The Distant Blue

My days settled into a routine; they didn’t rape me or beat me and I only saw the black haired one.  Alcide began talking to me when Eric wasn’t around. “I was four when my mom died,” he said one day coming into his room where I was tied up.

I stared at him and could see him waiting for me to say something. “I’m sorry,” I said in reply.

“My dad was a sick fuck,” he muttered. He ran his hands through his hair. “Now I’m a sick fuck,” he added after a long silence. I said nothing thinking of my friend who’d confided in me.

“I went to medical school to be a doctor, I was an intern when I quit,” he continued the next day.

“Why’d you quit?”

Alcide shook his head from his position in the chair by the bed. “I started getting night terrors, where I could see it all happening again,” he paused and looked so lost. “It got to the point where I couldn’t eat or sleep, I looked in the mirror one night and saw myself wasting away, so I dropped out.”

“Did you know Eric then?”

“No, I met him five months after dropping out, he’d already passed the bar and was working for his firm.”

He left that day and didn’t come back until dawn of the next day. He was carrying crepes and I ate them ravenously. “You know you could have gone pro with cooking,” I said licking my fingers after splaying them across the empty plate.

He looked flattered. “My aunt taught me a lot of it, well the South American and Mexican dishes anyway, the rest I learned from the food network and cooking magazines.”

“Consuela?”

He smiled fondly and nodded. “She was the only one to ever love me,” a light like an eclipse encased his face. “Besides Anton,” he added.

He unchained me on the fifth day for the first time in nearly a week since the picnic. “Your equipment arrived the other day, it’s in the basement,” he said to me. I felt excitement run through me at the words.

And affection for the one who’d bought them for me. “Eric and I are members in a gym so…” he trailed off.

I tried to picture these two working out among normal men; men who didn’t need to debase and abuse women and men, it was hard but the effort made me laugh.

“What?” he asked as I doubled over.

“Nothing it’s just funny to picture,” I realized I was cracking up, breaking into pieces, day after day.

He led me down the basement stairs to look at them. They each had a big bow wrapped around them. “You know,” he began looking at them. “You are enchanting all of us,” he said tipping his head to the side.

I flushed picturing them all thinking of me in a soft way in their fucked up minds. “You need to eat before you work out and drink one of your shakes,” he took me back up and sat me down at the table. I was heavily anticipating what he would cook.

He took around twenty minutes to make me eggs benedict. The first bite was ambrosia. I devoured it in what felt like mere seconds. He looked pleased and wiped his hands on his apron with contentment.

I drank my raspberry Ensure shake under his watchful eyes. I could feel his affection like sunshine on a cloudy day. “You’re far too thin, you were always small but this is ridiculous,” he said shaking his head.

“When I was me,” I paused at hearing what I’d thought a million times before but never said. “When I was me,” I began again. “I used to have to eat seven or eight times a day to stay at eighty five pounds.”

Alcide looked shocked. “OK fine, I’ll feed you that many times a day and you’ll have shakes three times a day.”

He took me downstairs and I took the bow off the elliptical and began working out. I was already dressed in sweats. A light sheen of sweat started on my forehead as I increased the intensity. It felt wonderful. I’ve always loved pushing my body to the limit. Alcide watched me and handed me a bottle of water when I paused and a towel to wipe my face. I did and drank some of the ice cold Fiji water which I knew was one of the most expensive brands you could buy.

“How rich are you?”

Alcide smirked. “Not as rich as Anton, but I get by,” he replied leaning his massive body against the wall.

“Do you have to kill people to be a drug dealer?”

He stared at me clearly surprised. “Yes sometimes, when people try to move in on what’s mine,” he said after a while.

I moved my legs furiously while I thought of my next question. “Do you do it yourself or have someone do it for you?”

He smiled. “I do it myself only when there is no choice, Anton is my hit man.”

This didn’t surprise me entirely and I said so. “When did Anton start killing people?”

Alcide bowed his head. “He killed his first person when he was fourteen,” his voice sounded far away, wrapped in time.

“I hate that he does that,” I said softly.

He shrugged and seemed undisturbed. “It’s a jungle out there and some people are lions Sookie.”

I finished my workout and took a shower. I groomed myself as was expected of me. I wiped the steam from the mirror and laughed like a loon at my reflection. “Fuck you,” I said to that girl. It was all her fault, it was my great grandfather’s fault for passing down my eyes and my mother’s fault and all my ancestors fault, for this degradation that was now my life.

I heard the door open downstairs. “Hey babe, you home?” Eric called. Alcide murmured something in return.

Eric came upstairs and I realized it was the first time I’d seen him in almost a week. I was in the piss room dressing in Cullen’s clothing. I rolled up his jeans like four times and donned a baggy black t-shirt and a hoodie. He watched me from the doorway. “How have you been?” his voice was quiet and thoughtful.

“OK I guess, I’ve been chained up for days but Alcide let me work out.”

He nodded and came towards me and I shrank back. “Relax,” he said wrapping his arms around me. I let him hold me. “You know I’ve missed you,” he whispered against my hair.

I felt confused at the raw emotion in his tone. And afraid. Eric was dangerous when he felt things. He released me but grabbed my hand and led me up to the attic. He went up the old fashioned ladder and got a soup can out. I was anticipating doing some coke.

We went downstairs and rap was playing and I found myself bobbing my head in time with it. Eric laid out some lines and I tried not to show that I was seeing Alcide’s look of disapproval.

The puzzle was finished at last and Alcide was busy gluing it into a frame. Somehow the puzzle being done made things come full circle, as if it being done was a sign of something. “You know Steven would be happy that we finished this,” he said as he hung it on the wall.

Eric frowned and did another line. “I should have killed him for what he did,” he said quietly.

Alcide turned from the puzzle and sighed. “I’m glad you didn’t, he’s a good guy, he just got caught up,” I was surprised at his statement. I hadn’t thought that Alcide prized things like goodness.

Eric said nothing and did a line and passed me the straw. He held back my wet hair while I did it. It ran through my face like runny tar and I realized that I’d missed the drain.

“Where have you been all week?” I asked.

“Working on a big case, I’ve been sleeping at the office,” he said looking mildly pleased with my curiosity.

“What sort of case?”

Eric got up and changed the music to some sad song. He turned back. “Murder one, he’s a serial killer with a lot of dough.”

I felt nothing at his words, I was too far gone for that. “How do you know?”

He smirked down at me before regaining his seat. “He told me in great detail.”

He left the room and I heard him go up to the attic. He came back with a Campbell’s faux can that said it was clam chowder. He pried the lid off and removed a baggie of shards. He took the odd looking bowl from the drawer at the bottom of the coffee table and packed it.

“Are you a meth addict?” I asked watching him.

His eyes narrowed through the bitter smelling smoke. “No, I just like it,” he said with his eyes turning electric.

He pressed the bowl to my lips after putting fresh shards in. “I don’t really like this stuff,” I said releasing the smoke.

He said nothing, just watched me. The song ended and he changed it to another one. Another one of his downer songs as Alcide called them. He sat back down and caressed my hand with a tender expression.

Alcide was cleaning the living room, quietly dusting his ass off. I found it amusing what a neat freak he was. He was definitely the bitch in this relationship, even if he was so straight acting.

Eric saw me watching him and his eyes danced with laughter. “Alcide is very OCD,” he commented.

“Yeah I’ve noticed that,” I returned.

I looked at the artful soup can and picked it up. “Who makes these for you?”

Alcide was the one who replied as he wiped the walls down. “Anton owns a Campbell soup factory.”

I should have known. Alcide went over to the IPOD and that beautiful song started playing. “I have a recurring dream…”

“Who is this?”

“It’s Bjork,” Eric said.

“She’s got the prettiest voice,” I replied.

“Yeah she does, Anton’s fucked her,” Alcide said turning from his position on the floor where he was trying to polish a scuff on the immaculate floor.

I felt jealous hearing that and it must have shown because he frowned. But he cast Eric a worried glance and said nothing.

“Why does Anton live here and not Hollywood or someplace like that?”

Alcide paused in his wiping. “Because I live here, I guess,” he said under his breath.

It occurred to me that my best friend was as rich as Paris Hilton but I’d never seen him in any magazines. “Why haven’t I seen him in Star?”

Alcide turned to me with some amusement. “Not all heirs are famous.”

Eric did another line and passed me the straw. I did it and felt dirty and lost. I was becoming a drug addict.

Alcide kept his face carefully blank as we got high. Eric lit a smoke and leaned into me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “I love you Sookie,” as soon as the words were out of his mouth his eyes burned like a blow torch and his whole body tensed. I knew that I would pay for that love, I would pay in spades, in pain and with all the despair I could muster.

I received some of the best reviews ever for the last couple of chapters. Special thanks go to Marebare for all of her reviews, I will reply to them btw. And thanks go to Sophi and Skarsgirl. I was sad to hear that you’ve been trying to review and haven’t been able to. Thanks go to Cullen’s pet for her thoughtful comment. I love that all of you are engrossed in this fucked up story. Viking’s girl, if you’re still reading, let me know. Love be to all of you. OH I almost forgot to thank Shari Turner for her cool review, I love that somebody out there is checking so often for an update.