Scars

Chapter 2

Jasper POV

When I was wondering what to expect in the morning....I should have been thinking afternoon because it was now nearly four and Bella was still snoring away upstairs.  Well not really snoring, just breathing loudly.  Sometimes I wish I could just go to sleep myself, switch off. 

I heard moment from upstairs but it was another ten minutes before Bella appeared in the kitchen.  She still looked half asleep.

“Bella, go back upstairs and sort yourself out, I’ll make you something to eat if you want.” I offered.  She nodded slowly. “Go have a shower and awake yourself up a little, I’m sure you can find some clothes upstairs to borrow too even if they are a bit big.”

Bella POV

I felt like the living dead.  Why is it when you sleep for a long time you always feel like you have a hangover?  I guess my body needed a shutdown because I don’t even remember getting to bed and the next thing I know I’m in a strange bedroom and the clock says that’s it’s ten to four in the afternoon. 

I stepped into the shower and let out a sigh.  That felt better, a lot better.  I washed my hair as although I didn’t have a toothbrush I did use the mouthwash by the sink.  Did vampires need mouthwash and a toothbrush and toothpaste?  I guess maybe he’s worried about blood staining his teeth??  I rummaged around in the closet in the bedroom for a while rather embarrassed at the thought of wearing Jasper’s clothes.  In the end I just dug out a big chequered shirt and slid my underwear and skirt back on.  I folded my top and bra up and left them on the bed with my handbag for now before heading back downstairs.

“Feel better?” Jasper asked, as I entered the kitchen. 

And if you'd get inside my head, then you'd understand*

Then you'd understand me*

“Much.” I replied, sitting at the table to a glass of fruit juice and some egg and bacon on toast. “Thanks Jasper.”  He just kind of shrugged in response as if bringing home a hysterical girl and giving her breakfast was normal. “I mean it.  It means a lot to see a friendly face.”

“I wouldn’t exactly call mine a friendly face.” He smirked.

“You’re not a monster Jasper.” I murmured, tucking into my breakfast.

Jasper POV

I could feel that her statement was genuine, so I didn’t bother to respond.  I felt like a monster most of the time.  I couldn’t help feeling partially responsible for tearing apart my family.  It was a feeling that wasn’t just going to go away.  I knew I wasn’t the only one responsible, everyone played their parts...but in the long run sometimes despite all logic you just can’t shift the guilt.

I turned to Bella, her emotions catching my attention.  She was looking at me, she must have been wondered why I was staring into space.

“What wrong?” I asked her.  I felt the embarrassment from her before the blush even kept into her cheeks.

Why I've felt so alone, why I kept myself from love*

And you became my favorite drug*

So let me take you right now and swallow you down,*

I need you inside*

“Sorry, you um...dazzled me.” She replied. 

“Bella that only works when I look directly at you not out the window.” I replied.

“No not that kind.  I just thought you looked kinda beautiful when you sparkle.” She corrected me. “I haven’t seen anyone sparkle in a long time.”  I felt her sadness. “I missed you all you know...”  I didn’t know what to say or do so I sent her a little wave of happiness and watched the grin spread of her face.  She laughed out loud and then narrowed her eyes at me. “No fair!  Right Mr no you’ve had it!”  With that I watch her calm her face then felt a huge wave of amusement before the smile broke out on her face.  I couldn’t help it her happiness and amusement took over me and I started chuckling myself. 

As soon as it started to wear off I sent her a wave of confusion.  I saw her look side to side as if in thought before her eyes narrowed on me again.  Then I saw her face straighten and her calm herself.  She closed her eyes and I watched her intently before I felt tiredness creep at me. 

Do you think that this is right, or is it really wrong*

I know that this is what we've been wanting*

“This is war Bella.” I murmured lazily, sending her a wave of nervousness.  I stood and moved over to her making her get more nervous but by the time I stood behind her chair I was hit by a wave of lust so hard that it shuddered through me.  I stood very still all of a sudden.  Bella stood up and faced me.  Her eyes met mine and I felt the tension go through the roof as she leaned forward until her face was millimetres from my own.

And all this is burning in my soul, it fills up to my throat*

It fills up till my heart is breaking*

“I win.” She breathed and then stepped backwards.  I shook my head a few times to clear the emotions and try to get control back.  I could still feel both nervousness and lust from Bella as well as embarrassment but I figured she was also trying to sort her head out and get control of herself.

“So, did you want to hang out today before I take you home....where is home by the way?” I asked her, trying to change the subject completely.

“Sure, I have no other plans.” She replied. “And home is an apartment in town.”

“That suits you actually.” I said gesturing to my shirt that nearly reached the bottom of her short skirt.  I felt a kind of possessive thrill that it was my shirt she was wearing, which was disturbing and ridiculous but I decided that it was the animal in me. 

“Um thanks...I’m no cowgirl but I like it.” She said shyly.  She started to look uncomfortable, I realised it was probably because we were just standing in the kitchen making awkward conversation.

“So what did you want to do today ma’am?” I asked, placing my hand on her back to lead her into the living room.

Now, we can both learn*

Somehow, you'll see it's all we have*

Love, it keeps us together*

and I need love*

“Well...I don’t think going outside is exactly an option just yet, unless you want any neighbours to see you shooting rainbows.” She smiled.

“I don’t really have any close neighbours but I get your point.  How about we wait another hour or so for the sun to start going down and then I take you out for dinner?” I offered.

“Well I don’t think I’d feel comfortable going out to eat having you watch.” She replied, dropping backwards so that she was led across the couch.  I couldn’t help my gaze sliding along her long pale legs hung over the arm of the couch in front of me. 

“I could physically eat if it made you feel better...or we could just head into town and see where we end up?  I’ve heard human girls like to shop almost as much as Alice does.” I suggested.

“Well, most human girls you’d be right...just not this one.  I’m useless at shopping.” She grinned leaning up on her elbows to look at me.

“Then allow me to be useless with you ma’am.” I replied.  I sat on the chair so as not to make Bella uncomfortable with my constant standing.  This girl was positively infectious.  I’d never spent much time with her before, and never more than a few moments alone with her.  Still, I saw now why she brightened the whole family...she had certainly brightened my day.  She just had so much love around her...is this why Carlisle wanted us to be able to live among humans?  Or was it just Bella? 

“How long have you been living here?” Bella asked, interrupting my thoughts.

“Not long.” I replied.

“How long are you going to stay?” she asked.

“Not sure yet.” I replied casually.

“I just wondered if you wanted to hang out sometimes...if you’re around you know?”

Bella POV

A few moments passed and he didn’t answer me.  I raised an eyebrow at him curiously, he was just staring into space.  What was he thinking about so hard?

“Sorry, of course Bella, it’d be my pleasure.” He replied at last.

I relaxed back into the sofa and just led in silence for a moment, I must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes the sun was lower in the sky and Jasper was stood in the window.  I took a deep breath as I looked at him.  It was wrong but I couldn’t help myself, he was perfect.  His long blonde waves framed his ruggedly handsome face, his body lean but sculpted and muscled.

I felt a little uncomfortable that my thoughts were heading to towards a very dangerous place, and judging by the fact Jasper was now looking at me he knew I was embarrassed about something.

“Sorry I guess I fell asleep.” I said awkwardly.

“No worries, we can probably go out now.” He said.

“You mean now you won’t start dazzling all the poor humans?” I asked, sitting up.

“I try not to do that too often.” He smirked. “Not that it seems to work on you, you saw straight through the vamp from the club.”

“I guess once you’ve seen vampires you can’t unsee them.” I shrugged, standing and following him to my truck.  Unsurprisingly he got in the driver’s side, typical vampire. “But sometimes you guys do still dazzle me.  Maybe I was just put off by the red eyes.”

“That’d do it.” He agreed, pulling down the driveway onto the road. 

When I wake up without you, knowing you're not there*

I'm only feeling half as good*

NOW I'm gonna find a way*

To wrap you in my arms, you make me feel alive*

* lyrics from The Calling - Unstoppable