Unfaithful

"Hey. Christine."

She felt a tap on her shoulder and sat up groggily, seeing Raoul standing over her. He cocked his head to the side, as she sat up. "What are you doing out here?"

Surprised to find herself in her robe on the sofa she replied. "Oh. I guess I couldn't sleep."

Raoul sat down beside her, rubbing her shoulders. "I'm sorry you didn't sleep well." He pulled her close. "I know a way we could relax, make you feel better."

"God! Is that all you think about?" She yelled while jumping up, hugging her arms around herself as she walked to look out the window.

"What? I thought you'd like to go out for some breakfast."

"I'm not hungry."

"Well, don't bite my head off. Hell I am sorry to bother you, Your Royal Highness."

"Don't start that wounded shit with me again."

"Why not? Acting like your too damn good to be bothered by anyone. Like last night..."

Christine whipped around to face him. "Last night?"

Raoul flopped down in the matching leather chair. "Absolutely. Could you have at least tried to act a little more interested, done something besides that incessant nod?"

"Why? Those people could care less what I say. I could walk in there tarred and feathered and the only thing they would say is My dear what an interesting choice of couture...can you volunteer for the next charity auction?"

"Maybe if you put forth some effort?"

"Effort? Oh pardon me for attending every single boring as hell ball, dinner, and soiree for the past 6 years."

"You don't seem to mind....how the hell am I supposed to read your mind and know you didn't want to go?"

"How? Maybe ask once in awhile? It's always about you- this important client, that important contact. It's not as if we need the fucking money."

"Which you certainly don't seem to mind spending." Raoul waved his arm at the well furnished apartment around them.

"And what am I supposed to do with my time?"

"I thought that was why you did all the volunteer work?"

"With people introduced by you, with volunteering set up by you, or through people you know. I have nothing of my own!"

"Nothing, huh? Well since you don't count me as anything..." Raoul got up and headed to the bedroom. "I will make my nonexistant exit and go for a run. Keep your own damn self company."

Christine turned back to the window, refusing to cry again as she heard Raoul leave the apartment.

And that's the way to start the day. She rubbed her neck, stiff from the few hours on the sofa. Looking at the closed door, she comtemplated going after him and apologizing.

Gah- when did you become so spineless? Let him go pout. She ran her hand through her mussed hair, suddenly aware of the stickiness between her thighs.

I am not spending the day here...and certainly not spending anymore time looking like hell, either. Her mind made up, she went to the master bath and turned the shower on as hot as it would go. A half hour later, showered and dressed she headed out to the Starbucks on the corner

~~~~~

"Oof!" Lost in her thoughts Christine plowed straight into the hard chest of the man trying to leave Starbucks. "oh God I am sor..."

Looking up Christine was frozen as a pair of beautiful green eyes regarded her. One eyebrow arched up as a humored smirk came to his lips. "No problem." He stood to the side and held the door wide. Christine remained where she was, locked with those eyes.

"Are you ok?" She nodded. His voice was like...it was as gorgeous as his eyes.

"Are you going in?"

"Oh...yes." Christine managed to pull herself together. "I'm sorry. Wasn't paying attention."

"No problem." Christine stepped through into the café. Moving to the line she turned and saw him walking down the sidewalk with undescribable grace. Gah...probably thinks I am a bluthering idiot....he's right.
______________________________________

When did we get like this?

Christine took another sip of her café latte and watched the people passing by outside.

When?

It seemed the logical thing to do....marrying Raoul. Christine let her mind wander over their combined pasts. She had known Raoul since she could walk, their families had vacationed in Nantucket and Bermuda together most years. He had been her first real date, her first kiss. Raoul left for Stanford at the end of her junior year of high school, she stayed to attend Julliard.

I should have finished...one year left. What could I have done instead?

She took another sip and sighed. 28 years old and I feel like I am at the end. I cannot imagine another five, ten twenty years of this. But what?

She let her mind wander to Raoul's return to New York. She had dated other guys, a few more serious than others, but seeing Raoul had brought back so many happy memories. It had been her junior year as a voice performance major at Julliard when Raoul returned for a graduate nternship with a Wall Street brokerage.

You should have finished school. The voice in her head admonished her.

But the rush of parties following the announcement of their engagement combined with the 'What are you going to do with a music degree anyway?' pressure from her family helped to push Christine's decision to leave school.

And now look at the wonderful life you have.

Christine tried, but could not remember a single, truly meaningful thing she had accomplished on her own since finishing her last role at Julliard.

Everything, every single thing....volunteer work, friends, vacations, everything has been connected to Raoul since the engagement. My friends are busy....performing, teaching, traveling.

Christine looked out the window by her table...and here I am.

Here I am...