Peter Pan and Me

CHAPTER 22: SNOW BUSINESS

I guess I should have made it clear but it was not clear to me. I
retained my memory of most things before coming to Neverland and I also
kept some of my adult sensibilities. Like the elephant. He was there most
of the time ready to spray the Lost Boys with water from his nose at
least once a week. They didn't like to bathe. And while Peter didn't
smell that bad or at all, in fact, he smelled sweeter and sweeter the
longer he went without a bath...the Lost boys smelled. They usually swam
in the Lagoon or the ocean or the river or the...but sometimes they
forgot and didn't. They also forewent soap. So I used the elephant, a
very friendly and clean creature itself and it sprayed them with soapy
water from its nose. It didn't mind soap in his nose either. I tried it
with Peter once and got my ass beat to the ground for that. Didn't do
that again. I always let him know when I am planning my trap for the Lost
Boys and he gets this mischievous look in his eyes and has something else
solo going on when I hose them down using the elephant.

About the Lost Boys: I haven't told you much about them and I feel remiss
in this. Of course Peter knew almost nothing about them. And they
pretended to know even less. They had to do this or he'd box their ears.
Of course Peter knew less than they did about most things. I found out
some from them, but more from rummaging around in their dreams and in
their minds. I also flew to where Peter found them, most of them, the
ones he could remember where they were from or where he said they were
from. I found out little more. I kept it secret from Peter at first but
then told him and got what I didn't expect: he didn't seem to mind or
care. "The Lost Boys are the Lost boys. If they ever want to grow up
they can. I will let them. It's their choice." Of course, I wondered
how they would start a life and he told me that some Lost boys started
growing up in the past and he brought them back home or as near as he
could make out. At least one was killed and I couldn't get the details
about this out of Peter or the others, not that they were here at that
time. There was also a Lost Boy called Rufio who was slain by sword by
Hook. And others were killed by the Indians before the Indians became
Peter's friends, the Indians that later on left here because Hook and his
pirates killed many of them. Anyway I found out some things about the
Lost Boys.

Je'ne: was from Puerto Rico. So was Rico. They might be cousins. And
Je'ne might be part Cuban or Rico might be. Rico was locked in his room
most of the time even as a baby and left alone. He might have tipped
himself out of his bassinet. Je'ne might have done it to keep him
company. Je'ne looked like Kenny Morrison from the NEVER ENDING STORY 2
movie and Rico looked like Angelo Garcia from MENUDO in the 1980s.

Landen: happy go lucky from Oklahoma. Lost in his baby carriage in the
desert. Makes sense to....Peter. There's more of a story here but so far
no leads. He looks like Jonathan Brandis. Peter seemed to rely on Landen
for a lot of things. But I don't think he was second in command.

Who else? Oh yeah, Rollin. He was a male prostitute from the 1970s 42nd
street in New York, so I think he's been here longest of the boys with
maybe the exception of Aoi and also he was a bit older than the others
when Peter found him on the streets and brought him here. He's Italian
and a handful. He's very...different but tough. Probably the toughest of
the Lost Boys. I never spank him but Peter does. And enjoys it. So does
Rollin I think, too much. It's all very innocent on their part but anyone
seeing it would not be happy about it. Oh and he looks a lot like Sly
Stallone's son Sage from ROCKY 5. And he liked being naked the most.

Jennie, he was deaf but when he got to Neverland he could hear but he
still could not talk. He was a saint. Well I don't know. I get the
feeling he was kidnaped by his mother's family somehow. I don't think
they wanted a handicapped child but Jennie's mother did want him. This
was all intuition. He's British. And innocent.

Pare was also Latin but he might have been from either Mexico or Spain.
Not sure which. It was all a bit confusing. Pare was almost as much a
handful as Rollin and he and Rollin did not always get along but when
they did it usually meant trouble. Pare was a bit more innocent than
Rollin but not by much. I think Peter saved Pare from a bull demon that
tried to kill him as a small baby.

Sole. Bright glowing blond Sole was from Denmark, the home of Hans
Christian Anderson. Literally. His large happy family lives there. They
lost Sole off a fishing boat, the family business and thought he was
killed. In the 1989. I think they needed to know so I sent them a letter.
Sole's mother had died five years before the letter. Sole was blond and
muscled and he was second in command. He was also the quietest, nicest
Lost Boy but could be tougher than all the others put together if he had
to be. I sometimes get the feeling that if Sole were unleashed he could
kick Peter's ass or come close to it. But Sole has too much honor to do
that.

Aoi could be Filipino but I'm sure he is from Vietnam. Perhaps he's part
Filipino or maybe his family ended up in Vietnam fleeing the
Phillippines. Either way he is from the 1960s or possibly the early 1900s
and the war seemed to have made him lost to his family. I'm just not sure
which war or which family. He is a hell of a fighter, second only to Sole
and Peter himself.

Oliver...yeah well he's with Wendy and the Darlings in heaven now. He was
French and British mix. And he used to wear glasses but when he adjusted
to Neverland he began to see better. Now he sees even better. Somehow I
don't think Peter's story of the Lost Boys falling out of their
perambulators rang of truth...or at least I don't think Peter knows how
they get here. I mean...I asked him.

"Well when they are small, so small, I don't want any part of diapers and
poop and all that so I let the fairies and troll maids take care of them
until they are boys and then I ask them if they want to continue to grow
up and if they don't want to, they stay. If they do, I bring them back to
the adult world." He looked visibly upset at this last comment so I
didn't push the issues.

I believe of all the lost boys of Wendy's time, Slightly would probably
have stayed with Peter. He was most like Peter, conceited, if not ability
wise, he hadn't Peter's skill at swordfighting, in fact, Slightly almost
never took place in battles, although I do seem to recall one time from
my readings and research that Slightly put himself between Captain Hook
and a decidedly weakened Peter and those rescuing him. You see Slightly
himself put Peter in jeopardy and while I'm not sure what it was,
something about a map of Neverland that if erased would start to cancel
out Neverland. Hook got his hooks on it thanks to Slightly taking it and
trying to change Crocodile Gulch to Slightly Gulch. In the end, Peter,
who returned Neverland all back to normal---proving Peter had more memory
than others give him credit for----except for one area---Peter made Croc
Gulch renamed Slightly Gulch, in honor of Slightly standing up to Hook
bravely.

The next night or so, Peter went missing and that was not unusual, for as
I've said he often had other adventures that didn't include us and we
him. Anyway, I took my care of the lost boys for a few nights and kept
them out of trouble...the mermaids and they were particularly savage of
each other recently. It was during this time that the Lost Boys noticed
that new Indian tribes had moved into the area. We saw their smoke from
their cooking fires. Years ago, many moons ago, the Indians left
Neverland when Hook surprised them in an attack so brutal and evil, that
Tiger Lily and Great Big Little Panther left Neverland for good, Tiger
Lily never came back, that I know of. She too loved Peter but like Wendy
she felt Peter could never love her back the way she loved him. She, too,
was wrong. That tribe, the Piccaninny I believe, were eventually lead by
Great Big Little Panther, who decidedly grew up. His daughter was Tiger
Lily. There was also Hard To Hit, a young Indian boy Peter had been
friends or rather rivals with. And Lean Wolf died in that last battle in
Neverland. The remainder of the warriors guarding Peter's home cut a path
out of the pirates and the tribe packed up and left, never to return.
Among them I wondered if any were an equal to Peter in skill or if he was
friends with Hard to Hit for real or just rivals in pride? Did Peter
have any friends? Real friends? I mean someone who was on his level?
Maybe I was? I don't know. Maybe you can't be on a par with a god. If he
was that. I was confusing myself. I asked the boys to show me where the
Indian camps were and they took me high to a long tiring hill of green
grass and pointed to a valley beneath. Then to my amazement, they pointed
to the other side of the hill where another tribe was. "Two tribes?"

To my amazement, when Peter returned, he was not aware of this nor did he
show any concern or worry or think it was cause for some alarm. You see
the Indians that left were his friends. What Peter forgot was that before
he saved Tiger Lily the Piccaninny tribe were his enemies. They scalped a
number of lost boys and pirates too. Only when Peter saved Tiger Lily at
Marooner's Rock and again at the Black Castle did the Indians become
Peter's, well, one could say worshipers and even servants since they
deigned to guard his underground house. Then again, before that, Peter
would often change sides and in a game of pretend, would say he was an
Injun that day and get all the Lost Boys to declare the same. The
Indians, not to be put out of a fight, declared suddenly that they were
Lost boys. Now to an adult, these games were a bit...shall we say tedious
and suffer myself in Neverland, I did retain some of my adult knowledge
and sensibilities. Sometimes they hindered me but other times they saved
myself, Neverland, and the Lost Boys and though he'd be hard pressed to
admit it, Peter. Peter would admit it but again I would have to hard
press him and I loved nothing more than hard pressing him.

But two new tribes in Neverland were cause for some alarm.

Pan dropped in. And I told him, "Nice of you to drop in." Sarcasm was
not always lost on him. "What's your name again? Who are you?"

Peter, in all earnestness, came closer to me, among the trees which
surrounded the hilltop. Now some of the trees began further down so their
tops were up among the hillside as it rose up, now their leaves giving up
ample cover but with enough spaces in between the hanging bits for us to
see both sides of the hilltop. And both Indian camps. Peter, in all
truth, leaned in on me, "See here, Chase, I'm Pan. Peter. Peter Pan. You
must remember me. Neverland can make you..."

I yelled, "I'M KIDDING! TEASING! I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!"

Peter smiled and shut his eyes, "Sure you do," Then he opened them both
and winked one, the left one at me, as if to say, he didn't believe me.

"Peter. Pan! Pan Peter, you are so infuriating I would just like to..."
He leaned forward with a fist raised and smiled.

Three boys dropped in around us, fell in more like it. Oh no, three more.
I am glad I didn't say it out loud. They were cute as a button. Very
small, even smaller than Jennie. All three were redheads. Brief freckles
and cute as a button, all three of them identical. Peter opened his arms
and put his hands out, more proud to introduce them than aware they were
almost hurt in the falling, "Lost Boys, Chase, meet the twins!"

"Twins?" I said. Landen and Aoi poked me in the back. "Those are not
twins." The two lost boys behind me were trying to get me to shut up. No
one was allowed to know more than Peter but I did. And would damn well
tell him. "Twins are two, Peter, two."

"Yes well there are two of them," Peter said, "And that one. Bailey."

The tougher of the trio came forward and pushed his hands on my knees and
shoved, "Hello." They were Irish. From Ireland. They spoke with heavy
accents.

"Well boys while you are playing on a hill," Peter waved his arms up,
"I stopped a religion war."

"You did?" I was amused. "Who are you two?"

"I'm Barry Wilhelm the Third" He was cute but he hid behind the one
called Bailey. Their hair was straight and bang oriented.

"Hello, Barry Wilhelm, the third. You were born third?" The boy shook
his head . "And you?" I approached the last one.

"He's Boregard Grace," Bailey said, "Doesn't talk much. And I'll pound
anyone who tries to make him if he doesn't want to."

Bo Grace smiled at me and I smiled back. "Triplets, Peter," I said
through my smile, "They are called triplets. And by the way, while you
were gone, two Indian tribes moved in."

"Really? More adventures! I haven't seen Indians in a long time!" Peter
gasped in awe, "But it's no biggie."

"Biggie?"

"Yeah it means no big..."

"I KNOW!"

"Sure you do," Peter winked his other eye at me.

Jennie moved over to Bo Grace and smiled, and he took his hand. I would
swear they were telepathically talking to each other. And maybe they were
and I was picking up some of it.

"What do we do?"

"DO?" Peter asked, "Why we do nothing."

"Nothing? But Indians!"

"They might be friendly," Peter said and shrugged, then added quite in
his tension creating way and mischievousness, "But I hope not..." His
eyebrows were up and his smile curled. It meant trouble.

Sigh.

"I'm not!" Bailey did something no Lost Boy has ever done. Right then
and there. He ran at Peter and pushed him over and down! Well, I was
impressed I must say.

"What happened? What?" I asked.

Bailey got off Peter, who laughingly got up too and smacked the top of
Bailey's head, "Don't!"

While casting a sideways glance at Peter and not taking my eyes off him
after it, I carefully and slowly asked Bailey, "Wad he doe....uh, do?"

"He gave us fairy dust to fly from this naked little boy fairy and then
on the way here, we all fell asleep!"

"At the same time!" Peter said as if that were the most wonderful thing
in the world, and he said so, "Is it not the most wonderful thing in the
world?!"

"...and then he would try to grab us all up at once, saving us but also
at just the last moment so that I was never sure he would save my
brothers and me all."

I frowned, "Peter." I said to him.

"Oh it was nothing, but magnificent. Of meeee!" Peter jumped and pushed
Bailey, "You're all alive aren't you?! Aren't I great??!!!!!" It really
wasn't a question and I should remove the question mark.

"Bailey meet Peter Pan. Proud Peter Pan."

"And deserving of it." Guess who said that?

"Peter aren't we going to see about these new tribes? The Indians?"

"Ahhh, nah ha, maybe later. Well first, I have to fit these boys for
their holes."

"WHAT?" I asked, not really listening and not really registering. I knew
what he meant. He had to make sure they could fit down new holes in the
tree house home. Under the ground.

"Are you forgetting that much?" Peter tut tutted.

"Chase, are you?" Landen asked, worriedly.

"No!" I snapped, "I know you meant that you have to roll and pin them so
they fit, but look at them, they are small enough."

They also wore jackets too small for them and no shirts underneath and
short brown pants which were almost at their knees. Peter put his hands
on his hips and looked at them, "Tut tut. Tut. And more Tut. King Tut,
I'd like to fight him."

"King Tut?" I asked.

"Yeah when he was a boy of course, cause that's when he was at his most
strongest."

"Most strongest?"

"Yeah!" Peter opened his beautiful mouth wide. "But now, we must do
something about their clothes. That's what I was saying. Their clothes."

"So I take it it will be more loin cloths or fur bikinis like the rest?"

"Yes, they aren't allowed to look like me."

"Shocker." I said. "Well, c'mon you three."

"I wanted to just call them the Twins but...I guess you're giving them
names is a good idea."

"Thanks for admitting it."

"Sure, it was one of my better ideas."

"Peter, it was my idea."

"Ahhh, yes," Peter smiled and winked at Landen. The boys laughed.

I didn't like to call myself mother but truth be known I was just about
that anyway. I mean I didn't like to associate myself with being a mom or
a fairy or a queen but I did make sure they slept sometimes, ate proper
sometimes, and checked myself not to be a nag. I also, as I already
mentioned made sure they bathed., washed, or got a snorting from an
elephant's nose. I planned on getting Peter with the elephant, he was so
annoying today and lately. But tricking Peter Pan wasn't easy.

I tried hiding the elephant behind the holes in the trees but Peter was
too fast. He didn't even know the elephant was there. And it got me. Wet.
Very wet. Thanks, Peter. I tried putting the elephant in the Mermaid
Lagoon, something the Mermaids didn't love me for. Peter dove in the
water before the elephant could spray him. I tried luring Peter to a
thick moss eaten tree, a lush affair in the woods. With the elephant
behind a thick hard wood giant tree. Peter ducked aside. Then he kicked
me in the knees from behind. I fell. He knew all along what I was trying
to do. I stuck the trunk of the elephant out of the Little House which at
the time was high up on a cliff side. Peter got wet this time and he was
mad as hell. He was yelling an unearthly sound and the elephant took off
out of the house, tumbling a wall down and running along the cliff. Peter
wasn't mad at it but it didn't know that. "CHASE!" I was actually afraid
of him. I hid in the bushes. "COME HERE!"

"Uh, it was just a huh, joke, Peter." I stood up bravely.

Peter flew at me like a dragon demon. Eyes red. He flew right at me with
fists out in front! The way I knocked the sorcerer down. "RAAAAAAAAAA!"
He was yelling! What the hell!??

"What the hell!" I snapped out loud, "I'm not Hook or one of your
enemies!"

"RAAAAAAAAAAA! WET ME WILLYA!????"

"NO PETER!" I put my hands out in front of me.

Peter drew his fists back and I thought he wanted to gain some ground for
them to smack me. He landed hard against me, his front coming out of a
horizontal position and smacking me in a vertical manner. He tumbled me
to the ground and was on top of me. "I'M GONNA DO YOU HARM!"

"NO PETER STOP ITTTTT!"

Peter lifted his right hand to punch me, "Psyche."

"What?"

He stopped. He laughed. "Psyche. I faked it."

"Get offa me!" I turned and he fell off.

"Oawfffffff!" He landed his face in a puffy flower and it sprayed puff
smoke. He coughed. And laughed. "Got ya."

I got on top of his hips and put my hands on his arm, holding him down.
"And I got you."

Peter, "What're you gonna do ta me?"

"Torture tickle until you admit I got you!"

"I let you."

Tickling commenced. "Tickles begin!"

I tickled him a lot in the stomach and under his hairless arms. He
laughed and I sat on his hips and jiggled as he did.

Another morning I dove out of the underground hole and landed in...
"SNOW!" I hated snow. "I hate snow," I declared to all of Neverland.
Luckily the seasons in Neverland never lasted long, in fact, they moved
around depending on time of day, day of week, and Peter's mood and, to my
surprise, my own mood. I wondered why. Was this the link to Peter I had?
Did it effect Neverland? If so, I'd have to be real careful.

"Oh it's wonderful!" The lost boys flew up out of their holes and
started to make snowballs. One hit my bare chest. Also luckily, thanks to
Peter and his magic protection, whatever that was, not even he knew what
it was I was convinced of that, extremes of heat and cold didn't effect
us...much. The cold was nothing to us. Nor to Peter.

"Yeah, great!" I said with not much energy. "How'd you guys get woken
up?"

"Someone dumped snow balls in our bed!" Aoi said as if THAT was the best
thing in the world.

"Who?" As if I didn't know.

"ME!" A figure flew up so fast and hit me from behind and knocked me
face first into the snow. Laughing. "Peter!" I said, spitting up snow.
"I'm gonna...."

Peter was pummeling the Lost Boys, all of them, including the tough ones,
with snowballs, "Ahhh, you can't do nothing to me."

I could. I landed a snowball right on his chin and it was made of some
ice. I was shocked I did it. I never liked sports much. I didn't really
tell Peter that because while he was not the sports hater I was, he was
somewhat sport oriented but I could never see him in formal sports. He'd
go to practice for a week or so maybe and then give it up as too boring,
moving onto the next game. Baseball? I hated it. Still do. The ball hit
me in the face one time ending my reluctant forced career in baseball
little league. Soccer? Never got enough time to play thanks to not being
very good. I liked head butting the ball though. See Peter play football
and impress the pro scouts, then the next day he'd be at tiddley winks,
besting all the girls and boys at that. Next day he's probably kick
Pele's ass in soccer and grow bored with it after a day or a month even?
Then he move onto hide and seek, by himself, if need be. Thanks to
Maime's letters to him, read to him by Solomon for he still could not
read at that time. I was trying to teach him and making some progress.
But anyway thanks to her letters he knew some more of how to play like
real boys but before that and even a bit after, he played all wrong and
in not knowing it was sad to anyone looking. But he had a great time
anyway. He was full of joy. I sometimes would say he was full of
something else but both were correct. And let's not even talk about
fencing. There was no one greater at it then he. So it was. He'd be great
at formal sports if he had any staying power but boys grow bored of
things fast. And the day after plugging the Super Bowl for his whole team
singlehandedly, he'd be scooping out lava from an active volcano.

Which brings me to another side bar. Peter told me he did that once. And
from a volcano he called Krakatoa. Now Krakatoa blew up in 1883 I think.
August 27th, possibly. From what little Peter said this volcano was
either part of Neverland or very near it. Which makes me realize
Neverland is probably in the Pacific Ocean someplace. Maybe. Or maybe in
another dimension altogether. I lay awake sometimes and think of these
things. So Wendy and her brothers, the cute John and cuter Michael, were
here when Peter used the lava to de-ice the Ice King's freezing of the
Lost Boys, Wendy, John and Michael, (the Ice King's name must not be
mentioned or he is summoned forth). Anyway, that means that Wendy and
brothers came here sometime before Krakatoa blew up, say 1880 or so. And
Peter was here far before that. From the look of his mother's home, not
that different from Wendy's home, it was near Kensington Gardens and not
all that old, like not as far as 1500s or earlier but who knows. Of
course all this could be conjecture since Peter might have just called
another volcano Krakatoa and not the real Krakatoa. Or it could have been
yet another pretend. He might have even called Smokey Top Mountain
Krakatoa. Did it matter? Peter is very, very old. But not as old as say
God or the devil.

Someone spun I the air, a heavy chunk of snow from wrist to shoulder and
sliding down arm, to hand to be made into twenty snowballs per hand and
firing like a machine gun, head over heels, Peter spun and spun and hit
all of us with snowballs. Laughing. As usual. Bailey scored a hit to
Peter's butt crack. And that made me laugh! Of course Peter declared, "I
WIN! Again! I always win!" He tried to stand up but flying was such a
joy to him at this moment and most others, that he tilted and almost fell
but rose in the air, feet spinning, butt up in the air, then down. Head
up and head down. He couldn't stay still today. "Hey let's play James
Bond!"

"What?" He was constantly surprising me. "I didn't think you knew about
James Bond...I..."

He landed and stood on one leg and then the other, "Sure. More recent
development. Movies, books, and stories!" He said this with such fervor,
almost religious in intensity, that my energy was renewed and I felt
excited by stories and adventures all over again. "I'd be perfect as
James Bond of course!"

"Oh, you wish!" I laughed.

"No, no, no. Check It out!" Peter made motions with his hands, one hand
went up, "I'd get the chicks..."

"Chicks?" I said worriedly.

"Yeah, I get the chicks...." The other hand went up and his fingers
made a small pistol, "The guns, the cars....I'd be perfect...."


"You don't even like girls....anymore."

"Nooo, but...." Peter looked at me and made a face that told me I was
chastised.

"Oh, ahh, pretend."

"Yes, don't ruin it or I'll beat you severely."

"How'd that be different from any other day??"

Peter laughed, "I love you!" He grabbed me up and held me to him, "Let's
go. I'm James Bond and you..."

"I will NOT be Money Penny."

"You can be...Felix Lieter."

"Great. Only this time I don't want a shark to eat his...." Peter
looked at me as if to say I was once more spoiling the pretend so I
changed it to, "...my arm." I quickly added but no one cared, "I've had
enough of sharks for a lifetime."

As we played, Bailey being the super villain Blofeld, a real super
villain was watching us. And it was not an Indian.


The play Peter Pan and its characters are trademarks of and copyright
J.M. Barrie