Memories

Your father had a number of lessons for me. Lessons of trust. Lessons of obedience. He wanted and demanded from me all my trust and all my faith. Nothing less would satisfy him. This came far more easily than it would have otherwise because of my love for him. Yes... I loved him! I still love him. Soon... Here, in these letters I may admit what I could never say. I love you, Zaknafein!

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I entered the room fully expecting Zak to pull me into his arms and sweep us away into our own little world as he had done before, yet his face was serious, making me wonder if I had erred in some way. He allowed his expression to soften a bit as he approached and took my chin in his hand and kissed my lips lightly.

“I need your trust. All your trust. Do you understand?’ His eyes bored into mine and I nodded ‘yes’ though my eyes held confusion. ‘No… you don’t. Stand still and do not move. I will not harm you if you obey my instructions. If you move you will receive a nick from my swords. Do you understand these instructions?”

Again I nodded. The instructions were clear even if his reasons for his actions were not. Standing perfectly still I raised an eyebrow when he brought out both swords. He began a shadow play with his swords dancing, weaving and stabbing the air at a dizzying speed. Every time I flinched I was nicked. How long he danced his dance, I could not tell. I was frightened. One mistake... one misstep and I would be sliced in two! At one point he backhanded me.

"Have you no confidence in me?? No trust? Have I not shone you, foolish human, more than compassion? More than the simple desire to use you??"

Tears rolled down my cheeks. I had hurt him. I had disappointed him. I had repaid all he had done with what was essentially betrayal. I fell to my knees head down.

"Forgive me, Master Zaknafien, please." I whispered.

"Again.'' he paused and used the tip of his sword under my chin to indicate he wished me to stand once more. ''Be still. Be silent." Zak hissed in anger.

I stood determined to be still and silent this time... no matter the cost. Once I started watching him though, standing still was not a problem. I was enthralled by his skill, grace and sheer savage passion he unleashed in this dance of death.

Initially, however, it was the same each time. Until I became enthralled by his skill I was skittish. We repeated this as often as he could get away till I was no longer flinching even in the beginning. I finally realized what he wanted and needed from me. I knew by the end of these particular lessons and gave it to him… my faith, my love and my trust.

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Allow me to tell you a bit about my life here. A yellow ribbon was for a room being served with no ''personal'' service required. Blue was for a room being served with personal service but nothing intimate such as a massage, a bath or something similar. The red ribbon...

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The red ribbon that I bore as I lead my customer to the small private room he had rented was for personal service with sex. I will not call it intimacy. That part of me that would be required to call it intimacy would not be involved.

I wasn''t so sure of my charge. He was rough looking and smelled. I would have much preferred to give him a bath before... my duty. As I discovered later, this was the way of half-orcs. Barely had I tied the ribbon on the handle of the door before he pushed me roughly into the room and began undressing. Dressed or not he would have me so I divested myself of my brief tunic before he got too impatient. How I hated this! Vaguely, I noticed that his member was longer and thicker than Zak''s. I was slapped for my wandering mind, grabbed roughly and tossed on the bed before the half-orc fell atop of my prone form, thrusting my legs far apart, searching for the entrance to his temporary bliss and release. He cared not if I enjoyed our tryst or even if I made sounds as some preferred I do so, I stared up at the ceiling praying for his quick release so I could get back to more interesting duties. Scrubbing chamber pots would have been preferable to this! I listened to his grunting as he thrust repeatedly into my unresisting and unwilling body. I was a slave and whore.

Thinking over the denizens of the Underdark, I was grateful that beholders, trolls and mind flayers were not so inclined to human forms of sex. I shuddered at these thoughts at the same time that my ''client'' shuddered in completion. He grinned down at me thinking that my shudder was due to his actions, donned his clothes and left. Whatever. Let him keep his illusion, it harmed me not. I rose quickly and going over to the small stand with water and soap and washed his essence from myself. Zaknafein had warned me of days like these and I comforted myself with thoughts of him while I nursed my swollen lip.