You'll See

I updated Music, too, so for those who've read it so far, go check out the new chapter. :) I think you'll like it. And for those who haven't, you're welcome to go peruse it also.





At lunch, I chose an empty table and waited on Jasper. He joined me shortly. He didn’t have any food, and he sat directly beside me.

“Can we talk?” he asked quietly

“Here? Now?”

“I won’t get a chance later if you’re going back.”

“Very well.”

“I wanted to apologize for last night and this morning. I shouldn’t have made you wake up alone. I just had to talk to Carlisle. There are things I need to tell you, but this isn’t the place.” I nodded.

“Is Edward mad at me?”

“No. Why do you ask?”

“He gave me a look earlier and it kind of scared me, but I couldn’t tell what was in his eyes. It looked like resentment, but more…if that makes any sense.” Jasper looked over to the table Bella and Edward were occupying. He stared for a moment, but then Edward’s head raised and met Jasper’s gaze. I saw him lean over and whisper something to Bella, before he made his way towards us. He sat directly across from Jasper, who was still silent.

“What do you want that’s so urgent?” Edward asked.

Jasper stared.

“Not angry, no.”

Silence.

“You had no right—” He was cut off by something I couldn’t hear. I figured Edward was reading Jasper’s mind; that’s why I was only hearing half a conversation. “That was different! There’s no reason to tell him.”

Jasper’s questioning gaze turned to a hard glare.

“Because she figured it out.” I was thoroughly confused. “He doesn’t need to know. He’ll run.”

Jasper’s face registered a brief moment of pain, but he quickly smothered it.

“Hello? The ‘he’ you’re most likely talking about is right here,” I interrupted. “And I’m not going anywhere.” Jasper’s face relaxed minutely.

Jasper asked another silent question.

Edward jumped up, defensive.

“Because I didn’t have sex with her before I told her!” he practically yelled. The lunchroom fell silent. Jasper calmly pointed to the seat in front of him; Edward just glared.

“Sit. Down,” Jasper growled. Edward complied grudgingly. The chatter around us started again. “Is that what this is? Jealousy?” Edward didn’t look in our direction. “Edward, are you jealous that I managed to keep control?”

“No,” he answered petulantly.

“This should show you that if I, the worst one, can keep control, then you should be able to tenfold!”

“What the heck are you guys talking about?” I inquired. They both looked at me in surprise; they had forgotten I was there!

“It has to do with what I’m going to tell you later.”

I nodded. “I’m still confused…”

“So you’re going through with it?” Edward asked.

“Carlisle believes it would be best.”

“Don’t come crying to me when he doesn’t take it well.”

“I don’t cry,” he said as Edward left.

“Why does he keep insisting that I won’t take this news, whatever it is, well?” I questioned.

“Well… It’s a little difficult to comprehend.”

“So? I think I can handle it.”

He was silent.

“What do you think will happen?”

“I think… If you do leave, it will be my fault for letting myself get so close to you.”

“Do you really have so little faith in me?”

“No.”

“Then believe me when I tell you that I’m not going anywhere.”

“You’re hurt.”

“Why do you say that?” He only stared at me. “Oh. The whole…empath…thing.” He nodded. “I’ve got to remember that…”

“What is it?”

“I woke up alone this morning,” I intoned quietly.

“I told you I needed to talk to Carlisle. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t get it. It was my first time and I was alone.” My voice was deathly silent and very close to cracking. “I felt…used.”

He opened his mouth to contradict me, pain written in his features again, but I held up a silencing hand.

“I told you I loved you and you said nothing.” I let more malice than I intended lace my words. He looked completely chastised. “I felt like you treated me that way just so you could try a new experience. I still do.” Tears choked my voice.

“No, Whitaker, no.” He pulled me into a hug. “I would never do that to you.” The tears were running down my face, but I wasn’t embarrassed; I’d been through a lot in the past week. “I could never hurt you like that. I love you too much.”

“You’re just saying that because you feel guilty,” I sobbed quietly.

“Yes, I do feel guilty, but that’s not why I’m saying this. I thought I showed you I felt the same way. Don’t they say actions speak louder than words?”

“Sometimes…but I said it and you…”

“Then, hear me now, Whitaker Hill. I love you. If this school wasn’t so strict about PDA, I would kiss you right now.” I sobbed harder and he tried to soothe me.

“Is he all right?” I heard a soft, feminine voice ask.

“He will be, Angela. He lost his grandfather last Friday. It’s still hitting him pretty hard.”

“Oh, poor thing. You know, it may be better if you take him to one of the benches outside for a little privacy.”

“If we aren’t in class, will you let the teacher know why?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks, Angela.” I heard retreating footsteps, and then Jasper was helping me to stand, still holding me against his chest. “Come on. Let’s step outside for a moment.” I nodded meekly and felt him lead me away from all the curious stares and quiet whispers. “I’m going to the office so we can see about getting you out of school for the rest of the day.” I heard a door open and felt a warm rush of air, the temperature very unlike the body I was clinging to and depending on to guide me. My sobs were making my breath come in short gasps; the sound dominated my ears, making it difficult to understand the quiet whispers I could hear.

“Wha…ong?”* the secretary asked. Everything seemed muddled and unclear, like a creek with churned up silt.

“Lo…ather…week and…etty har…needs to…ome.” Jasper’s words made no sense.

“Ah. And I…ant to…him?”

“He’s no…herent now…needs som…help.” I finally opened my eyes and immediately wished I hadn’t. The room was spinning, everything was blurry, and I couldn’t breathe. “Whitaker?” His voice was distant and echoing. I felt my backside hit something plastic; Jasper had seated me in one of the chairs. He held my face in his hands. “Whitaker, lo…me.”** I tried to focus on him, but I couldn’t understand him.

“What are you saying?” I questioned.

“You…ing…nic att… Bre…owly.”***

“What? I can’t understand you.” He pantomimed breathing slowly, so I tried.

The room stopped spinning and I could finally breathe again.

“Can you understand me?” he asked. I nodded and he breathed a sigh of relief.

“I don’t know what happened,” I muttered.

“You were having a severe panic attack. You started hyperventilating.”

“Get him home,” the secretary said. Jasper nodded and proceeded to pick me up, even though I protested.

“I’m not letting you have another attack like that, so just deal with me carrying you.”

“Fine, but I need Scruffball.”

“Who’s Scruffball?”

“My bear.” He nodded and set me in his car before going to Edward’s to get my bear.

When it was safely in my arms, I felt myself relax.

“Do you mind taking me to my house? We can talk out at the oak.”

“What if you have another attack?”

“I’m not crying now, so I should be fine.” His mouth was set in a grim line, but he nodded.





*What's wrong?
Lost his grandfather last week and it's hitting him pretty hard. He needs to rest and go home.
Ah. And I assume you want to go with him?
He's not completely coherent now. He needs someone there to help.
**Whitaker, look at me.
***You're having a severe panic attack. Breathe very slowly.
Gaps of Misery--For some reason, Edward's gonna be a scary OOC in this story. :) But I'm glad you liked it.