I do…" she mumbled, shaking her head.

"Well I don't," Carlisle said firmly. Esme had heard him rant and rave for hours about how wrong abortions were these days, how lightly people took it, taking away a child's chance at living…but about her abortion he had never once said a cross word. Esme couldn't really understand that. "But if it will you make you feel better I will ring Alice once she's up and have a little talk with er about being safe."

"Thank you," Esme whispered, kissing his lips, "Thank you for being…well just for being you. And for not hating me…"

"I could never hate you Esme," he kissed her gently on the lips, "Now go back to bed. I need to finish my shower and head out or I'm going to be late. Relax today, enjoy your time off and I'll see you when I get home."

"Ok," she turned away and he stepped backwards the shower. She stopped and turned back to him. "Carlisle? I love you."

"I love you too," he told her with a smile, "Back to be with you."

She obeyed him with a little giggle but she hadn't been able to drop off to sleep until he'd gone, dressed in his smart work clothes. He'd kissed her goodbye gently and she finally drifted off to sleep again to the sound of the car zooming up the drive, away from the house.

~ * ~ * ~

"So how was your date honey?" Esme asked when Alice walked in from the garage, a goofy smile on her face. She'd been trying not to worry about Alice all day even though she'd overheard lice on the phone to Carlisle in the morning, talking about what Esme had asked him to talk about.

"It was wonderful," Alice giggled, rushing over and hugging her mother, "He is such a gentleman and he held my hand when the movie was scary…or when I pretended the movie was scary and he asked me out! Sort of! We're actually dating now!" Her voice got higher and higher as she went on, practically a squeak at the end.

"Oh Alice, I'm happy for you," Esme said genuinely.

"And we kissed! Oh Esme he is such a wonderful kisser! And so nice! And not at all like any other boys I know! Oh Esme…he's wonderful!" Alice cried happily. Apparently 'wonderful' was Alice's word for the day… "Is Carlisle home?"

"Not yet, honey. Why?" Esme asked as her daughter pulled out of the hug.

"We talked earlier and I wanted to reassure him that Jasper is way too much of a gentleman for anything like he was worried about to happen," Alice said matter-of-factly. "I told him some of what Carlisle had said, I was rambling and he got all flustered and embarrassed…"

"What was it that you and Carlisle talk about honey?" Esme asked, trying to act like she didn't know already, turning back to the dinner she had been preparing when Alice came in.

"Well…" Alice blushed deeply, "Sex."

"Oh," Esme mumbled.

"The having of with Jasper…" Alice mumbled, "And being…safe…and…and well like I said he's really nice and was just as embarrassed as me and I just wanted to reassure Carlisle so…" she trailed off, bright red.

"I'll tell him you want to speak to him when he gets home from the hospital," Esme said softly over her shoulder, somehow managing to hide how reassured she herself was. Her daughter had a much better view of sex than she had with her first 'serious' boyfriend. Alice was a sensible girl and by the sound of it Jasper was just as much of a gentleman as Alice said he was.

"Thanks mum!" Alice cried happily, kissing Esme's cheek before disappearing up to her room. Esme smiled and turned back to the salad she was preparing feeling much, much better.

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A/N This was meant to be a happy, nice chapter for Esme but it turned out to be way different! Hope you liked it anyway. More soon.