Plum Hairy.

Plum Hairy.

Chapter 4:

James Gorbeck was booked for armed robbery and assault and he’d shot at me a lot of times... I really wanted to catch this guy. He was worth five thousand bucks and I really needed to pay my rent and go food shopping.

  I went to Gorbeck's house and went to the door. I didn’t bother knocking, the door just swung open when I turned the knob. Gorbeck was in front of the TV and he didn’t look happy to see me.

  “Fuck! How’d you get in!? The door was locked!”

  I grinned, “Magic fingers.”

  Gorbeck raised a gun at me. “Magic this.”

  “You know, I really hate it when you shoot at me.”

  He fired a shot that missed me by inches. “Okay, now I’m just pissed off! So far I’ve been kidnapped, ransomed, used for bait and my family thinks I’m marrying Diesel! And now I have some asshole shooting at me!”

  I lunged forward as Gorbeck tried to take another shot and ripped the gun out of his hand. I fired a couple of rounds into the ceiling and one into his foot.

  “Yow! Fuck! Are you fuckin’ crazy!? You can’t just go around shooting people like that!”

  “Why not? You do it all the time. Hurts, doesn’t it?”

  “Ow, yeah. You shot my fuckin’ foot!”

  I grabbed Gorbeck and cuffed him and then I dragged his hundred and ten pound ass back to my car and drove him to the police station. I dragged him to the docket lieutenant, who was talking to Carl Costanza.

  “Oh, shit! He shot himself, right?”

  “Yeah. If that’s easier.”

  “Trust me, it is.”

  I got my receipt and left. I was almost to my car when I felt a weird tingling feeling and a slight tugging sensation and suddenly I was in the hospital with Diesel.

  “Wha...!? How...!? What just happened!?”

  “You did the ‘poof’-and-you’re-gone thing.”

  “Scary.”

  “Yeah. It comes in useful though. They took my stitches out. Did you get your FTA?”

  “Yeah, I got him... I kinda shot him in the foot. You can go now, right?”

  Diesel laughed a bit at that. “Yeah, I can go.”

  “Wait a minute... I haven’t got a car. I kind of left it at the police station...”

  “Oh, yeah.”

  “How do I do the ‘poof’ thing again?”

  “You concentrate really hard...”

  “Can I poof both of us?”

  “Yeah, I guess so. I’ve never really done it before, but I s’pose it’s possible.”

  Diesel grabbed my hand and I thought of my mother’s place. There was food and a car there. I opened my eyes and we were in my mother’s kitchen. She jumped and screamed when she saw me.

  “Oh! Stephanie! I didn’t hear you come in! You almost gave me a heart attack!”

  Grandma Mazur was there as well. “It’s like she just popped up out of nowhere! And look! Diesel’s here too!”

  My mother looked at the wine cabinet.

  We sat down to dinner and Valerie flounced out of the living room. “Hey! Look who’s here! I have great news! Me and Grandma have got the hall booked for the first and everything else is already set to go! Now we just have to find you a dress... Oh, and I suppose Diesel will need a suit...”

  I looked over at Diesel and he whispered; “I don’t do suits.”

  “Well, I don’t do weddings, but it looks like we’re stuck with it... I don’t know how to get out of it!”

  “Me neither... Damn! We’re so screwed!”

  We managed to survive dinner and I borrowed the Buick to get home in. We trudged into my apartment and collapsed on the bed. Diesel wrapped his arms around me and hugged me to him.

  “I’m glad you’re okay.”

  “Yeah, me too. I’d kind of miss you if you were gone permanently.”

  “I don’t have to go... Well, okay, I do... But you could always come with me?” He asked, hopefully.

  “What would I tell everyone?”

  “Tell them you got promoted.” He grinned.

  I grinned back and flicked a strand of hair behind his ear. “I might go with you... I mean, we are getting married in a week.”

  “Yeah, apparently we are... But first, you have something that belongs to me...” He reached over and unhooked the medallion from my neck.

  “Aw, damn. And just when I was starting to figure it all out!”

  “Yeah, life sucks... But I might be able to get you some of your own... Someday...”

  “That would be cool.”

  Diesel put the medallion in and gave a little shiver. “Oh, man! That feels better!”

  “So, does this mean you’re super-Diesel again?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Good. ‘Cos normal Diesel scared the crap out of me when he nearly died.”

  “You don’t want me to die.”

  “No. At least... Not before I try being married to you.” I grinned.

  “Diesel groaned. “I hate suits.”

  “I know you do. Toughen up. Wait... Who’s gonna be your best man?”

  “Flash.”

  “Figures. You should call him.”

  “Are we really going through with this?”

  “Do you want to?”

  “Yeah, I guess. It could be fun.”

  “You’re not gonna leave me at the altar are you?”

  “No. I wouldn’t do that to you. Anyone else, yeah, but not you.”

  “Good to know.”

  “Flash is gonna love this...” He grabbed the phone and dialled. “Hi... No, I’m cool now.” There was a pause. “Yeah, the power’s back on. I have a favour to ask you... No! Not that kind of favour... for once... You’re not gonna believe this...  and don’t laugh or I’ll kill you...” Pause. “I’m kind of getting married to Stephanie in a few days and I need a best man...”

  I could hear Flash laughing on the other end of the phone. “You’re shitting me, right!” He said, loud enough for me to hear.

  “No.”

  “Is she there?”

  “Yeah.” Diesel put the phone on speaker.

  “Hello?”

  “Holly cow, Steph! Are you nuts!? Diesel!? Are you serious!?”

  “Yeah.” He was laughing again. “My grandmother’s booked the hall for the first.”

  “Holly shit! I gotta call Annie, she’ll have a fit!” He hung up, still laughing.

  “Damn.” Diesel said. “By tomorrow, everyone’ll know.”

  “Everyone probably already does...” Except for Joe and Ranger, possibly. “I dialled Ranger first.

  “Yo.”

  “Uhm, hey... You know how my family keeps thinking me and Diesel are getting married?”

  “Yeah.”

  “They booked a hall... and everything...”

  “Babe.”

  “I know.”

  “Are you going to marry Diesel?”

  “I think so.”

  “What about Joe?”

  “I have no idea. I called you first.”

  “Babe. Do I have to kill Diesel?”

  “No!”

  “Do I need to kill Joe?”

  “Maybe... Oh, and can you do me a favour? I kind of left my car at the hospital... Somehow...”

  “I’m not even gonna ask.” He said.

  “Probably a good idea.”

  “Babe.” He hung up.

  “I think he took that okay.”

  “He was laughing.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Shit!” The phone rang. It was Joe.

  “Steph?”

  “Yeah... Did Ranger call you?”

  “No... I just had a feeling... Diesel’s still there isn’t he?”

  “Yeah...”

  “I’m gonna kill him. Your grandmother called me.”

  “Shit!”

  “Are you really gonna marry him? Do you want to marry him?”

  “Uhm...”

  “Shit! I knew it!” He hung up, sounding pissed.

  “Someone’s gonna get shot.” I said, dejectedly.

  “I could make you forget about that.” Diesel said, smiling.

  “Maybe later... I’m beat.” And I collapsed into Diesel’s arms, instantly asleep...

 

***000***