Supernova

The drive home was one of the quickest that the truck had ever made. All the while I knew that Charlie would have questions as to why I left in such a rush, and I also knew that Edward would be silently listening upstairs. I knew that I couldn't handle the both of them. I'd figure out a way. It was already close to sunset, and I knew that arriving home right now would make Charlie think I was going to be in for the evening. I pulled into the driveway. I'd figure out the rest soon enough.

"Hi dad," I said as I entered the house. He sat in front of the TV, eating some pizza. I grabbed a slice out of the box on the kitchen table and walk over to join him.

"Hey Bells, did you get to see Jacob?"

"Yes. He's pretty banged up. I think with a lot of rest he'll be just fine, but I'm worried because I can't picture him just staying still." I paused, thinking of the right way to bring it up. The pizza served as a good silence filler. "I think I'm going to go back out tonight. I'd like to talk with Alice for a little bit before tomorrow." I knew that using Alice as an excuse would hit Chalie's soft spot.

"Okay Bella, but don't stay out too late."

I finished my slice and wandered up the stairs at a rather slow pace. This must have thrown Edward off, as I usually bolted up the stairs.I walked into my room, refusing to look up at first, but when I did you could plainly see the concern streaming across his face.

"Bella, are you okay?"

"Yes. Can we go for a ride?"

He nodded once. I grabbed a different jacket and headed down the stairs. I waved at Charlie on my way out and made it over to the drivers side of the truck. As usual Edward assumed he was going to be driving. I opened the door and he slide across the seat, making room for me. I got in and strapped myself in. He kept on looking at me, even after I started to drive. This was going to be harder than I thought. I drove in silence to our meadow, or at least the foot path to the meadow.

"Are we going to the meadow?"

"No, but I needed a place that we could be absolutely alone. This was the closest thing I could think of." I paused and we both got out of the car. I walked a couple of feet into the woods, fond a fallen log to sit down on, and continued, "Edward. I love you more than life itself, you know that.."

"Bella please don't do this."

"I have to Edward. I can't live like this anymore. I love you more than any single thing, but it's not just any SINGLE thing that I'd have to give up to be with you. I'd have to give up EVERYTHING. Even if you didn't change me, being with me, watching me age as you didn't. It would make people suspicious. Finally as I got older, we'd have to live completely in secret. I just can't handle that. And if you were to change me, I'd have to give up my parents, my friends..."

"You mean your Jacob?" a bit of anger caused his voice to flare, "I heard Alice's mind when you were in La Push. She said she couldn't see you in my future anymore, and that she couldn't see your future at all. I should have killed him when I had the chance."

"No, Edward. Can't you see Jacob's a part of me like you once were. I can't let you back in because he's already there, and damn it I tried. I tried so hard to make us work. I wanted us to work. I love everything about you Edward, but you just don't fit anymore. It's not only about not having to give everything up. Jacob fixed me when I was broken, and I wasn't quite ready to love him when I had to go and save you from making the worse decision of your life. Now I think I am. I'm sorry Edward. I can't do this anymore."

I got up and ran towards my truck. Not once did I look back. I couldn't. I drove back, allowing the tears to stream down my face. At one point I had to pull over because I couldn't see. I pulled my truck into the driveway, and sat there letting it all come out. I think I must have worried Charlie, because soon there was a tap on my window. I jumped and screamed, then foolishly I used my sleeve to wipe away the fog off the window. Charlie saw the look on my face, then opened the door. I practically collapsed into his arms. He carried me into the living room without speaking and sat me down on the couch. He sat down with me and stroked my hair.

"Bella, what's wrong? What happened?"

"I.... broke.... up.... with.... Edward."

"Did he do something to you, because if he did..."

I gasped for the breath to explain, choosing my words selectively, "No dad, well yes, but nothing, really. I just had to realize what he had put me through in the past. I was living like that didn't make a difference or ever hurt me. And it did. I couldn't live with it anymore." I started bawling again.

He was silent after that. That's one thing that I've always loved about Charlie, he was willing to leave me my space. He just sat there, patting my hair, letting me cry until I passed out. When my eyes reopened I was on the couch by myself with a blanket pulled over me. I looked around and noticed Charlie asleep in the La-z-boy we had, which further encouraged the decision I had made. How would I have been able to give him up. He cared so much for me. I got up as quietly as I could and went upstairs to take a shower. Hopefully stuff would start to make sense after.


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When I got out, and got some new clothes on, I went downstairs. Everything from the previous night had been cleaned up and Charlie was waiting for me.

"Hi dad"

"Hey Bells, you feeling any better?"

I really appreciated his concern. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve him. "Yeah. I really needed to let it all out last night. Thank you for being there. That was exactly what I needed." Well not exactly, but since what I did need was incapacitated about 15 miles west of here, Charlie would do. I also had my suspicion that he was just relieved that I didn't slink into a slumper like the last time Edward and I had separated.

"No prob, Bella. I'm glad I can do something to you. The more you go on, the more I feel like you don't need me. I'm just happy I got to do something useful for once." I'm sure this wasn't the only reason he was happy- he hadn't hesitated to show his dislike of me getting back with Edward, and though he was finally starting to accept it, I'm almost certain he would have felt much better if it was Jacob I was with. Thank God the news of our engagement hadn't been spread around, that would have made this completely unbearable.

I went into the kitchen and got myself a cup of orange juice. "So I'm going to be heading down to the reservation this morning, you have any plans for today?"

Well I was going to go fishing with some of the guys down at the station, but after last night I canceled. I wanted to be around inncase if you needed me, but I'm sure the guys wouldn't mind if I showed up. I think I'll stop by our spot. Just make sure that you let Jacob get the rest he needs."

I swallowed the last of my juice, washed out my cup, and headed out the door.

I was so nervous on the way there, I swear it seemed like it took longer than it normally did. As I twisted and turned down the path that would eventually get me to Jacob's house I felt like a certain doom was inevitable, and while it might ot have been doom exactly, it twisted my stomach into knots, none the less. I was fighting back the acid of the orange juice as I stared at a particular black Mercedes parked in Jacob's driveway.

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Okay, so here's the deal. I can get these out quicker, with more ratings/reviews. The more input I get, the quicker you get more chapters. :)