Ever Since You Kissed Me

Disclaimer: come on.. we all know its not mine... so why bother suing lil ol' me? i have nothing but an incredibly fat cat, and a hyperactice ex-racehorse... you can have the cat though...

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"Asher?" Jean-Claude ventured. The blonde had been brooding, more so than usual, and it was worrying him. "Asher, won't you speak to me, mon ami?"

A scarred visage turned towards him, face blank and unreadable. "What?"

Jean-Claude took a breath, trying to calm the pain that constricted his heart every time he laid eyes on his former lover. "I worry for you. You are drawing away from us, away from even Damian." A pause. "Damian thinks that you do not wish to be with him anymore. He believes that your love for his is dying."

Asher looked grieved. "I never meant to hurt him."

"What is wrong, mon ami? Why do you push us away?"

A silence, then: "I am afraid."

"Afraid of what?" Jean-Claude was incredulous. "Surely not of Damian... "

"No! no..." Asher shook his head. "I do no know what it is... It is a feeling of dread that I cannot place nor set to rest." Asher looked at the other, with pain in his eyes. "Does he hate me?"

"No, mon ami. He could never hate you. You know that. He is merely hurt--" Asher bolted from the room before he could finish. "But we must discuss..." he trailed off. Asher was gone anyway.

****

Asher hurried to Damian's rooms, guilt riddling his heart. He knocked, calling his lover's name softly. When he didn't hear anything, he opened the door, peering in cautiously. "Damian?"

There was a pause, then a sigh could be heard from the bedroom. "Yes, Asher?"

"May I come in?"

"Of course," Damian replied softly as he stepped out of the bedroom, looking unaccountably nervous. "You are always welcome here."

Seeing his beloved with such worry on his face nearly broke Asher's heart. Stepping close, the blonde cupped the other's face.

He leaned close, resting his forehead on Damian's. "I'm so sorry I hurt you, love. I never meant to cause you pain."

"Asher..." Damian whispered, wrapping his arms about the blonde's neck. "I thought you hated me..."

"No!" Asher held on tighter. "I could never hate you! Never!"

"I thought you had left me..." Damian was crying now, shaking uncontrollably. Asher was a little confused. He had been incredibly cruel to the redhead, but Damian *was* and ex-Viking; he *was* over one thousand years old. He shouldn't be so upset. Guiding the distraught vampire top the sofa, Asher sat, and brought him onto his lap. The blonde stroked his red hair comfortingly, hushing quietly, kissing the pale forehead.


Damian was muttering to himself, clutching at Asher's shirt and crying his pink-tinged tears. "Don't leave me please don't leave me please don't ever leave me..."

Asher tipped Damian's face up to meet his: "I will never leave you... not if I can do anything to stop it, I love you..."

Damian kept muttering, desolation in his eyes. "Damian!" Asher shook the other. The redhead cried out, and their eyes met. A realization seemed to dawn in Damian's eyes. "You're going to leave me."

"No." Asher whispered, shaking his head. "I won't. Never."

Damian's eyes were dead and hollow, yet clear. "Yes, you will. When I need you most, you will leave me."

Ignoring Asher's protests to the otherwise, Damian went on: "I can't do that, Asher. I can't. Not again." Damian pulled away from the blonde, and stood up. "The past has taught me something Asher. Taught me that I don't want to be cast off by you." The vampire finally made eye contact with Asher. "I want you to leave, Asher."

Asher was stunned, to say the least. "What?"

"All this last while Asher, you have either completely ignored me, or brushed me off when I tried to talk to you, or hold you, or, God! Even be in the same room as you! I won'tvivevive if you leave me Asher. And you will. I can't... I can't..." Damian struggled, once again unable to look his lover in the eyes.

Asher stood as well, and tried to embrace him, but the other shrugged him off. "Don't... please. Don't touch me. Just go."

Asher dropped his arms. "Damian," he pleaded. "Please..."

"No." Damian whispered. "Just go."

"But... you say that if I leave you, you will die. Is that not what I am doing?"

"No. I am telling you to leave."

Asher made one last attempt. "What if I can prove you wrong?" Damian shook his head sadly.

"I will!" Asher said determinedly. "I will remain true to you. I love only you." He stepped up to Damian and grasped his face. He forced the other into a kiss, pleased when, even in his anger, Damian was still unable to resist him. The redhead pushed at his chest, trying ineffectively to get Asher off of him.

When the blonde finally released him, Damian was panting and nearly crying from misery. "Please Asher. Don't do this to me... please."

Asher caressed his lover's cheek. "I will never hurt you Damian. You do not have to worry abou lea leaving you for someone else."

"Not even Jean-Claude?"

Asher jerked, trying to keep his face straight, but he wasn't fast enough to keep Damian from noticing. "You see? Even now, you cannot forget him."

"I love only *you*, Damian!" Asher tried to assure the other.

Damian's eyes were cold, hard and dead. "I think you should leave."

"But- - "

"*Please*." The plea was whispered.

Asher left, casting only one last, longing look over his shoulder at the love he was abandoning.

Damian had turned away, so Asher wouldn't see the blood-red tears he wept.

*~*~*