Feminine Woes

Edward stood in the entry to Jean-Claude's rooms, feeling like an idiot... in a dress.

"Mon Dieu..." Jean-Claude stared at Edward where he stood in his doorway like an angel. He shook his head. "You look lovely."

"Thanks." He said, still very much a guy inside. He didn't think of himself as lovely, but he wasn't going to argue.

Jean-Claude pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Shall I tell you instead, Petite Morte, what the thought of you does to me and what I wish to do to you? My most carnal intentions?"

Edward looked away. "Don't say things like that. You just like to see me flustered."

"Mm... and smell the scent of your arousal."

He blushed. Ok, he never affected you this much when you where a man, you can handle it now. "Can we go, please?"

"If you insist." He offered Death his arm.

He took the offered arm. "Where are we going?"

"To dinner." Jean-Claude quipped.

"Where are we eating at?" Edward clarified.

"I suppose if I said 'a restaurant' you would hit me." He smiled. "Non, we are going to Le Chat Blanc."

"The White Cat? That sounds lame."

Jean-Claude sighed. "Then where would you like to go, Edward?"

"The cat place is fine. I was just saying." He got into the limo. "Why do I have to get in first? I'm a dress you know."

"Because... then I can watch you get in." The vampire smirked.

Edward blushed. He wasn't wearing underwear. As a man, it was a habit. Being a woman didn't change that.

"Edward?"

"Uh, yeah?

"Why are you blushing?"

"Oh, no reason." He said quickly, glad the vampire hadn't seen.

Jean-Claude quirked a brow. "Indeed..."

Edward was silent most of the ride there.

"Do you enjoy wine, Terry?" Jean-Claude forced himself to say the name. It felt wrong.

"I usually don't drink, but wine sometimes is good." Edward noted the way he said Terry. It didn't hold the same passion as Edward did when it crossed his lips.

"Order anything you like here. I shall make sure that you receive it." He helped Edward from the limo after they stopped.

Edward felt weird being the chick on the date. He sat down across from Jean-Claude and looked at the menu.

Jean-Claude watched him, smiling faintly. But, rather than a woman, he simply saw Edward.

"I don't know what I want." He said after five minutes of staring at the menu.

"I am assuming that you can read it, Cher?"

His eye actually twitched. "Half of it is in french."

Jean-Claude moved, sitting next to him. "Shall I tell you what it says?"

"Yes." He gave the menu to Jean-Claude.

"Je suis desole that I chose such a place, E- Terry. I should have known you would prefer something else." Slowly, he began reading off the French, translating it into English.

"That sounds good." Edward finally said. "I'll have that."

Jean-Claude nodded slowly, moving to the other side of the table. Merde! He should have known that such a... prissy place was NOT for Edward. He was a fool!

Edward shifted in his seat. This just wasn't a place he was comfortable in. Give him a bar with good steak any day... scratch that. He'd seen what happened to women in those places.

"Would you prefer if we left?" Jean-Claude asked softly.

"No, this place is fine." He smiled at the vampire.

"Clearly it is not, Ed-" Jean-Claude closed his eyes, and tried again. "Terry, clearly you dislike it here and are uncomfortable."

"Listen, you wanted to come here so I'll be ok. You put up with me for weeks. The least I can do is not complain."

"I had hoped to impress you, forgetting-" He sighed, shaking his head. "Non."

"Forgetting that I used to be a guy." Edward said.

"Well... not exactly..."

"Then what?" He asked sipping the wine the waiter set in front of him.

"It has been a long time since I have courted someone of the same sex." Jean-Claude said, making sure the waiter was gone before doing so. He wasn't ashamed of his sexuality, however, saying something that was indicative of his date being male while they were clearly female wouldn't exactly make him seem sane, and as Master of the City, he could not afford such a thing.

"So we're both a little lost on this one."

"Oui."

Edward ate a piece of the bread that was on the table.

Jean-Claude shook his head. "I am sorry for making such a bad choice."

"It's not that bad. It's just...different for me."

"Perhaps. But next time, Ed- entertainment," Jean-Claude covered as the waiter came back, "will be your choice, Cher."

He shrugged. "Ok, Jean-Claude."

"Bon Soir. I am Phillipe, I will be your server tonight. May I bring you something special as an appetizer?"

Jean-Claude did NOT like how he was looking at Edward, and bit off the order.

"Will that be all?" He leaned over Edward.

"Yeah. And I don't appreciate waiters who stare down my top." Edward growled. Being a woman was hard.

Phillipe had the grace to look embarrassed. "Sorry, Miss." He turned, leaving them.

The vampire glared after him. "I shall see him fired."

"I'll just twist his balls off." Edward glared after him as well.

Jean-Claude smiled, taking his hand and kissing his palm. "A lovely image."

Edward stared at him. "Uh...yeah..."

He smirked, licking from Edward's wrist, across him palm to his index finger, which he sucked, teasing with his tongue.

He gasped and pulled his hand back. "Stop that."

"Ah. Should I be sorry?"

Edward just looked away from him.

"I smell your scent, Terry." He scowled as he said the name, then waved a hand. "Non- I cannot call you that."

"Then don't." He sighed loudly. He didn't feel like talking much now.

The vampire watched him for a moment, then nodded. "Je suis desole. Perhaps we should forget this..."

He said quietly, not meeting Edward's gaze.

The waiter came back and set the food down. He left as fast as he came. "Foods here. Too late to go now."

"Non. Not if it is your wish." Jean-Claude swirled a glass of wine, though he didn't sip it.

"I want to stay." Edward said firmly.

Nodding, Jean-Claude smoothed the table cloth.

Edward looked at the food in front of him and took a bite.

Sniffing his wine, Jean-Claude let it touch his tongue briefly before setting it back on the table.

Edward managed to enjoy the meal.

Jean-Claude, however, remained quiet, not wanting to mess anything up further.

Edward glanced over at him, noting how silent he was.

"Would you like desert?" He asked after a moment.

"Sure. What do they have?"

"Pies... cakes... creme brulee... Ice creams."

"What kind of pie?" Edward asked hoping he'd say apple.

"Apple, date, pecan.." Jean-Claude furrowed his brow, thinking.

"Apple. I want apple." He said, a little too enthusiastically

The vampire quirked a brow. "You like apple, non?"

"Yeah." Edward said, looking away.

"Bon... Will you tell me what the pie tastes of? I have never had the privilege of tasting it..." Jean-Claude forced himself to ask, if only for conversation.

Edward tried his best to explain apple pie to Jean-Claude. "I like it warm with some ice cream on top."

"It sounds like heaven..." The sourdre de sange paused, sighing.

"It is." He grinned as the pie finally came.

Jean-Claude smiled as he watched Edward eat, fully enjoying the desert.

After some fighting, Jean-Claude paid and they headed back out to the limo.

"Shall I get in first, this time, Cher, and let the reporters see how lovely you are?" He teased.

"Reporters?" He said to Jean-Claude.

The Master of the City motioned to the ones lurking in the shadows.

Edward frowned and decided it was best if he got in first, once again hoping he didn't flash Jean-Claude.

He smiled, climbing in after.

"I flashed you didn't I?" He said noting the smile on Jean-Claude's face.

"I could return the favor if you are embarrassed."

"You would too." Edward shook his head.

"Be embarrassed or return the favor?" jean-Claude smirked again.

"I am not answering that." Edward got comfortable in his seat.

He laughed, the sound low and sexual, making fine hairs stand up on Edward's body.

Edward glared at him. "Don't laugh like that."

"Why ever not? It is just a laugh..."

"It's... just don't laugh." He looked away.

"Why not?"

Edward was silent.

"Petite Morte?" Jean-Claude frowned.

"Hmm?" He said, staring out the window.

"Have I upset you?"

"No." He said. Actually, he'd done the opposite of upset but Edward didn't tell him that.

"Alright..." Jean-Claude nodded, looking away.

Edward looked at him. "I'd rather be flashed than embarrassed but I think that's the guy in me speaking."

"I suppose."

With that out of the way, he went back to looking out the window.

"Je suis desole, Edward. I fear I am little more than a bumbling oaf when it comes to you, and such things are not like me." Jean-Claude's voice was soft, quiet.

"It's alright. You didn't do anything wrong." Edward said to him.

"I have hardly done anything right either."

"Then you broke even." He retorted.

"Only you, Petite Morte."

"What do you mean? And why do you keep calling me that?" Edward asked looking at the vampire.

"Calling you what?"

"Petite Morte... 'little death' is an euphemism for an orgasm. It sounds wrong when you say it."

Jean-Claude paused, caught. "Perhaps that is what you are."

Edward blinked. "An orgasm?"

"A little bit of pleasure..."

He looked way. "I doubt it."

"And where do you draw that conclusion from?"

"I don't know." Edward shifted uncomfortably.

"Then let someone who has thought on the matter be the judge, non?" Jean-Claude pushed his curls over his shoulder.

"Yeah sure." He felt the limo stop. "Home sweet home." He went to get out only to be stopped by Jean-Claude not moving out of his way.

"Hmm... oui."

"I can't get out until you do unless I crawl over you." Edward pointed out when Jean-Claude didn't move from his seat.

"Ah. I did not think. Je suis desole." He climbed from the car, offering Edward a hand.

Edward took it as he got out. "Dinner was nice, by the way."

"I am glad you thought so."

He walked beside him until he reached Jean-Claude's room. "Well...good night."

Jean-Claude pressed a soft kiss to the corner of the assassin's mouth. "Goodnight, Edward."

"Night, Jean-Claude." He needed a shower...a very cold one. Edward paused as he turned to leave, torn between going and staying.

Swearing low in his throat, Jean-Claude made himself look away. "If you do not want this, Edward, I suggest you leave before I make the decision for you..."

"I just don't know if I can do it for you." He said.

"Then let me do something for you." Jean-Claude offered him his hand.

Edward took it. "What do you mean?"

"Trust me."

Edward didn't trust many people, but he nodded and went with him.

Gently, Jean-Claude lead him to his bed.

Unsure, he sat down. His heart was pounding in his chest.

Jean-Claude kissed him softly. "Tell me to stop and I shall..." Slowly, he began to tease Edward's chest.

Edward couldn't breathe. Jean-Claude stole his breath with just a kiss.

Gently, slowly, he stripped the assassin, kissing his way down the feminine body.

He closed his eyes, moaning. Jean-Claude's mouth felt wonderful, but as Jean-Claude touched him he had a feeling of great uneasy. "Stop! I can't do this." He buried his face in his hands.

The vampire froze, moving to the other side of the room before Edward had finished the sentence.

He couldn't go through with it. Some part of him still said it was wrong. "I'm sorry."

"Non. It is not your fault." Jean-Claude looked away, handing him a robe. "Je suis desole. I will leave you to dress."

Edward held the robe close to him. He was lost in thought for quite some time.

Jean-Claude moved into the other room, then into his office, shutting the door behind him.

Edward laid back onto Jean-Claude's bed, thinking about how messed up his life had become.