Howling Moon

Author's Note: Wow, I fall asleep for a measly couple of hours and the hits have doubled! Thanks for the views and don't forget to review! As an actual note, though, I re-read the story and realized that, in my sleepy haze, I had completely forgotten that some of Jake's family was supposed to be staying in Jake's room. Wow, continuity issue, anyone? No worries, I plan to have it all make sense. ^_^;; Well, back to the story!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was glad that everyone who came to the reservation for a visit had refused Billy's invitation to stay at our house had been declined; I'd much rather my extended family stay in a nice little hotel just outside of La Push instead of being holed up in mine and Billy's place with me brooding around the house. It also gave me the space and time I needed in case my temper flared and self-control was needed.

I had woken up the morning after my latest spanking session in nothing but a cold, stiff towel. It actually felt pretty good, considering my body temperature. If you've ever had a sunburn, then you know how ice-cold objects feel on the skin; painful, at first, and then you can't help but sigh in relief at how good it actually feels-- I go through that every time something cold touches my skin, and it's an amazing feeling that you never tire of. I sat up in bed, glaring past the curtains of my bedroom window as they flitted in the stiff summer breeze. I could see some of the extended family's children running around, and the sound of their tinkling laughter had me smiling. I figured that if I were going to act normal, I might as well go join them.

I got up and stretched before finding a pair of jeans on the floor. I slipped them on, only bothering to zip them up so they wouldn't entirely fall down as I made the pass down the hall to the bathroom. I gave a careful knock on the closed door, and not hearing a response, I ducked inside. Just as I was digging out my chain wallet to attach to the belt loop of my current pair of jeans, Billy called for me from the front room.

"Yeah, Dad?", I called out from behind the bathroom door, stiffly running my fingers through my now shoulder-length hair. It wasn't completely straight, since I'd fallen asleep with it wet, but I didn't look that bad, I supposed. I jerked a comb through it, anyway, since there was family around.

"You're up mighty early, Son! Got plans or something?", Billy called.

"Nope! Just going out to play with the kids, Dad!", I replied, still calling from the bathroom as I sniffed a wife beater I picked up off of the floor. It didn't smell too bad and, after inspection, it didn't have grease spots. I assumed that it was at least somewhat clean, and tugged it over my head.

Billy didn't respond, but I could see the smile on his face as I emerged from the bathroom. He knew that I loved playing with kids; children were surprisingly resilient and brave, having no fear, even after skinning a knee. I had a blast playing with children, and they always seemed to love hanging around with me, so that always made it so much more fun.

I spent a good portion of the morning playing 'horsie' with a bunch of the kids outside before we all sat down to make mudpies. By the time lunch rolled around, the entire lot of us were covered in mud and starving. One of the mothers came out with a tray full of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and a pitcher of milk; we all dove in and ate our share before I bid my farewells to my tiny playmates. They were all going in for a nap, and I needed a bath. Playing with the kids had proven a great distraction from my current and slightly embarrassing situation, but in their absence I could only sit in the pile of mud outside and huff. I'm certain that I looked like I was pouting when Billy wheeled up to me, laughing.

"Aw, you don't need a nap yourself, do you, Jake?", Billy teased, noting the expression on my face. I countered it with an roll of my eyes before getting up and responding.

"Nah, I just feel a little bad that they won't be back out for another hour. Kids are a blast!"

Billy laughed and shook his head. "Well," he said, "you're not coming back in the house looking like that. Why don't you go down to the beach to pass the time? Sam called; I think they're fishing down there and wanted to see if you'd come along."

It sounded like a good idea. I momentarily entertained the thought of talking to Sam about imprinting, but pushed the idea aside. I would handle this by myself, if I had to, with no outside interference. If I had any say in it, Sam and the others wouldn't even know I had imprinted. I would quell my instincts and urges in favor of violating Amelia.

I spent the rest of the day on the beach; it had been fun, with Sam and the others seeing who could swim the fastest and furthest without tiring out. We had all made it quite a ways out before we had realized we couldn't see the beach anymore and had decided to head back. By that time, the mud on my clothes had dried into dirt and was easy to remove. I was still picking the last bits of dirt off of my jeans when I stepped up to the front door of my house and paused.

She was there.

I could smell Amelia from outside the house; her scent was distinct and I should have smelled it from a mile away, but my preoccupation with getting the dirt off of my jeans had me distracted until it hit me like a wave. I stood on the front porch, bristling and gnashing my teeth together as the urge to take her for my own began to rise up in me like a pot boiling over with water. My breath caught in my throat when she rounded the corner from the living room into the foyer. I stood at the screen door, motionless, and she stopped in her tracks when she saw me standing there.

"Jacob! There you are! I was wondering if you'd be at the beach all night with Sam! Why don't you come in and sit down! Amelia made some brownies!" Billy called as he caught sight of me from around Amelia's frozen body.

My normal response would have been to warn him not to eat the brownies or he'd go into diabetic shock; it was the whole reason he was in a wheelchair in the first place-- but I said nothing. I stood, rooted to the front porch like a tree, stiff and unmoving while the hurricane of emotions an instincts hit me like a tidal wave.

"Jake? You alright, Son?" Billy's voice was concerned, but I did not answer. Amelia made a noise in the back of her throat; a soft whimper of fear and confusion.

The sound woke me from my stupor, and everything that had been hazy around Amelia cleared up. I could see Billy starting to wheel his way past Amelia, and Phil stood behind his daughter with a look that told me he thought I was crazy.

"Sorry, Dad.... Just wanted to come up and tell you I was heading into Forks for a while. Don't wait up for me." I ground out the excuse through clenched teeth and turned on a heel to head back down the front steps of the porch. I retreated as quickly as I could without making too much more of a scene and wheeled my bike out of the garage. I nabbed my fingerless riding gloves from the saddlebags and yanked them on before putting myself astride the ancient Harley that had been my gift from Bella.

I tried to think of Bella as I roared the engine to life and sped off away from home. I had told Billy that I would be going into Forks, and that's where I ended up. Along the way, I did my very best to clear my thoughts, hoping that the wind in my face and ears would cool the ardor I had felt when I caught Amelia's onyx gaze. I gnashed my teeth together when I found out where my bike had taken me...

... I had pulled up to the Cullen's, and I was already being greeted by Bella and Nessie. I hoped that their company would help to ease my suffering, but before they had even reached my bike, I decided that I would just talk to Edward.

He would know what I should do. He and Bella had explained to me the self-control that Edward had used for the entirety of their relationship; perhaps Edward had some insights or advice I could use, and while it made me clench my teeth that I would be baring such a hidden part of me to the leech, I still didn't want anyone in La Push to know. Edward would keep my secret safe and hidden, and I knew I could trust him on that.