Damned Fates

Well another day come and gone... It brings me closer to the day I'll die. Dearest cousins and nieces and nephews, this is for you. I'm a year away from my 27th birthday, and I've yet to find anyone I can take as a lover to continue our line... I'm picky... and it shows... But why shouldn't I be? If I must die then I want my child to have a father that can understand why I had to die. Is that so wrong? Is it too much to ask, for one man to be able to take on the responsibility of raising a child, to know their mother died not because she wanted to leave but she had to? I want that for my child... The only piece left of me after I die...

If only I could know who I was ment for. If only I wasn't cursed by Apollo. If only's won't get me any where now will they? I'm writing to say don't settle for just anyone. Find someone who loves you as deeply as you deserve and let them into your life. Just because we are fated to die early doesn't mean we must rush our lives and take whomever we find first as our children's parent.

Please remember to enjoy every moment of you life, as short as it may be. Each moment that you breathe is a moment to celebrate. Every nightfall should be special. For we are the flowers that bloom only for a short while. Our lives should be meaningful and unique. Love always,

Janette

I close the scrapbook i've been working on for the one's I'll leave behind. It is a morbid task but a family tradition that I honor all the same. It has become easier with the new century: Scrapbooking has become a major hobby. I look at the scrapbooks lining the walls of the living room. Everyone in their place by oldest member of the family all the way down to my mother and father. Not to mention my oldest brothers and sisters. I gently sigh and touch my father's book. Even now I can feel his presence, his love of life and easy acceptance of our fates.

I hear the running of little feet and turn to watch Nikki come running into the room. "Auntie Janette!!! Save me!!" I swing her into my arms and laugh. "What have you done now little one?" She wraps her arms around me and whispers, "Uncle Darien is chasing us... He saws we shouldn't be playing games we can't finish." I smile at her and gently set her down. "Darien is wrong sweet one... We never finish what we start in life... We must work as hard as we can to do it, but even the smartest of us will never finish everything we start."

Nikki smiles at me and holds onto my leg, she looks up and me and thinks on what I've said. "Auntie you are right, why doesn't Darien think that way?" "Because Darien is a pessimist... He see's the glass as half empty. We must look to the brighter side of life or we become broken and defeated." She nodds and runs to the door, turning to smile at me and say, "I'm going to go and finish my game. Even if no one helps me I'l do it."

I nodd my head at her and she runs off. I hope all her dreams come true... Nikki is all I have left of Nicholas, my eldest brother, and his wife, Michele. May they smile upon their Daughter and see her grow into a beautiful woman for I shall now be here to do so. The thought makes me sad... I shake my head of the gloomy thoughts and head out the door. It's time for my date with Micah... Hopefully he'll be a part of my last dream... But I'll have to wait and see.