Affairs of the Heart

As Will waited, he could not help but feel a searing stab of jealously at the thought that Jem's lips were kissing Colin's rather than his own. Jem was his parabatai, his best friend, and now... lover? Did the events of the night before make them lovers? Will was uncertain, but he did know that unless he fought for Jem's affection it would all go to Colin rather than to him. And even Jem's love; Will wasn't stupid, he could see that love was already beginning to blossom between Jem and Colin, despite the fact that they hadn't even known each other for a week yet.

“Let's go!” Jem touched his elbow as he walked past him towards the Institute. As he followed Jem, he rubbed his elbow unconsciously, as though Jem's touch burned him.

“I didn't know that you were into public displays like that.” Will teased, just to break the silence.

Jem froze and blushed. “Will! I...” Jem stuttered, as he resumed walking.

“Well, you were kissing another boy on a public bridge, where anyone could see. And no, I didn't watch. I didn't need to watch to know that you two were kissing.” Will heard a touch of jealously creep into his voice and swallowed hard. He didn't want Jem knowing how he truly felt about Colin.

“Yes, we were kissing, but no one else saw! No one was around besides the two of us and Colin.” Jem hoped he sounded more sure of that then he felt; they hadn't bothered to check, just assumed that they were alone.

“What were you planning to do had I not interrupted you? Were you going to spend the night in his bed again?” Will asked, hoping he only sounded mildly curious.

Jem stropped walking entirely. “Will! I- Yes, I was hoping that we would... but I wasn't going to spend the entire night with him. Or rather I'm not planning on falling asleep in his bed again.” Turning, Jem studied his friend's face. “Are you...? Will, are you jealous of Colin? That it's his bed I wish to be in and not... yours?”

Will laughed, but it sounded forced. “Jem! You're my best friend, why should I be jealous of Colin? I do not love you, not like that at any rate.”

“Maybe not. But I am the only person you've allowed to be close to you emotionally since you left home and came to the Institute. I'm 'safe' for you to be around... and that includes our beds. We have slept in the same bed. Well, not so much these days, but when we were younger we did. Yes, I think you have every reason to be jealous of the fact that Colin is now competing with you for my affection and attention.” Jem commented, summing up Will's feelings perfectly.

“Jem...” Will sighed. “Fine. Yes I am jealous of Colin. Of the fact that your sharing your body with him... Had last night not happened I might not be so jealous of him now, but... God help me, but I want you to share your body with me and not with him! I don't want you to fall in love with him! However...” Will glanced down, then back up, meeting Jem's eyes. “I do want you to be happy, so I promise that I won't say anything to Colin directly about all this.”

Letting out a breath that he had not realized he was holding, Jem gave his friend a relieved smile. “Thank you.” He then jumped in surprise as Will kissed him. Pushing Will away, Jem stepped hastily back. “We can't! Last night was a mistake... nothing else can happen between us while I'm seeing Colin.”

“I know, I just... forget it!” Will muttered, as he brushed past Jem. “Anyway, we need to really hurry now. Charlotte will be wondering what we're up to, being out so long.” He walked as fast as he could, feeling more than seeing Jem follow him silently until they saw the Institute loom up in front of them.

Suddenly, Jem stopped. “Will! What are we going to tell Charlotte about why I left?”

Will shrugged. “That you were restless and wanted some fresh air. Even if she doesn't believe us, there's no evidence that there's more to tell than that, and so long as we insist that that's all there is to it, well...” Will shrugged again.

“She'll have no evidence against us.” Jem finished, relaxing. Hardening his resolve, Jem strode up to the doors of the Institute, and opened them, Will following close behind him.

“James Carstairs! And what exactly is the meaning of this?” Charlotte's voice rang out from the shadows near the stairs to the main floor of the Institute.

“I wanted some fresh air.” Jem replied, calmly.

“You need to rest after fighting demons! I can't have you wandering off alone...” Charlotte broke off, sighing. “In the future, if you must go out for a walk and some fresh air, make sure you take Will along with you. If you were to have an attack... you could... it would be bad if you were alone.” Charlotte finished, unable to say the word 'die'.

Jem's body seemed to want to relax and tense at the same time- relax out of relief that she wasn't mad, tense with guilt that he'd made her so worried. “I'm sorry for worrying you, and yes I will take Will along with me in the future. Or Thomas, perhaps, should Will be unavailable.” Jem added, just for the sake of naming a backup. He had no intention of going anywhere with Thomas that wasn't for an assignment, or shopping trip.

But Charlotte did not know that, and readily agreed that Thomas could also accompany him, if need be. Then Jem followed Will and Charlotte up the steps and into the Institute itself.