The Brother I Never Knew

The Brother I Never Knew

Chapter 32

fusedtwilight: Well here we are, part two of Jamie's little therapy session. In this chapter you will get jaspers p.o.v and you get to see some of Jamie's memories. A word of warning though there is child abuse in this chapter so if that isn't something you like then just skip it. Thanks to my beta animegirlkiki and my readers.

Jasper P.O.V

Jamie was a conundrum.

It wasn't like he was a wreck of emotions, no he was very calm. He wasn't nervous or fearful. It clung to him like a second scent. Even when he gave his little speech there was no sense of trepidation. Just calm and ease. But at the same time I could sense something more primal.

I knew right away that Jamie was suffering from some form of multiple personality disorder. I knew because when someone suffers from D.I.D (Dissociative identity disorder, for short) I can sense it because both personalities feel emotions. It doesn't matter which personality is active or not, they both feel. Jamie was like ice and fire in a single package. The ice calm was at odds with the fiery feelings I was feeling deep within him. I wonder if he was aware of this other presence? Usually people with D.I.D aren't aware they have the condition until the symptoms begin to manifest.

I have to say though I don't think I would want to meet the other personality. I was getting murderous intent from the other personality and it was focused on us. But the feeling I was getting from Jamie wasn't hostile at all. It was interesting; it was like logic versus instinct. Jamie was logic but his other self was all instinct. The other wolves weren't like this so I can't say it is because he is a werewolf. I have to wonder though if it is because he is a sociopath? To my knowledge there has never been a sociopathic werewolf in La Push.

I would have to save all this for later; Carlisle was starting to ask him questions. The first about his mother.

"What about her?" Jamie asked. I sensed some resentment.

"Well what was she like?"

"A drunk, physically and mentally abusive. Far from a perfect mother." He answered.

Honesty, indifference.

"And how does that make you feel?" Carlisle asked.

"...Nothing."

Nothing, he truly feels nothing.

Carlisle smiled gently. "Jamie it had to make you feel something, anger, resentment."

"In the beginning it did," Jamie answered. "But after a while I just had to tune it out."

I was beginning to detect some traces of regret, sorrow, anger. Outward wise Jamie betrayed no sense of these feelings but I knew better. I had to wonder what Edward was seeing though. I can only imagine what he is seeing through his mind.

Edward P.O.V

It seems Jamie's had an Achilles heel, his mother.

When Carlisle asked about his mother Jamie had been prepared but the more Carlisle inquired about her the more it began to make Jamie waver mentally.

I remember a professor who used to teach at a college I went to many years ago. He taught human psych and he brought up sociopathy and whether or not it could be attributed to the argument of nature versus nurture. It was an age old debate. Were criminals violent because they were born that way or because of how they were raised? I recall how heated the debate got. My then fellow classmates brought in all kinds of evidence and research. But in the end no amount of research was able to put to rest whether or not violence and evil are something we are born with, or something that must be cultivated in our youth.

I smirked to myself. My old professor would have a field day with Jamie, if he was still alive that is. But Jamie would definitely be a good example for the debate. He was raised in an unstable environment where he had to manipulate and cut himself off from those around him in order to survive, but on the other hand some could say his being a wolf contributed to his condition. But none of the other werewolves have mental conditions besides their anger issues.

But just because people are raised in a bad environment doesn't mean they will become dangerous. There are plenty of people who have come from bad homes but have overcome it and become productive members of society.

And then there are those who became the last things society needs.

Leah P.O.V

"Remember Leah fifteen will get you thirty. Alice said.

"First off, he is seventeen now, second I am not chasing jail bait," I said taking a chunk out of my sandwich.

"What is jail bait?" Nessie asked.

While Carlisle, Jasper and Edward were playing doctor with Jamie the rest of us were playing Uno. That's right two werewolves and a bunch of vampires were killing time by playing Uno, it was either that or Janga. And let me tell you vampires are good at Janga. Their sight is so damn sharp they can always tell which piece will make it fall.

I had forgotten the kid was at the table. I mean she may look five but she has the mind of an adult, I figured they would let her know a few slang terms.

I was saved from the glares of Jake and Bella by Emmett who once again proved Irish men are not known for their shining intellect.

"It is a slang term used for someone under legal age for sex-ow!"

Emmett glared at Rose who was shooting him daggers; he realized his mistake when he saw everyone at the table minus me (Yay! Someone is in trouble and this time it isn't me!) Was glaring at him.

"Oops sorry."

"Kids now days," Esme sighed. "I don't know where you come up with all these nasty terms and innuendos."

"The point is I am not in love or anything with the kid." I said putting down a green card.

"I never said you were in love," Alice said setting down a red two and changing the color. "You know I haven't played this game in ages, it was always so predictable, having you wolves around makes up for the smell." She said cheerily.

Have you ever noticed how Alice can say something and you can't be too sure whether to thank her or punch her? This is one of those times.

"She has a point Leah, if it's not love then why help him?" Jake asked putting down a red three.

"He reminds me of...me." I said.

"Hmmm, psychotic, crazy, causes trouble, the only thing he lacks is nicer skin and longer hair." Jake smiled.

"Ha ha, I mean he reminds me of me when I first became a wolf. He's a freak among freaks, no one wants him around, and he has a whole bunch of issues he has to overcome. I remember how tough it was going through all that stuff and no one was there."

"We were there for you," Jake said indigently. "But you practically bit our heads off any time we tried to help."

"Because you thought you knew," I said. "All of you even Sam. But none of you knew what I was going through. My dad died, Sam was in my head and thinking of Emily, I was the only girl in history and the rest of you were thinking I was a freak. And don't say you never thought that Jake I was in your head." I said pointing a finger at him.

"Jacob! How could you be mean to Leah!" Nessie said punching Jake in the arm.

Remember now she is half vampire, so even at her young age she is strong enough to punch a hole through a brick wall. And Jake may be durable but a brick wall he is not. I was satisfied to hear the sound of her tiny fist slamming into his arm and the sound of pain that came from his mouth.

"What did you do that for?" He asked holding his arm where she punched him.

"Us girls have to stick together." She said giving me a thumbs up.

I smiled at her and gave her a thumbs up back, if the kid wanted to use Jake as a test subject for soon to be domestic abuse who was I to argue. Every man needs some abuse from his lady love, it lets them know what will happen if they break our hearts.

"So you think that your ex's crazy brother can get help from Carlisle and my brothers? There are only so many miracles we can come up with." Rose said dropping a blue card.

"Have some hope Rose, maybe Carlisle's science and the boy's gifts together can help were others have failed." Esme said.

"That's the problem, how do we know he really wants help? Help can only be given to those who really want it. If a man truly doesn't want to change then it doesn't matter what you do for him. Remember that Leah, it will help protect your heart."

"For the last time I feel no love for him!"

"Maybe not like a boyfriend, but love is like a diamond, shine a light in it and you get all kinds of colors," Esme said. "Maybe the similarities you see wit this young man helped you develop a love that is unique for the two of you alone. A form of friendship and comrade that the others can not feel."

"You really think so?" I asked.

"Sure," She smiled. "After all, why would you want to protect the children so badly? It's the same reason why you wish to protect Jamie; you know loneliness, isolation, despair, loss. You know these things well Leah, but you over came. It is only natural for you to be drawn to others like that so you can save them from the same pain you went through, after all only those who have been through the same kind of pain as others can form such strong bonds. She put down her last card. "Uno, I win."

"All right time for Jinga!" Emmett said.

Emmett went to go get the jumbo jinga blocks he bought. He was going to make a giant jinga statue for us to play with, vampires know how to make things more interesting I go to hand them that. You should see them play dodge ball.

"Alice do you believe in destiny?" I asked while everyone helped Emmett get the tower ready.

"Sometimes, other times I like to think no. I like to think it brought me together with Jasper and our family despite what happened to us when we were younger, I like to think it is real after everything that happened with Bella and Edward. Other times I feel rebellious and like to think it's just a bunch of bull. After all my visions aren't concrete, they change so why can't destiny be more flexible." She turned towards me knowing where I was going with this

"I used to think if Sam had never met Emily he would have never imprinted and we would still be together, but from the moment he met me he was going to meet her because she was like my sister, to meet one is to meet the other you know?"

"But then you still would have phased, and you know how much Sam wants a family and since you are unable to have children you know Sam would not have been happy." She said sadly.

"How did you guess?" I asked.

"You have told me all about imprinting and what Sam thinks about it, I always figured that if he never met Emily and you did wind up together but since he seems to think love is nothing but continuing the next generation and all."

"God I hated him so bad when he said that," I said clenching my teeth. "It was so heartless, it was like he was saying he didn't love me enough to stay with me but he didn't love Emily either he was just making wolf babies. But I know he loves her, he just tries to make everything seem so obvious and practical."

"But you loved him any way didn't you? You loved him and you hated him."

"I know sucks doesn't it? All that love and I see now it wouldn't have made it through me being barren." I squeezed my eyes trying to fight back tears. "I am only now starting to see it, Sam is a family man, I would have gotten over it but he would never and he would stay with me even though he could not have a family. Because he loved me enough to stay with me, but not enough to be happy with me."

"You can't be sure of that Leah, you can't know what might have been."

"It's not hard to know what could have been, just fill in the blind spots with what you know and it becomes clear. I can't be mad at him though, he is a good man, not perfect believe me. But as good as they get and this way they can both be happy."

I felt Alice put her dainty little hand on my shoulder. I guess Jamie wasn't the only one getting therapy this day.

What is wrong with me? Why am I acting like this? Spilling my guts, acting so calm, I don't act like this." I said.

"You have grown up Leah, and you're finally finding an understanding with your past. Maybe now you can move on." Alice said.

"Okay let's play! Wolf girl you get first pick!" Emmett said excitedly.

Me and Alice walked silently over to the others. I know they heard us, but at least they are pretending like nothing happened. I appreciate that. There was once a time I would have hated them for that, but Alice is right I am maturing.

She is also right that I have found an understanding with one of my issues. One down a bazillion more to go.

Jamie P.O.V

I didn't like these questions about my mother.

Despite my best efforts she was still a sore spot I could not overcome. Which was ridiculous, all the people I knew in my life and she was the one that made me get emotional. Ironic seeing how she left me too.

I was starting to feel funny. Bringing up my mom had made my control falter. I know that there is something inside of me just begging to come out. But I had been able to keep it contained so far until Carlisle brought her up.

"Can you tell me more about her, what was it like living with her?" Carlisle asked.

Before I knew it a memory surfaced, an unpleasant memory.

Flashback

"What were you thinking!" my mother shouted.

I was eight and mom had to pick me up from school, I was suspended for getting into a fight with some kids.

"They started it." I said sullenly.

"What could make you act like such a fucking monster! You broke their arms! A black eye or a bloody lip is fine but a broken fucking arm! No wonder your father left who would want such a beast for a son, what may I ask prompted this fight?" She asked.

"They called you a whore." I said.

I remember the look in her eyes, shocked, sad, then angry. She slapped me across the face then, my face stung from the impact. I made no sound; I was used to being hit.

"Don't you lie," she seethed. She left me in my room and closed the door.

I rubbed my cheek rubbing the pain away. I wasn't lying. Some kids at schools had called her a whore and being the good son I was I defended her, even though I had no idea what a whore was.

I went over to my book case and got out my encyclopedia. It was weird for someone my age to have one but I was really good at English so mom thought I should learn more English words. I knew whore started with a W so I looked back in the w's until I found the word whore. After reading the meaning I remembered the strange men mom liked to bring home who smelled like beer, I remembered the strange sounds that would come from her room at night. It was then I realized I owed the boys at school an apology.

End flash back

I looked at Edward knowing full well he had seen what I saw.

He was not freaking out or acting shocked which I was glad for. There had been many people who had done such things when I let them into my head, and Edward was no mere mortal with a nack for the comings and goings of a person's head, he actually saw them.

"Jamie if your mother was abusive why did you stay with her?" Carlisle asked. "You are a smart boy I am sure you would have thought of leaving such a life."

Carlisle words strung along another memory more unpleasant.

Flashback

Mom was drunk and raving again.

She was mad at me for being Joshua's son. Joshua whom she loved. Joshua who didn't love her enough to stay with her or her bastard son, me.

"You're going to be just like your father," She slurred, even from across the table I could smell the alcohol on her breath. Her eyes were covered in tears, why she was crying was beyond me "Your cut from the same cloth, you think you can leave me to don't you?"

"No mom I love you." I said honestly trying to appease her. It was late and I was tired, I just wanted to sleep.

"You better not; you know what they will do? People in orphanages and schools for bad children like you they like to fuck you right in the ass," she sneered. "And that is what will happen if you leave me, you'll go to a home where they'll rape you and no one will give a shit because no one wants trash. I'm the only one who loves you, I'm the only one who will protect grown men from sticking their dicks in your ass, do you want a dick in your ass?"

"NO!" I said hysterical at the thought.

"Good," she said softly. She went around the table and pulled me into a hug. "Mommy loves you; you're my only reason for living."

End flashback

I shook my head at the memory. Edward was still cold faced.

"It wasn't all bad, there were good times," I said truthfully.

It was true I remembered all the times she came to school to defend me. Whenever I got in trouble she would come storming to the school cussing the principle for daring to put me in the office. When children would tease and mock me she would tell them to shut the fuck up and their parents hated them and they were jealous they didn't have a real mom to love them.

When the parents would say something to mom about me she threatened them with physical violence. "So what my kid punched your kid? Maybe the little fucker will learn some respect, keep calling my boy a deviant and I'll knock you the fuck out too!" she would say.

She made sure I had a roof over my head, she made sure I was fed, she made sure I studied and became smart (Well smarter) she made sure I would want for nothing. The good times were so great and full of fun that it almost made the bad times seem pointless...almost.

"My mom was good, and bad. It was like when she was having a good day she was an angel, but with some alcohol she would become the devil. She was like that. She was a very charismatic; you couldn't help but love her while you hated her at the same time. She could be so human then a monster so quickly it was maddening." I said.

"You loved her even though she abused you and abandoned you?" He asked.

I was getting a headache. All these questions were hurting my head, I was feeling things I shouldn't be feeling, and the smell of them, the voice in my head pounding at my soul like a great weight...I needs...rest..so

"Jamie? Are you okay?" Carlisle asked.

I looked at him and I didn't see Carlisle Cullen the friendly vampire doctor I saw prey.

Fusedtwilight: Uh oh, will this experiment have some repercussions? Hell yes. Next chapter we see what those repercussions, and Jamie won't be the only wolf loosing their mind. Please review