She Sleeps

Chapter 3

​BPOV

I woke up the morning after the piano incident with a sense of purpose for the first time in a long time. I knew what I had to do. I had to hear the music again, even if it wasn’t his music. I heard footsteps outside my door and Matt opened it, he was carrying my food tray just like always.  “Good morning Bella. I have your breakfast here. The doctor has agreed that if you eat some of it you can go back to the rec room with the piano. Doesn’t that sound good? I will leave this here and be back in a half hour. Try and eat as much as you can.”

He left without looking back. I stared at the food and all I saw was a pile of mush. Everything was wrong and different since he left. I picked up the fork and took a bite of what I thought could pass as eggs. As I swallowed I couldn’t help but cringe and wait for the bad taste to hit. When it didn’t I opened my eyes, surprised. This wasn’t too bad. I took another bite and then another. I tried the eggs, hash browns, and toast. It wasn’t long before I was full. The food felt strange in my stomach. It was something I hadn’t felt in awhile.

When Matt came back, he was very satisfied with the amount of food I ate, even though it was less than a quarter of what I was given. “Very good Bella! You’re making progress. You can go to the rec room now if you want before your session.” He looked at me like I should be jumping up and down, when really I was terrified. If he thought I was making progress just because I ate a little solid food, he didn’t know as much as he thought. I was beyond broken. I had a giant hole in my chest that wouldn’t heal. And Matt had no idea the amount of pain I was in. But I just nodded my head like he expected me to.

I got off the bed slowly. He waited until I was even with him, then he put his hand on the small of my back as if to guide me out the door, but since the door was too small to fit two people across he let me go ahead. As I stepped forward his hand dropped lower and rested on my ass. If that wasn’t bad enough he gave it a squeeze. It happened so quickly that I thought maybe I could have been imaging things, but I knew I wasn’t.

I glared at him for a minute before continuing. I hope it was just an accident. Maybe he didn’t even realize what he did. Somehow this thought didn’t comfort me though. When we reached the rec room it was very quiet and the same girl from before was sitting in the corner with the same expression on her face. I still couldn’t place her. Matt told me he wouldn’t be far and left me to do whatever I liked. I moved to the piano and sat on the floor. It was quiet. If I stayed still enough I could almost hear the music I so longed to hear. I don’t know how long I stayed there, but Matt came to take me to my therapy session with Dr. Thomas.

As I entered his office, I looked around for the first time. The walls were full of books and awards and certificates. On his desk was a photograph of a young couple smiling at the camera. Their happiness was plain to see and just looking at it was like having all the air sucked out of me. I couldn’t breathe and I wrapped my arms around myself to hold myself together. None of this went unnoticed by Dr. Thomas. “Bella? Are you alright?”

I just nodded my head. I obviously wasn’t ok but I wasn’t going to tell him that. I wanted out of this place even if it did have a piano. After my session Charlie was coming to visit so I pulled myself together and sat down. He asked me the usual questions. How are you feeling? Do you want to talk about what happened? Can you explain why you reacted so poorly to the Cullens leaving? When we said their name I had to hold myself together again. I didn’t answer any of his questions. I just didn’t want to talk about it, or anything for that matter. The session ended without a word on my part. Matt came to walk me back to the rec room and when I got there someone was playing the piano again.

I just about ran to my corner. I don’t know how long I was there for when I noticed Charlie sit down next to me. “Bella?” I didn’t have to look at him to know the pained look on this face. I could hear it in his voice. “Bella, it’s me Dad.” I don’t know if it was the fact that he felt he had to remind me who he was or the shear agony in his voice, but I looked at him. I mean really looked at him for the first time since they left. “Dad?”