Pups and Tykes

Pups and Tykes

Chapter 29

Fusedtwilight: Thank you to my beta purplernager, thanks to all my wonderful reviewers, you guys rock. This chapter we learn what set Utlapa off.

Leah P.O.V

After Akakios and Aristide got done fighting we formed a circle again. It had been a draw, neither brother had won.

Edward did not join us. He preferred to wait by Nessie's side as the healing circle healed her. Jake wanted to be by her side but he let Edward do it instead. He was her father after all.

"Will she be okay?" I asked, "I mean it was a big fall."

"The power of Jacob's blood and the power of Apollo will heal her, I believe by the time the story is finished she will be better then ever," Aristide said, giving us a warm smile.

"I can feel her, her aches and pains are getting better," Jake said.

Akakios got up and sat on the other side of Nessie. "Aren't you going to join us brother?" Aristide asked.

"What's the point? I know how it goes. One of us should remain here to monitor the girl," Akakios said.

"Thank you, I really appreciate what you are doing for her," Edward said bowing his head to Akakios.

"She's just a kid, stuck in someone else's war. It's always worse when the children get caught in the crossfire you know. So much potential, so much talent lost because of war because they are the children of someone's enemies. I see it all the time you know when I travel the world to collect souls. It's really fucked up. Why should the children suffer for the parents mistakes? Why should they die because they are who and what they are? You know that old saying the sins of the mother/father? I hate that saying; it's just a croc of shit an excuse to justify more senseless killings to help someone ease their feelings that what they are doing is right and sensible. Murder is never right nor sensible."

There was such pain and horror in his eyes. Akakios may be a cynical royal pain in the ass, but looking into those haunted eyes I know he has seen things horrible things, terrible things. Things that will take a person, chew them up and spit them out, leaving only the shell of a person left.

We all clasped hands, preparing to go back to the old days of La Push. The last thing I remember hearing was the sound of Edward humming softly to Nessie.

Utlapa P.O.V

I sat outside with Pitichu. Kon and the other children were playing their games. I watched as Kon held Utlupa's hand as he took his baby steps. My son was two years old but it only seemed like yesterday that he was born.

Utlupa giggled as his siblings ran around him, circling and singing the songs children sing. Barely the bear floated close by, unseen unless you knew where to look keeping an eye out for trouble. As the children sang and danced magic began to rise. I could taste it on my lips like mist after rain.

All of Pitichu's children had strong spiritual power. The singing and dancing summoned more power. To think such an insignificant thing as a group of children singing and dancing could invoke such power. But that's ritual magic for you. Bring the right people and do the right things and all kinds of amazing things could happen.

Kon and Utlupa began to float above the ground, the magic lifting them up, like a flower bud being raised by the air. Utlupa giggled in delight and wiggled his feet. Kon smiled at his younger brother enjoying his pleasure.

I was glad they were having fun but I was worried. I did not want them to break the circle and have Kon and Utlupa fall to the ground. Pitichu must have sensed my worry. She placed a hand on my arm and kissed my cheek.

"Do not worry, I taught them well," she said.

"Da, Da look!" Utlupa cried excitedly as he floated in the air.

I smiled at him and waved, he waved back excitedly. Kon how ever did not wave. Two years and he still did not like me.

"He is growing up so fast," I said.

"They all are. Soon they will grow up and move away," Pitichu said with a sigh.

"I doubt it, your house is the safest right now," I said.

The Nez Perce and the Kathlamats war were still raging. So far La Push managed to stay out of it, but we were getting a lot of pressure to join. We might have to. The war was disrupting our trade routes making trading with other tribes difficult. It was a difficult year and we needed all the resources we could get.

Despite my protests Pitichu was still supplying weapons and information. Business for her was good at least. She had so much fish, meat, fur, cloths and other items she actually gave them to me for the village. She had also been a useful spy.

I was still trying to get Aki to use our power to dominate the other tribes into submission. But he still refused, he still tried diplomacy. I admit it is his diplomatic skills that have kept us safe so far, but that can only last so long.

"You're mind is troubled, what ales you? Are you in need of tender love and care?" she asked playing with my hair.

Pitichu loved to play with my hair, said it was the silkiest hair a man had ever had. "I am uncertain of the future Pitichu. There are so many dangers now days. I live in constant fear something will happen to you or to our son."

"Fear is a heavy burden my love," she said.

"It is. I have considered using certain magics to learn the truth...forbidden magic."

She stopped playing with my hair. "What kind of forbidden magics?" she asked.

"Tell me, have you weaved the future?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Then have you seen anything, anything at all that might help us?" I asked.

Quiet for a moment, I actually had a hope she was going to tell me something important. "I have weaved many things my love none of them pleasant."

I slumped in defeat. "We have far too many questions and not enough answers. Pitichu, you know I value the law, with out it we are nothing but savage beasts. It gives us order and control."

"I hear a but coming."

"But desperate times call for desperate measures. Tomorrow Aki will be going to a meeting of the chiefs to talk and hopefully negotiate. He is hopeful, I am not. I think we need to seek answers from the future."

"I already told you what I have weaved."

"No...I mean I think I should see the future myself."

She stared at me shocked. What I was talking about doing was strictly forbidden. Taha Loki had forbidden the art of fate reading before me and Aki was born. Aki had not lifted that rule. I believe his father told him why he made such a rule before he died, but I have not asked. After I found out Taha Loki told him I was going to betray Aki and he would have to kill me I dare not find out what other secrets Aki kept from me.

"Seeing the future is a tricky business even for the ones like me who have the sight. It is like a vast maze with twists and turns that are constantly in flux and move and reshape. A map that redraws itself with every choice we make. You may think you are cheating fate but in truth you may be trapping yourself in its web. You're best using bones, or reading the clouds, hell if you really want details and specifics find a lamb or a bird gut it and read its entrails."

I kissed her on the forehead. "Do not worry I am a spirit warrior, I know what I am doing."

"It is forbidden Utlapa."

"Aki is my friend; I think he will give me some leeway. If it means I can protect you and our son then I will do what I must."

"Some things are best left unseen, unknown. You may learn things that could drive you mad. It has happened before. Please don't do this; the price is not worth it."

"You are worth it, he is worth it." I kissed her softly on the lips. "I should go; I have a lot of work to do before the meeting." I hugged her tight, knowing I would not be able to see her much lately.

I began to walk over to the children to say bye to Utlupa. I felt Pitichu wrap her hands around my waist. "Please, stay. I want another child."

I turned around to face her. "Don't you have enough?" I asked with a smile. My God she is insatiable.

"Let's run away together you, me and the children. We'll go far, far away, from all this mess. We'll start our own tribe. We have more then enough power to get by. Let's forget about all this. We can do it Utlapa, we have that choice. We can be so happy. We can have our own laws and traditions." her hands traveled to my chest. "You, Kon and all the boys go out and hunt, come back home to a fine cooked meal me and the girls have prepared, then me and you sneak off into the night to have time to ourselves and have more children. You can have the family you always wanted as can I"

Her words had an affect on me. I truly could see it me with the boys coming home after a long days work. The girls welcoming us home and preparing the food we brought. Late night bon fires where I tell them the stories my father learned from his father Pitichu, her belly round with our next child.

My heart liked that idea. But things could not be like that.

"I cannot just leave La Push Pitichu, I have responsibilities. I am a spirit warrior. Aki needs me."

"Aki is the chief and has plenty of advisers and councilors to help him."

"I took oaths, pledges, promises. I cannot and will not go back on them."

"Yes you can, that is the ultimate freedom, and don't you see the freedom the shrug off the chains or responsibility and leave."

"Some things you can not shrug off Pitichu. Could you just leave your children?"

"Of course not," she said indigently.

"Well I can not just leave my tribe; they are my friends, my family...why are you doing this now? Are you afraid of me reading the future? Are you afraid I might learn something?"

"No," she said a little too quickly.

"Pitichu, if you know something tell me now," I said firmly.

She kissed me, long and hard. We heard the children giggling and broke apart. The girls were blushing and whispering to one another. The boys looked sick. Utlupa was pointing at us. "Dey kiss, dey kiss!"

I smiled at my son and looked back to Pitichu. "We will talk later." I kissed her cheek.

She said nothing as I left, but I could feel her watching me walk away. I gave Utlupa a kiss on the head before I left and continued on my way. Pitichu knew something and she was not telling me. What was it? I always had the feeling she knew lots of things and was not telling me.

It was almost three years ago I discovered it had been Aki who had convinced his father not to kill her. Everyone thought he had spared her out of the goodness of his heart. What would make him kill her? Taha Loki had always been a kind and caring man like his son. He had tolerated a lot of Pitichu's behavior too.

Then there was that little talk she and Aki had at the funeral pyre.

"It may be for the best Aki. Who knows with all the tribes united we could stand against greater threats from distant lands."

I knew there was some underlying message there, but I had never inquired further. Maybe now would be a good time.

All the spirit warriors had gathered with the elders to go over the big meeting. We were going over who would go with Aki and who would stay behind.

It was already a given I was going to go; now we just had to figure out which of the elders would go and how many more spirit warriors should go. Some of the elders were causing thing to go slowly because they did not want Aki to go.

It was common knowledge Vakatel was barren. The elders have been talking about Aki bending the rules and taking another wife. As the chief he is allowed at least eight wives. He was the only living Taha and it was important for him to have children (Particularly sons).

They feared something would happen to him and the blood line of the Taha's would be lost. It hurt Vakatel to not be able to give Aki any children and to hear the elders suggest he take another to his bed was like salt in her wounds. She already felt like she was defective.

Her greatest fear was Aki would leave her for another woman. Or have some girl show up claiming to have had Aki's child. Aki did his best to appease her but with everyone going on how an heir was needed it was a tough job.

It was his right to have more then one wife, the rest of us could only have one, but he could have at least eight. His father had three but the one wife died of child birth and the baby followed her and the other died of sickness. Aki could have more wives to bear his children but he belonged to Vakatel mind, body and soul.

It was not law for him to have lots of wives, just a privilege. But it was a privilege he did not want.

"I tell you we should not endanger Taha Aki," one of the elders said.

"I am the chief, I must go. I have spent years trying to bring peace to the other tribes, if I don't go it will send the message we are scared," Aki said.

"But if you die then-"

"Then I expect you all too properly mourn me and select a new chief. And if I hear even the slightest suggestion of taking another wife I will summon a horde of bats to shit all over your hut am I understood?"

Aki's face had gone hard and deadly serious. He was a goofball, wise, and a good man, but he was also the chief and you are not the chief if you are a push over. And Aki was no push over.

"I did not mean to offend Taha Aki. But these are times of war, people are dying every day. What would we do if you died? Who would lead with the wisdom and strength you and your forefathers have ruled with?"

"We are at the crux my friends, now is the time of great change for our people. If we do not move carefully we could bring pain and danger to our tribe," Aki said.

"Then how will we know what course of action to take? Our actions may be benign but if we do not tread carefully this meeting could go sour really quick," Yut said.

"There may be a way," I said.

All eyes turned to me. "Utlapa if you have a suggestion please we are more then eager to hear," Aki said with a smile.

I smiled back and took a deep breath, knowing what I was about to say was not going to be well received. "As Taha Aki said we are at the Crux. The future is bleak and uncertain; the tribes are waging war on one another and threaten to bring the rest, us included in on it. But maybe we need not worry about the future; maybe all we need is a little bit of foreknowledge."

"What do you mean?" Aki asked. His face was calm and collected like a good chief's, but his eyes had a spark of knowing.

"I mean since it is the future we fear, maybe we should look it right in the eyes and relieve ourselves of this fear. I suggest we use our magic and peer into the future."

The result was instantaneous. The hut exploded with protests and shouts.

"No!"

"It is forbidden!"

"Are you mad!"

"Maybe he has a point."

"These are desperate times."

"But the law."

"It was forbidden for a reason."

"The ends justify the means."

"If it can help bring peace why not?"

So many voices, so many ideas like wind shrieking during a storm. Only Aki and I were silent, our eyes locked. "Enough!" he roared, his voice over powering the others. The hut quieted down. Aki never broke eye contact with me. "Utlapa you know it is forbidden."

"Yes, by your father. But you are the chief now Taha Aki, your word is law. Merely allow us to use the old magics to see into the future and we can use the knowledge we learn to our advantage."

"The future is ever changing and shifting. Our choices give it shape and substance; we must make the choices not the future. It must be our will that gives the future shape. That was one of the reasons why Taha Loki forbade the use of that branch of magic. To many people would see the future and see themselves doing something and just do it because they saw themselves doing it," Yut said.

"Plus it take a strong mind and an unbending will to navigate the future," Hot said.

"But with seven spirit warriors I am sure it would be easy," I said.

"No, it is too dangerous," Aki said, "Like Yut said we can not look to the future. Our ancestors faced worse then this and they did not use foresight."

"Then what if the meeting goes bad? What if the Kathlamet or the Nez Perce declare war on us?" I asked.

"They would not dare," Jakopala said, "For years our tribe has been revered for the powers of the spirit warrior. A power only we can brag of. A power that has kept us safe and has allowed us to thrive, all these years no tribe has dared to raise a hand against us for fear of us unleashing our spirit warriors against them. If we can not get the others to agree to peace then it is a sad thing, but a thing we need not fear harming us."

"But we have been friends with the Kathlamet and the Nez Perce for generations, how can we just sit back and watch as they kill one another and drag the Makah's and the Hoh in as well?" Belnopa asked.

"There would be no need to watch if we forced there obedience," I said.

The hut went deadly silent. "Utlapa what do you mean?" one of the elders demanded.

"I mean what is the point of having all this power if all were going to do is do nothing with it?"

"That is heresy!" Molak growled, "We use this power to protect the tribe."

"Protect it from what? It is like Jakopala said; no tribe dares raise a hand against us. All we do with it is make sure the weather does not get to severe and predict when the best time to plant the crops and when the best time to hunt whales and fish. We can do so much more with it; we could make a difference not just to the tribe but to the whole world."

"Utlapa we have already gone over this," Aki said.

"Yes we have but not with the elders and other spirit warriors," I said defiantly.

Aki's eyes narrowed. I knew what I was doing was going to hurt my friend but I had to do this two years and no change. I am sorry Aki but a new course of action is needed.

"What are you two speaking of?" Yut asked.

I told them my idea. To my surprise some actually seemed to mull this idea over, others how ever had no problem verbalizing their anger over my suggestion.

"That is blasphemy!" one of the elders shouted.

"That is the truth," I said. "Lets face it, if we were one giant tribe instead of all these broken clans things would run a lot smoother. We need not worry about wars and imagine what we could accomplish as a larger tribe. With the resources of the Hoh and Quinault and the Makah we could be the foundations of a new great tribe who could expand across the land, adding tribe after tribe to our group. Just think of what we could do?"

They all took it in some shook their heads in disfavor, others I saw a glint of something like wonder or desire.

"No! This power was meant to protect, not dominate. If we begin to use it in such a way we are no better then the invaders who Kahaleha and the other spirit warriors fought off all those years ago," Aki said.

"Taha Aki is right; we are protectors of the tribe. We protect not conquer," Yut said.

"The time may come when that may change Yut," I said.

"Not that, that will never change," he said.

"Things change; it is the way of the world."

"Enough, I will hear no more of this," Aki said.

We continued to talk about the coming meeting. I kept quiet the rest of the time, having spoken my words, pleased to know I did have members of the elders and spirit warriors who agreed with my idea.

The meeting concluded and I was on my way out the door when Aki stopped me, "Utlapa a word."

"Someone's in trouble," Hot jeered.

I ignored him and waited until every one left. Soon it was just me and Aki and I knew this was going to be a serious talk. We stood facing one another not talking. "That was a very ballsy thing you just did Utlapa."

"I did what I felt was necessary."

"You called me out in front of the elders."

"Because you would not hear me out."

"I heard you out and I decided it was to offensive to bring to the council."

"I seem to recall some of them thinking it was a good idea."

We stood there glaring at one another. As much as I loved Aki I was mad. Mad that he was not seeing things my way, mad at the other tribes for starting this pointless war, mad that I was forced to consider breaking the rules, just mad in general.

"Do you have any idea what you are doing Utlapa? You are talking about us using our powers to conquer others; do you know what that means? Enslaving others to our will, forcing them to do as we say. That is not what we were meant to do."

"We have slaves. How many times did we take captives from tribes we fought? How many families in our tribe have a slave? They are a part of our tribe to, they have the same rights as their masters, and they are treated as members of the family they serve. My own mother was a slave and my father married her. We are not killing them, simply adding them on to our tribe."

"We are not talking about a small group of people we are talking about entire tribes! Families, friends. We are talking about forcing entire tribes to do as we say. Using our sacred powers in such a way would only lead us down a darker path; it would only be a matter of time before we start using it for darker purposes."

"We don't want to use it for dark purposes though."

"We didn't want to use it to conquer other tribes and look where we are now."

"Not conquer Aki, unify."

"And what of the tribes who do not want to unify Utlapa? That's what I am saying. You cannot expect all the tribes to agree to this. It calls for to much trust and faith to put into. We cannot ask this of them."

"Then if they cannot see things our way then maybe we should force their obedience."

"What happened to you? Of all the people I thought would think such things you were not even on the list. To think you of all people are thinking about breaking the rules."

"I became a father; I do not want to see my son grow up, caught in a war that has nothing to do with him."

"Well maybe you should talk to his mother about selling magical weapons to the tribes."

"Well maybe you should have dealt with her like you were supposed to!"

"Then maybe I should do what my father wanted and kill you!" The hut went silent after that. Aki's face went slack with shock at his own words. "Utlapa, I am sorry."

"No, I am sorry Aki. Sorry it had to come to this." I turned and left. I heard him calling my name but I ignored him. If he wanted to sit back and do nothing fine let him. I can not wait to see his face when I deliver salvation right into his lap.

The art of future seeing was forbidden but we still had writings that told what to do. Those writings are of course forbidden, kept hidden and protected by the shaman. It was tricky but I managed to grab them. I made forgeries of them and put them in place of the original scrolls so when the shaman returned he would not notice their absence.

I was on patrol duty tonight so I would not be missed. It would also give me the time I needed to do the ceremony. I found the most secluded place I could. It was night time and I started a fire. I was not too worried for privacy for I knew if anyone saw the fire they would know it was me. They knew to leave me alone; they would figure I was in a dark mood and figure it best to leave me alone.

Once the fire was bright I carefully looked around. I used my eagle vision to inspect the surrounding area, once I saw the others were still at their posts and no one else was around to stumble upon me...and what I was about to do.

I pulled out the pouch with the herbs that I needed. Some had been easy to obtain, the shaman keeps a store of them for some rituals. Others I obtained from the forest, others I had to look around for. I carefully read the scroll like ten times, just to be safe. Had I been with someone else I would not have worried so much, but I was alone, if something went wrong I was on my own. But it was best I do this alone, I will not have another share my shame, and this is my burden to bear. Mine and mine along.

I began to chant the words; magic began to fill the air. I felt it swirl around me; I began to feel light headed. A sign the spell was working. I took a stick and dipped it into the fire, I pulled it out and when the magic was at its peak I tapped the fire into the bowl of herbs. They instantly caught fire and a thick smoke rose from the bowl. I inhaled the vapors despite the smell making want to gag.

I took three deep breaths then put the bowl down. The world was beginning to move around me. It was getting more and more hazy; soon I left the world behind me. I closed my eyes and became lost in white.

I floated above my body; I looked like I was asleep. I cursed myself for leaving myself open, I had not taken in the fact some way word wolf or bear could find me asleep and devour me. Not to mention I had left evidence of my transgression for all to see.

Before I could go back to my body I began to float further above, something far away was calling me. I floated above the woods, I could see La Push, and I could see Pitichu's hut as well as many other tribes. I saw how truly vast the land was, soon I was further up then the clouds.

I saw the world in all its glory; I saw all the lands in all their unique shapes and patterns. I saw all the blue oceans and the green seas. But something still pulled me further back, soon the blue orb of the earth became smaller and smaller, I saw the sun in the distance, to my surprise there were other worlds like earth, but none of them had the thick life the blue world had.

I passed one world as red as my skin, instead of having the smooth white orb for a moon like we had it had two small misshapen ones. Soon it to was a small dot and I passed other worlds, some were nothing more then gas, so large you could fit hundreds of earths in them, my mind was amazed by the beauty the gases made, the colors, the shapes. One of the gaits had a beautiful ring of small rocks around it.

Further and further back this force pulled me, I could no longer see the earth, I passed many other planets, some as large as the gas giants some smaller then earth, some had no life, others teemed with it. I saw all kinds of stars, some glowed with a white light, others were millions times bigger then ours and glowed red. I saw nebulas and gas formations that would make you weep to behold.

I saw black tears in reality that pulled everything in, even the light, I saw white orbs that gushed energy and matter.

Further and further I was pulled. Soon all the stars and planets condensed into a giant sprawling white mass of light, like sand. There were other swirling lights as well, hundreds, thousands, millions, billions. My mind was unable to count them all, so many shapes, so many colors.

Soon I began to leave the world of the physical and traveled through the metaphysical. I passed the spirit world, after that I passed through worlds that I can not even begin to describe, some held such horrors, others had such wonders. All these worlds I passed were inhabited, some took notice of me showing as much interest as a man takes interest in a fly, others didn't care to notice me at all, which I was grateful for.

All the things I saw were tearing at my mind. The confusion tore at me, lack of understanding threatened to drive me into madness. I steeled myself and endured. Soon I felt like a great burden lift from my mind and before I knew it I was no where.

I could not feel, nor taste, nor smell, but I could still see. I was in a vast white emptiness. Was this the future? I did not understand where was I? I had a body; I inspected my hands and my legs. I took a step forward and although my mind did not register anything solid it still felt like I was taking a step.

"Hello?" I called.

No response.

I took a few more steps and looked around, still nothing but white. I was neither warm nor cold. I tried to use my power but to my shock found I could not. What was going on? Where was I?

You are in the void. A voice spoke. It was not like the speech I had heard before. There was no sound; there was no use of air and lungs to make throat sounds.

I turned and found I was no longer alone. A boy stood before me, he was young in the early stages of manhood. His face was a little feminine for a man's face. His skin was most odd, instead of being the russet red it should have been or even the tanner shade of some it was white like snow. His eyes were a deep scarlet red, looking into them sent chills down my spine, his hair was black like a ravens.

His cloths were odd as well. He wore white, but half his chest was exposed and the other half covered by a white cloth tight in a knot. Green leaves and sticks were wrapped around his head like a crown.

Behind him were images of him. I say images because they were like spirits, shadowy, flickering. But they were all of him. Some were of a younger version of him; those ones had Grey eyes and skin that was slightly pinker. Some images showed him older with Grey eyes. There were images of him as he is now, only wearing different cloths, some were different though, one image of him had red milky eyes and his skin was like paper, another showed him with golden eyes, another with milky golden. Some images looked happy, others angry, others looked scared, sad, confused.

: Who are you? Where is this?

: I told you the void.

: Void?

: Think the bottom floor, outside of time, space, eternity and infinity. Outside of creation and reality.

: Why am I here?

: You seek knowledge of the future do you not?

: Yes:

: Then this is where you look. From hear you can see the infinite possibilities of destiny,: he pointed to the shadow versions surrounding him, :That what they are, they are me, the me's I was, the me's I could have been, the me's I could be and might be and will be. Time has no meaning here. But it clings to us like a second skin because in our world time exists, and by product so do fate and destiny.

: I do not understand, am I dead?

: No, but you have left creation. Or you're mind has. You're body is anchored back in creation.

: You use words I do not understand. Void? Creation? Where is the future? Is this it?

: I told you time has no meaning here, there is no past and no present and no future. As to who I am my name is Ekion, I have been here for a long time.

: Do you live here?

: In a way, like you my mind exists here but my body still exists in creation:

: Are you lost?

: No, I know where I am. I just exist on multiple planes at once. A bit inconvenient but it works.

: What tribe are you from? I have never seen skin so pale nor eyes so red.:

: I am of no tribe really; I come from a land beyond the sea, though my people exist all around the world.

I looked to my side; I found I too was surrounded by shadow versions of myself. My could have beens, my might be'. There were so many, more then what Ekion had.

: I would like to devour you, I imagine you must have good blood, but you are just a spirit and could offer me no nourishment. Plus you must have some power to have reached it here, I also sense you have an important role to play so I will leave you to you're own devices.

He turned and began to walk away. : Wait can you help me? I seek knowledge of the future?

: Knowledge is a heavy burden, simply stare into the heart of creation, but is resolved for if your mind wonders you may wind up in a destination you would best avoid. Remember in this place thought and will give shape.

He disappeared swallowed by the white. : But where is creation?

: All around.

I looked around for him, for anything or anyone. But I was alone. My only company was my shadow selves. Creation is all around? What did he mean? I always hated cryptic advice all mysterious and not very helpful. Just like my father, he was full of it.

It was funny, I had not thought of him in a long time. But hear in the void with its absolute quiet and stillness my mind seemed more at ease. I remembered him and the world went from white, to a dark memory of my past.

We were in the woods. It was a few weeks after the new spirit warriors were chosen. Training was done for the other boys, except for me. Father had me in the woods giving me his own personal training.

I had taken the blindfold off and was nursing my face where a bruise was already beginning to form. Father had been trying to develop my eagle vision and had tied a cloth to my head so I could not see. I was supposed to dodge his strikes but even if I saw them coming he was so much faster then me.

"What do you think you are doing?" he demanded.

"My face hurts, you hit me too hard," I said.

"Stop complaining!" he spat. "You are a spirit warrior now, not a whining child."

"You're to fast for me, you are taller and stronger and you're limbs are longer then mine, even if I see you coming how am I supposed to dodge you?"

"And when you are fighting for real against an enemy who wants to kill you are you going to admit they are stronger and faster then you?"

"No, I will fight them. Please father can we go home, I am tired, all the other boys have gone home to rest, so must I."

His face was hard. "I would think you would be ashamed a mere girl is better then you, but if you want to be third best that is fine, no meals for you tonight."

"But father," I began.

"No, if you want to be third rate then you will live third rate, no son of mine will be bested by a girl." he turned his back to me and left me, not caring if I followed him or not.

I stayed where I was, not wanting to be around him when he was in one of his moods. I squeezed the blindfold in my hand. I was only seven but I was beginning to already feel an emotion I would feel throughout my entire life. Hate.

I pulled back from the memory. What was that? How did that happen? I merely thought of my father and it was like I was reliving that day. I remember what Ekion said about thought and will, I was beginning to understand what he mean.

I began to focus on something else, anything but my father, I thought of Pitichu and the world changed to show the day when I first spoke to her.

We were all given the day off. Normally I would still be training with father but he was off hunting so I was using this chance to relax with my friends. Aki was going on and on how he was the strongest and the best.

"Well duh, you are of the Taha's it's in your blood to be the best," Hot said.

We were away from the village, on the beach, away from the adults. Aki stood tall and proud, grinning like the idiot he is.

"Careful hot, any more praise and his head will get fatter then a whale's ass," I said.

Aki shot me a glare as the rest of us laughed. "Don't be jealous because I am better then you Utlapa."

"Please," I grinned, "I could fight you with my eyes closed."

"Oh yeah? Prove it," he said with a smile.

I smiled back and the others began to cheer. The formed a circle around us as me and Aki prepared. We had done this many times before, wrestled or fought as boys do. This was no different. We were friends but we were also rivals, constantly provoking or challenging one another. Testing each other, helping the other find and push past their limits. It was childish yes, but it was necessary, it was my desire to keep up with Aki that helped drive me to become better, that and my father's ruthless training.

I closed my eyes and tapped into my power. Eagle vision was an old power that allowed one to see things from far away even if you close you're eyes useful in many ways.

I dodged Aki's fist and blocked another. I went to make a kick but he docked it. "Wow Utlapa, if this is what you are like with your eyes closed maybe your eagle vision should be called duck vision."

"Shut up!"

We continued to fight while the others watched and cheered. Already making bets on who would win. I went to hit Aki when my eagle vision spotted something, or rather someone. I was only distracted for a moment but it was all Aki needed. He grabbed my arm and twisted so I fell to the ground and had a mouthful of sand in my mouth.

"I win!" Aki cheered.

I angrily got up; humiliated I had let myself get distracted. "No fair I was distracted!"

"By what?" he asked.

"By her!" I pointed to a nearby rock.

"Utlapa...it's a rock," Aki said.

"I know that you idiot, I mean what's behind the rock! Come out Pitichu."

I heard a squeak of surprise. A small figure moved out from behind the rock, it was Pitichu, she held a small doll in her hand. "How did you know I was watching?" she asked.

"My eagle vision spotted you. What are you doing? Why aren't you playing with the other girls?" I asked.

She clutched her doll close. "They don't want to play with me," she said.

"Yeah because you're a freak," Jakopala said.

Her face flushed in anger. "I am not a freak!"

"Yes you are, that's why none of the girls want to play with you, and my sister told me. Everyone knows about your freaky powers and don't want to be around you."

"You're one to talk, you have freaky powers too!"

"Yeah but were men, we are supposed to be strong in magic, women are only good for seeing the future and being good at medicine."

"What would you know about being a man? You don't even have any hair on your balls!" Pitichu growled at him.

A sudden hush fell over the group. Pitichu was entering dangerous territory. "I do to have hair on my balls!" Jakopala shouted.

"You're only eight, it's impossible for you to have hair on your balls."

Jakopala undid his belt and before we could stop him pulled his breechcloth down, exposing himself to the world. He stood proud, showing Pitichu his manhood. Pitichu was not impressed. She began to giggle uncontrollably and Jakopala got angry. "What's so funny?" he demanded.

"How can I see hair on your balls if their so small?"

We could not help but burst into laughter. Jakopala pulled his breechcloth back up, his eyes were murderous. "Stupid Hoh half breed!"

Pitichu looked like she had been slapped in the face. "What did you call me?"

"I call you a stupid Hoh half-breed. Everyone knows that's the only reason why you are alive. The elders arranged the marriage between your parents and that is the only reason you are alive."

"That's enough Jakopala," Aki said firmly.

Pitichu's face was scrunched up, her lips were pouting. Tears had begun to form in her eyes and were starting to fall. She angrily wiped her tears away and glared at Jakopala. "Good luck trying to grow hair on your balls now."

Before we could inquire to what she meant Jakopala's breechcloth caught fire. He screamed in horror and dropped to the ground, rolling around until the fire was gone, and then quickly pulled off his burnt breechcloth. Pitichu ran before anything else could happen, dropping her doll in the process. We took Jakopala to Ta'longa to treat his burns. He would be fine. Some slight burns on his thighs, luckily his crotch was okay. When he asked how the fire got started we lied and said we were practicing magic when we fooled around and started a fire.

We lied of course, for Jakopala's sake. It was bad enough we had to take him through the village without any pants to cover himself, but if it was discovered a girl did it to him it would only add to his shame.

So we lied and listened to Ta'longa lecture us about abusing magic and not having him or one of the spirit warriors there to over see us and promised to tell our fathers. We groaned, knowing we were going to get a real talking to by our fathers.

As the others headed home I headed back for the beach. I don't know why I did. I wasn't ready to go home and wait for father to come home. Then have to hear how I am a disappointment and will never amount to anything. I passed by where the incident went down and saw Jakopala's breechcloth, or what was left of it.

I found Pitichu's doll, still lying in the sand. I picked it up and looked at it. It was just like any doll a mother would make for their child. For the first time I felt something for her I had yet to feel before pity. Jakopala had over stepped himself. But what he said was true, the other girls had heard that Pitichu had great power and their parents told them she was dangerous, so they avoided her and as a result of their parents warnings they could be cruel to her.

But it was wrong to fear her, after all I and the others were capable of such things as her. But the other children loved us and envied us. But not Pitichu, she was just a half breed freak. I could not blame her for attacking Jakopala. I would have done the same thing had I been here. It was one thing to suspect people of not liking you, but to have someone tell you to your face and disrespect your lineage was a whole new offense.

Using my eagle vision I found her not to far away in the woods. I used my power to find her, but I was careful. I had no idea what mood she was in and I wanted to one day grow hair on my balls. As I snuck closer I could hear her sobbing. She also appeared to be talking to someone.

"Didn't mean...was being a jerk...can't help...I am...wish I could run away."

I peeked behind a tree and saw she was talking to air. Strange girl. "Who are you talking to?" I asked.

She jumped and spun around. I stayed hidden behind the tree in case I needed it as a shield. "What are you doing here? Where are the others? Are they hiding, waiting to jump out and attack me?"

"Don't be stupid, why would we attack an unarmed girl? Spirit warriors don't do that," I said.

"I may not have a knife or a club but I am not unarmed," she said darkly.

I remembered how Jakopala's breechcloth suddenly caught flame. "I know."

"So why are you hear? Did the adults send you to fetch me?"

"No. We told Ta'longa we had been practicing with magic and we goofed off."

"Why would you do that?"

"Because if word got out that Jakopala had his cloths set fire by you it would hurt his pride."

"Oh...so why are you here?" she asked again.

I stepped from behind the tree and took a few steps toward her. "To give you this," I said holding up her doll.

Her face brightened and I felt the unease in my chest dissipate. She looked so pretty when she smiled. "I thought I had lost that, I was going to look for it later on the beach."

I handed it over to her and out fingers brushed. We looked at one another and looked away. "So who were you talking to?"

"A friend," she said.

"A friend?" I asked.

"Yeah, only I can see him. He's really big and strong, he was lonely but I talk to him and now we're best friends, he's my only friend. He doesn't care that I'm a half breed or I have strong magic, he likes me for me." she looked sad again.

"I don't care what you are either," I said.

She looked at me, her face was surprised. "Really?"

"Really. I think you were right to do that to Jakopala. If someone talked bad of my blood I would hurt them."

"I didn't mean to hurt him, I just got so mad at him and I want to wipe that stupid smirk off his face." she clutched her doll close. "I hate them all. Except mother, Taha Loki, Aki, Ta'longa and I guess you."

"What about your father?"

"What about him?" she asked bitterly, "He is always away from home, only coming back to eat, sleep then he's gone. He gets mad at me when ever I use my magic, accidental or not. He doesn't allow me to draw or weave any more because he doesn't want me to draw the future. He always goes on how he wishes he had a son. He's mean to my mother and...and."

Tears began to form in her eyes again; my pity for her grew again. "My father is mean to me as well. He trains me in magic until I am black, blue and bleeding. No matter what I do he always says I am second best and I will never be great."

"Well with pep talk like that no wonder," she said.

"So why do you like the Taha's and the shaman and me?" I asked.

"Well Taha Loki always smiles at me and never looks at me like the other adults do, like I am a pest they wish would go away. Aki keeps the others from bullying me when he is around and like his father he smiles at me, Ta'longa has been teaching me how to better control my powers. He tells me I am not a freak that I have a gift from Q'wati and that is a good thing. I spend a lot of time with him, learning all I can. He tells me lots of stories. You...well you have never been mean to me, and you did just bring back my doll."

"Well I didn't think you would be happy if you lost it," I said rubbing the back of my head.

She smiled and I blushed. She walked up to me until I could see her black eyes up close. "Thank you Utlapa. Don't listen to your father; I don't think you are second best."

She leaned forward and before I knew it she planted a wet kiss right on my cheek. She giggled and ran off. I did not stop her, I just stood there, my hand touching the cheek that she kissed, which seemed so much warmer now

The memory dissolved into white. I smiled fondly, remembering my childhood brought back a nice feeling in my heart.

: Well met stranger.

I turned and saw Ekion. He was different, his eyes were now the color of amber, he wore different white cloths, golden ringlets were wrapped around his arms and he still wore the leaves and twigs in his hair. He still had his shadow selves around him.

: Well met Ekion, you are different, the cloths and the eyes, I said.

: Yes, my brothers and I have become famous amongst our people; they come to us asking for advice and wisdom. They pay us in cloths, gold, jewels, and the usual. As for my eyes I discovered a new food source for my kind. It has helped me and my clan reclaim some of our humanity. They want to go to our leaders and show them. He looked uneasy when he said this.

: What is wrong? I asked.

: I fear it will not go well. I have tried to warn my family but I am afraid my body back in creation isn't the most sensible. But it has been centuries since I saw you Utlapa. How has you're quest been?

: Centuries? I asked frantically.

How could it have been centuries? I have only been here for minutes? What of my body back home? Had it been found? Had it aged to dust? Was I dead?

: Fear not Utlapa. Remember there is no time here, no past, no present, and no future. For you it has been minutes since we last met, for me it has been centuries, Ekion said.

: Then how long has it been on back home?

: An eternity, a second. A whole life time can pass here in the time it take for a heart to beat.

: I am beginning to understand what you meant by this place being shaped by thought and will. I have already had two visions of my past.

: In the void we all share the same past, present and future. I will leave now; we are preparing to go see the Romanians. I hope to meet you again and both our missions are successful.

He disappeared again leaving me alone and to my thoughts. I began to focus on my desire for knowledge of the future. I focused and concentrated. But to my sorrow my mind was still on Pitichu. For you see in my mind I wanted to know the future, but I had many questions that my heart wanted to answer.

Pitichu stood before the elders. She was much older now. She was guarded on either side. I knew this was the day she had been banished. I had not been in the village that day, I was off hunting. I saw Taha Loki, next to him was Aki.

The mood was somber and tense. Taha Loki then spoke. "Pitichu, you stand accused of breaking our most sacred laws. You have abused your magic, you have slept with men who have wives, you have been caught spirit walking which is forbidden for a woman to do, but most of all you have broken the law I myself placed, you have ventured into the future."

Surprise ran wild in me. Pitichu had broken the law I myself am breaking? I knew of her other charges but I never knew. Why didn't she tell me?

"Yes, I have done all I am accused. I am not ashamed by what I have done," Pitichu said, her eyes blazing with defiance.

"Why have you done these things Pitichu? And I suggest you be more gracious. You're life hangs in the balance," Taha Loki said.

"All my life I have had great potential, but because of some stupid law that does not allow it I was never taught my full potential. Why should I be held back while you're sons are given the best education?"

"Because that is the law there has never been a woman born with magic as strong as yours in our tribe and there has never been a spirit warrior who was a woman. Being a warrior is a man's job not a woman's," Taha Loki said.

"Well forgive me Taha Loki but I find that unfair. So yes I watched your sons as they were taught magic, I watched closely and in secret taught myself." her eyes shined with great pride. "And I learned how to spirit walk as your sons do."

"What have you to say about your indiscretions with the men?" Taha Loki asked.

"Is it so wrong for a woman to have a healthy sex life? Every day I hear the men brag about their sexual conquests and it is something they pride themselves on. But I do the same and I am called whore and slut."

"Some of the men you have lain with were married."

"They came to me. If they truly loved their wives they would have staid faithful but I found them handsome and they were sweet enough to me so why not?"

"They were married; you violated the sanctity of their marriages. You even bore a child out of the union of your affair."

"Yes, my son Kon is the result of an affair, but he is still mine and I love him with all my heart. Tell me why am I the only one who is on trial? Where are the men who came to me willingly?"

"They are not on trial, you are."

"Of course, and yes I did look into the future. Why? Because it was forbidden. I wanted to see why. I wanted to know the real reason you forbade it Taha Loki. Imagine my horror when I saw what I did." she glared at the elders. "You call yourselves our protectors but you are all hypocrites. A bunch of sad aging old men who are unable to change or do what needs to be done!"

One of the elders stepped forward, it was Mohata. He drew his hand back and struck her across the face. She fell to the ground and moaned in pain, blood trickled from a cut on her lip and her face was red where he struck her.

"Silence!" Mohata roared. "You were a mistake; you should have never been born! I curse the day I brought you into this world, you are no daughter of mine! You are a shame and a disgrace; I cast you out of my home and my life, and take that bastard child with you!"

I thought Pitichu would cry. Instead her eyes filled with a fierce fire and she stood up and put her face close to her fathers, her teeth bared like a wolves. "You will regret that for the rest of your life old man. My mother was too good for you, why she ever loved a bastard like you I will never understand."

Mohata raised his hand back to strike her again. Then stopped. Pitichu unleashed her power. Even in this vision I could feel it. She was stronger then me. Mohata looked shocked as did many of the other elders.

"Strike me if you dare, but if you do I promise it will be the last thing you do," Pitichu said her eyes cold as night. "I am no longer the small child who cowered at the face of your wrath, those days are long gone."

"Enough!" Taha Loki shouted. His power hit them like a ton of rocks. Pitichu was strong, but compared to the power of the Taha's her power is but a single drop in a vast storm.

"Pitichu, as much as I would like to see this resolved peacefully you have broken to many laws...the punishment is death."

Pitichu look scared now. "No! Please I have a son now, who will look after him? Certainly not him." she pointed to Mohata. "Nor his father, he will not take in a bastard child from an affair."

"I am sorry Pitichu...it must be done. Bring her forward."

The guards grabbed her and began to drag her forward. She fought them but they were to strong for her, she tried to summon her magic but the others were using their power to dampen hers. "No please, Mohata, Mohata please I am still your daughter! You owe me this! You owe my mother, you owe your grandson."

Mohata turned his back to her.

"Damn you! You bastard! You killed me; remember that, you killed me!"

She was knelled in front of Taha Loki. She looked up at him defiantly, but tears still shined in her eyes. "Forgive me child, if there was another way."

He brought his hand up and I knew what he was going to do. I knew Taha Loki had the power to kill with a touch. He could heat the blood until it boiled; it was a very painful and messy way to die.

He was about to place his hand on her head when Aki touched his shoulder. "Father, maybe there is another way."

Taha Loki looked at his son. I saw Mohata glance behind his shoulder; I swear I saw a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "Aki, if you have a suggestion I am all ears."

"Let us not soil ourselves in death. Instead of killing her let us banish her from our land. Let the Hoh have her, her mother was of their people, I am sure they would love to have her," Aki said.

"My son, she has seen the future, if she goes and tells what she saw."

"Then we'll bind her under oaths and magic. Make it so it will be impossible for her to tell what she has learned. We all must take responsibility for what she has become."

The elders began to protest.

"It is true, I remember growing up and hearing you speak ill of her because her mother was Hoh and she had powers. I remember your children making fun of her and calling her a dirty half breed. I remember all the times she cried and none of you cared to help her with her troubles. Had we actually treated her as a member of the Quileutes and not an out cast or a freak maybe this would not have happened? Do not try and dodge your guilt elders, you know I speak true."

The elders said nothing as Aki spoke. "Does anyone object to Aki's idea?" Taha Loki asked. No one objected. "Very well, Pitichu you and your son are no longer of this tribe. We banish you; before you go you'll be bound under oaths you can not break. Do you understand?"

She smiled and began to laugh. "Banish me? You can not banish me from a tribe I was never welcomed in. But if it means I can stay with my son then yes I agree. In fact I welcome this exile. Maybe now I can finally find happiness."

I pulled back once more. So that was how it happened. Why didn't she tell me she had seen the future? Of course, she was oathed. It would be impossible for her to tell me if magic was involved. But why didn't Aki or the other elders tell the rest of us? What had she seen to make her hate the elders so vehemently?

The sound of sobbing made me turn. There was Ekion, his clothes were stained with mud and they were ripped and torn. : They are dead, he said.

: Who? What happened to you?

: Two of my brothers and my father and mother. We went to the Romanians and showed them our eyes, told them how animal blood could sustain us and help us stay civil. They mocked us, called us freaks and abominations. They tried to kill us. Only me and my two living brothers survived.

: What will you do now? I asked.

: Now we will seek a coven that is growing in Italy. They challenge the Romanians for authority over our people. They are many and have special powers. We will join them and help them wipe out the Romanians.

I noticed he had fewer shadow selves now. I found this odd. I still had the same number of shades as I had before. : I am sorry for your loss, I was not close to my father but still I mourned him when he died. I have a son and a...lover. If anything happened to them I don't know what I would do.:

He smiled but it was full of melancholy. : It is funny is it not? Love can make us great, but if we loose it can destroy us, or make us into something dark and ugly. I know why you seek knowledge of the future Utlapa. I read destiny and fate like a map. In the void such things do not exist go but from the void you can stare into the heart of time. If you stand still and open your mind it will flow through you like a river, you'll see everything that makes up our world, the physical, the metaphysical, the worlds of the living and the worlds of the dead. But there are things we are not meant to see Utlapa, go back home while you still can. If you continue forth it will lead you to ruin.

: I can not, I have too many questions now, and I must know these secrets that fill my life. I will continue forth and I will be sure to pray to Q'wati that your kin are safe and happy in the spirit world.

: I knew you would say that, but I still had to try. Thank you Utlapa for the prayer. He looked at my shadow selves. : You have much potential, so many paths you can take, but they grow darker and darker. I envy you mortals that. My kind don't have many more paths to take, we don't change easily see, a draw back of immortality. Good luck Utlapa, I will prey to my gods you will chose right...even though I know it will be pointless.

"Please tell me, how do I see the future, all I can see is the past.

"That is because the past is already written, the future is uncertain, ever changing, ever shifting. But there are some things that are fixed, meaning they are going to happen whether you want them to or not. Focus your mind, will the future to come to you, but make sure you keep which future you want in mind.

He began to disappear. : Will I see you again? I asked.

: Yes, one more time, it will be a very long time, and you will be a very different person.

He disappeared once again leaving me alone. I need to hurry; all this talk about no time and centuries passing in a heart beat is worrying me. I try to focus on the future, the next few days, the next few weeks, the next few months. I tried to focus on business; I tried to think of how the meeting would go, if Aki would be successful in trying to bring peace to the land.

But my curiosity could not be stopped. I had to know what she saw, I stopped trying to fight it and willed my mind to show me what Pitichu had seen, to know what she knows, to see what she saw.

I saw what she saw and for the first time in a long time, I felt true horror. I saw men like Ekion from a distant land come, I saw how the tribes to the far east greeted them like friends, I saw these pale faces bring with them fear, ignorance, the belief they are superior to us. Then I see them turn on us, stealing our land, we fight them, but they have weapons that use fire and metal, I see them use the disease from their lands as a weapon, I see many tribes wiped out, I see far in the future many tribe live but the land no longer belongs to us, if belongs to the pale faces.

I watch in horror as they tear down the beautiful trees and dam the rivers with rock and more metal, making giant buildings and shrines for greed and wealth. I watch as they hunt many animals into oblivion, some wiped out because they tear down their land, they use their fur and skin as cloths, but not as some thing to keep them warm, but something to show off their vanity.

I saw the beautiful sky blackened with smoke from the giant huts of metal. I saw their trash littered everywhere. I saw them bring with them such evils and horror with them. I see the tribes suffer great indignity and injustice. I see the pale faces recruit us for their wars, not giving us a choice to fight or not.

I see them steal our children and put them in schools, giving them white man names, making them forget who they are and where they come from, brainwashing them and punishing them harshly when they resist.

Such suffering we will endure, such injustice. We offered them friendship and they will bite our hands. They will steal our land, rape our women and kill our children. They will think the color of their skin will make them better then us; they think us nothing more then dogs. And they call us savage.

No it is too much, the pain, the horror, the despair, the truth of it all. Pitichu had been right. She had been right about so many things.

I felt something pull on my body and soon the white disappeared only to be replaced by black filled with lights, before I knew it I was back in my body.

I opened my eyes.

Sunlight was pushing the darkness back. It was dawn. Something was trailing down my face. I felt it. Tears. I sat there for a few minutes, wallowing in my despair. Then another feeling soon made its way into my here. Rage.

Damn Taha Loki, damn Aki, damn the elders! Damn all of them! Is this what we are to do? Protect the tribe until the white men come? Why didn't we fight back? Why didn't we use our power to fight them?

All these years me and the people put our faith in the elders. Trusted them with our lives, and they have lied to us for all these years. We trusted them, I trusted them, and my father trusted them. All these years and they were betraying us. My life was nothing but a fucking joke.

Why didn't Aki do something? Because he is weak. Because he does not have what it takes to do what needs to be done...but I do. La Push needs a savior, the land needs a savior, if Aki won't be that savior, then I will be more than happy to fill his shoes.

Fusedtwilight: I think we all know what is next. Please review.