Howling Moon

"Unca' Jake!"

Nessie's cry broke my concentration as she ran toward me with arms wide open. I scooped her up in my arms and blew raspberries, which she called 'zerbits', all over her cheeks. She giggled the most beautiful, bubbly giggle I had ever heard; she always loved visits from her Unca' Jake.

I knew that Edward could hear the trepidation in my thoughts, even as I greeted Bella and Nessie with open, loving arms. I tried to think of something else, anything else... The alphabet in Spanish, the constitution, the names of all of the family who had come to La Push to celebrate my graduation...

It didn't really work; the moment that I started thinking about the Spanish alphabet again, Edward showed up at the front door to greet me. I had Nessie in my arms and she was playing with my hair, as usual.

"Hey, Eddie-Spaghetti! What's up, Man? Thought I'd drop by for a bit!"

Edward hated it when I called him that, and I could see his eye twitching involuntarily at the awkward nickname. I could see in his tawny eyes that he knew what I'd been thinking, but he said nothing. He smirked and ruffled my hair like a big brother would to an annoying little brother. It was times like these that I completely forgot that our kinds were supposed to be mortal enemies; I suppose that time can heal things like that, too.

"So, what brings you all the way up here, Jake?" Bella's voice rang out as she led me inside. She was all smiles and I could see that while motherhood made her tired, it also made her happy. Nessie was growing up, and while she wouldn't reach full maturity for another few years, the spunky little girl now looked and acted as though she were about six. There terrible twos I had been sure to stay away from, and was glad that they were over.

"I actually wanted to talk to Ed for awhile. I heard on the news that there was a rainstorm coming at the end of the week, and I wanted to get together with him for baseball practice."

It was an outright lie, but having Bella know of my terribly angsty situation was entirely out of the question. She was not to know, and by the snickerless smirk on Edward's face, I knew that he knew this.

"Oh, well, when you two are done, why don't you sit down with us? We were just getting ready to watch 'Aristocats' with Nessie when you arrived. I'm sure she'd love for you to join us."

I smiled at Bella and then turned to Nessie, raising my eyebrows and giving her that same sunshine smile that had melted Bella's heart so long ago.

"You want me to stay and watch the kitties play music, Nessie? I'll only stay if you want me to..."

I prodded the little girl with a finger, tickling her belly. She squealed in delight and bounced in my arms. She was such a happy little girl!

"Yup!"

I put Nessie down, kissed the crown of her had, and patted her butt to usher her in the direction of her awaiting family that was gathered in the living room. I offered everyone a smile and a wave, which they returned, before going back to entertaining their little bundle of joy. I turned back to Edward and he nodded toward the stairs in silence. I followed him up to his room and instantly crashed on the cushy little couch he had there.

"Man, this sucks..." I muttered. Edward could only snicker at the terrible wording I used before taking occupying himself with rifling through his CD collection. I decided not to wait any longer, for I knew that Nessie would want me downstairs as soon as I was able; I could never deny the little girl anything she wanted, being the doting 'uncle' that I was.

I didn't say anything, but simply opened my mind up to Edward and let pass everything that had transpired within the past week, when it came to Amelia. Edward was silent, apparently listening intently to my thoughts, feeling the same feelings, but not showing it. After my thoughts came to the roiling incident that had led me here, Edward let out a sigh.

"I don't know what to tell you, Jake. It sounds very much like what happened with me when it came to Bella... Only I was hungry for something a little less.... Physical, I suppose."

Edward turned to me and I slumped down on the couch with a feeling of dread. Maybe Edward couldn't help, after all. Sure, he'd displayed a great deal of self-control with Bella, but her blood was something he could live without... My need for Amelia was something my blood sang for, and I felt emptier and lonelier with each moment I wasted without heeding that call.

"It sounds to me like you should just get it over with. Imprinting isn't the same as hearing the call of a Singer's blood. Imprinting seems to work in a completely different way. I can feel your soul deteriorating at this very minute, like you're about to die." Edward said, mirroring my thoughts, though I knew that he hadn't meant to. He was speaking for himself, this time.

I grumbled low in my throat, the sound coming out as more of a growl as I clenched my fists together. I shook my head and looked up at Edward, angry, though not at him. He knew this and didn't flinch with my sudden, barking words.

"But, I can't just -take- her!"

I lowered my tone a bit and continued through clenched teeth.

"It's -wrong-..! I don't care if I die, I'm not going to just... Just..." I finally spat it out. "I'm not going to just throw her over a table somewhere and mount her! I don't even KNOW her!"

Edward didn't flinch at my words, and I couldn't tell if he was just shocked to hear them, or merely mulling over what I said. He understood that the urge to take Amelia for my own was overwhelming and that no matter what I did to occupy my time, I would always think of her.

"Then why not just court her? If you think you can stand to be around her and quell that urge, then court her. Maybe she'll come around to her own and -ask- you for it, then you won't feel so bad. If it works out, great... If not, oh well."

Edward's flippant attitude toward it made me growl again, but I knew that he was right. I was mostly worried about taking Amelia against her will, and despite the circumstances, I would still consider that a rape charge under my belt that I'm sure Charlie wouldn't approve of. I calmed down a bit and looked up at Edward.

"So... What do I do? How do I keep from wanting to hike up her skirt every time I see her?"

"Well, I don't think you can stop the feeling, Jake, but you have self control-- I've seen it in action. You're a very strong-willed person, and I think that if you put your mind to it, you can control those urges... Bottle them up. If you find you're having way too much trouble, then you're more than welcome to do some self-control exercises with Carlisle, Bella, and Nessie. Just don't stop trying to court her. If you can't see her, then send her flowers or letters professing your love."

I knew Edward didn't generally talk so much; I really hadn't heard him say anything quite so lengthy in the time I'd known him, but he seemed genuinely concerned about my situation. Perhaps it was because it was so close to the one he'd been through while Bella was human, that he felt some sort of obligation to help me out. His self-control had paid off, in the end, and I'm sure he hoped that it would pay off for me as well.

I was hopelessly in love with Amelia; something that the imprinting had caused within me. It was like an electrical jolt had awakened some part of my brain and rewired it. Instead of being hopelessly in love with Bella, I was now thinking of Amelia. In thoughts and fantasies that had only been reserved for Bella, I was now replacing her name with Amelia's. I'm sure Edward felt a bit relieved, at this, and I suppose that his happiness over the situation gave him more reason to help me through it all.

I resigned myself to taking what Edward had said to heart, and thanked him for his help. I promised that if I ever felt that I was getting out of control, I would come over and do the self-control exercises that were helping Bella and Nessie through their own urges, no matter how different they might be. I spent the rest of the night playing with Nessie and watching Disney movies with her. Just like I had been Bella's personal sun when we were younger, Nessie was now my personal sun, and being with the little tyke helped me forget my worries for the moment, and when I left for home, I was smiling and whistling with my new resolve.