Curiosity

Chapter 6:

Alice comes to see Bella

So being the scaredy cat that I am. I went back to Charlie's. I was just not going to submit myself to Rosalie's torture just yet. Sitting on my bed in my room, still trying to figure out what I was going to do. Alice appears in my window.

"So Bella, came back home after all huh?" Alice still sounded pretty pissed off at me.

"Well I couldn't exactly stay in LaPush could I? And I know everyone is mad at me. I shouldn't have done what I did, no I wasn't thinking clearly, so you can save the lecture alright." I couldn't help being crappy toward her and felt bad the minute the words had come out. I was guilty and I knew it and here was Alice still mad, so I immediately got defensive.

"Actually, everyone is not made at you. A few of us in the house understand why you did it. What we don't understand is why Emmett of all people and of course Emmett has got some serious explaining to do. Because even if you were thinking about it, he shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that." Alice actually sounded calmer.

"Well really there is no excuse, so no one should be so understanding. If I really loved Edward this wouldn't have happened. And why Emmett, my only suggestion to that is that he gave me what Edward refused to and he did it so willingly. Why he did it, I don't know. Honestly, I mean he had Rosalie and she's perfect so why me? God, Alice, I just know Edward is so hurt and confused and I can't begin to think of why he should give me a chance to explain or tell him what happened."

"Oh you don't have to explain. Not only does Edward not fault you for what happened, he's mad at himself for allowing you to feel so unwanted that you had to turn to Emmett. But that's Edward for you, place the blame anywhere but you. Don't get me wrong he's pissed and it nearly took everything out of Jasper to keep everyone calm enough to talk instead of ripping each other apart when they all got home, but when I left Edward and Emmett where talking, Rosalie didn't come home though."

"Oh great, Edward is blaming himself. And I'm sure Rose will be looking for the first opprotunity to come looking for me, you know, when I'm unprotected."

"Umm, honestly I can't tell you what Rose is thinking. She hasn't had a coherent plan of action since she heard. Jasper said he could feel her anger mixed with hurt. Bad combination for any woman, let alone Rose. Very bad combination." Alice said more calm than ever. It still seemed odd to me that Alice was here trying to make me feel better. But that's one of the reasons I love the Cullens so much. They never stay mad for long but I felt she should be lashing out. Her being so understanding and knowing Edward was blaming himself only made me feel worse about the whole situation.

"So, Alice, do you think it would be safe for me to go to your house and try to talk to Edward?" I asked shyly.

I knew I wasn't really ready but I had to get it over with. No sense in denying the inevitable. Things wouldn't be the same now for anyone. Let alone me and Edward.

"Let me call the house first, and see how things are going." Alice pulled her cell phone, which every Cullen carried and called the house. Esme answered and said that Edward and Emmett had themselves locked in Carlisle's study "talking", and Jasper had set out to try to find Rosalie. She said she didn't think it would be best for me to come to the house until Carlisle got home, he was due back any time, and until they found out how Rosalie was going to act.

So, I'm at a stand still. I can't go to the Cullens because Rose may be waiting to rip my head off and without the doctor of the family to save me it wasn't feasible. My Jacob wasn't in LaPush for me to go running to with my latest fuck up. I have to sit here in my own mess. As they say 'I'd made my bed, now I have to lie in it'.

"Well Alice, you might as well go on home. I will be fine here. Just call me when it's safe for me to come up."

Alice looked at me worriedly. "I will, but don't do anything stupid until I call ok?"

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Chapter 7:

The Confrontation with Edward

Well, Alice called a few moments ago. It is semi-safe to go to the Cullens. Edward is still of course blaming himself. Him and Emmett had a long "talk". And Rosalie has finally made a decision to stay at a Hotel in Seattle until she calms down enough to face Emmett. Or so Alice tells me.

I'm trying to gather the courage to face up to what I have done. Carlisle has made it home, so he will be able to defuse any situation that arises. Thank goodness.


While driving to the Cullens, I am again running several explanations in my head. Still having not decided on what I am going to say to Edward to make this ok. Having thoughts of whether or not I want to. This is partly his fault. If he hadn't pushed me away. If he had just given me what I obviously needed. But my reasonable mind is telling me that if I had cared for Edward, I wouldn't have done what I did.

Slowly pulling up the drive, I'm getting more nervous by with every tiny eighth of a mile. Will he yell? Will I yell? Will we fix this? Do I want to?

Coming to a stop, I take a deep breath. You can do this Bells. You have to. No matter the outcome. You made your proverbial bed, now you must lie in it.

I get out and slowly walk to the door. They must have smelled me coming, that or heard my ancient truck, because Alice met me at the door. "Don't worry Bella, regardless of the outcome, I'm always here for you. You will always be my 'sister'."

I sighed. "Thank you, Alice. I'm still not sure what to say to him."

"Maybe you should let him talk first, and go from there." Alice so intelligently replies.

Walking into the house, I can feel the tension. Did vampires get tense? Well obviously. Your being stupid Bella. If they didn't get tense then Jasper would be a lot more relaxed. Don't you think?

I felt a sort of calm settle over me as soon as I stepped into the large living room. Must be Jasper's calming effect. Everyone is there, minus Rose and Emmett.

Where's Emmett? Did he decide to skip out? Leave me to deal with this alone? But then I had already done that to him, hadn't I?

Edward stood up from where he was sitting on the couch. He obviously had his emotions under control because I couldn't read what he was feeling on his face. Typical.

"Bella, I know what has transpired between you and Emmett. I completely understand 'why'. I have just one question I need an answer from you on." Edward paused and now took it upon himself to looked like the question he was about to ask was causing him great pain.

"Bella, do you still--- I mean are we still--- Are we --?" He, all in control of himself all the time, couldn't get the words out.

"Edward, I think I know what you are trying to ask." I replied to his unfinished question. "And to answer honestly, I have no clue. What happened between Emmett and I shouldn't have. On my way here I tried to figure out just what I would say to you. And I have nothing." I was being honest, and quite outspoken due to the audience we had.

"I understand you confusion." He wouldn't look at me.

"I, well Edward, I've been questioning myself. If I really thought of you the way I thought I did, would this have happened? Would I have been so easily distracted by someone else? Do I even have the right to ask for you forgiveness? Or a chance to make it right? Do I want one?"

He looked to Carlisle as if he had an answer. "Son, this is something that will have to be worked out between you. I cannot tell you what to do or say. But I know deep down, together you will make a decision that will benefit you both." Carlisle answered the question in Edward's eyes.

At this Esme stepped away from the staircase, where she had been watching our exchange of words. "Bella I can see you are having quite a time dealing with what has happened. However, even though I was asked not to, I feel it is my responsibility to let you know something you are unaware of."

"Esme, NO!" Edward yelled.

What is she talking bout? What is she going to say that Edward doesn't want me to know? Why does Alice all of a sudden looked like she's in pain? And why is Jasper leaving so quickly?

"Alice, are you okay?" Thankful for some sort of distraction. And at my question she went rigid. She was having a vision.

"She's coming home." Alice whispered.

Several gasps at the same time where heard, mine included. She could only mean on person.

Rosalie.

What would happen? What is this news Esme feels she must tell me? And why doesn't Edward want me to know?



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