Edward's Egg

Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not know Jenna Jameson, nor am I in any association with her, and finally I do not profit from her name being mentioned here.

Bella pulled into the gravel drive way of Jacob's house, she smiled at the red farm house which aroused fond, recent memories of Jacob's unpaid services.

She turned to "Edward," placing a hand ontop of it's unearthly smooth surface, "You've been a bad boy for not staying in your seat belt."

It was true, the sphere had rolled out of buckled seat belt several times, this would only surprise Bella.

"Oh well," she said scooping "him" up, "We're just going to have to have a looonggg talk about this on the way back," she opened her rusty door and slammed it shut.

She slipped "Edward" between her knees and used them as a temporary vice, her loins tingeling mildly reminiscincing of the night before and slipped her auburn hoodie over her head. She then retrieved "Edward" and stuffed him into her front pouch. Giving a suggestive illusion.

She walked up to Jake's house, nearly breaking her leg over a pebble.

He burst out the screen door before she knew it. A white, wide smile blessing his jovial face, his jet black hair falling down his shoulders, "Bella!"

She stuffed her hands into her sweat shirt pouch preventing her sphere from rolling out of either side, "Jacob!" she ran up to him and hugged him tightly, the image of her motor cycle complete and shining blazed in her mind. She felt the ball press firmly agaisnt both of their bodies, preventing movement.

"Bella," he said, rhetorically, as though enchanted by her scent.

"So," Bella smirked, "How're the bikes coming?"

He broke their embrace hesitantly, "They're coming great! I cleaned out the garage a bit before you came," he blushed.

"Aww, you're too good Jacob."

They started walking towards the garage exchanging fond glances, "So Bella," he began furrowing his brow, "What'cha got in your sweat shirt?"

Bella's face turned beat red and her eyes shifted back and forth as she choked a cough, her heart racing with excitement, "Um...I'll show you when we get to the garage."

"Oh come on Bells, just show me now!" He jeered, playfully.

"No!" Bella cried happily, racing for the garage, giggles spilling out of her with every step.

"Oh no you don't!" He rushed after her, grabbing her from behind, she cried giddily in protest and he turned her around, lifting her over his shoulder. She clutched "Edward" tight so he wouldn't slide out reveiling himself prematurely. Jacob felt the object dig into his chest as he barreled for the garage, Bella kicked and screamed the entire way.

He opened the door, bending his knees so Bella wouldn't hit her head on the frame and set her down before him.

She scowled at him, furrowing her fine brows, "Jacob Black! That was-"

"Awesome?"

"No it-"

"Was the most fun you've ever had?"

"No! It was totally-"

"And completely nessecary."

"Grr!" She pushed him playfully. He laughed as she was unable to budge him even a bit.

"You're infuriating Jake, but we're in the garage, so I'll show you what's in my sweat shirt."

She rotated the ball in her hands while they were still inside her pouch. Her eyes darkened, Jacob gave her a curious look.

She withdrew the ball out of her pouch and held it to Jacob with both hands.

Jacob glared at the ball as if searching for something. He grew silent, his face hardening.

"Jacob?" She said after an intense second. She felt insecure suddenly with her spehere thrust out so far from her, as if she were dangeling her own child by a thread.

The silent moment was crushing. His eyes morphed from hard to angry. Bella felt her eyes water as she knew his anger was directed at her.

"Bella," His voice a command, "Throw that ball into the Ocean."

She crushed the ball to her breast, "No!"

***

On a distant isle located where the sun was constant with out the blemish of clouds, where the water was still and a solid blue was a small bungalo where an old lecherous hermit resided.

However perverted he was a skilled fighter and had trained Goku and others of the Z-fighters through out the years of battles. The wife of Goku, Chi Chi and her father the Ox King took temporary residence at the old master's house, while Goku trained with King Kai in the other dimension. He also allowed a few close friends, the bousterous genius Bulma, and an equally perverted bi-pedal big Oolong to stay while the training of the Z fighters went on.

As of now, we find the perverted master rested on his porceline thrown, partaking in a daily ritual he was most found of.

He flipped open the pages of his play-boy magazine, jerking his meat to the images of Jenna Jameson's plastic like body as his lower regions pushed and prodded his waste to exit.

He laughed maniacally, "Heh heh heh Home-made blumkin!! Heh heh heh!"

He then heard an irritating pounding on the door of the bath room, "You old perv! Do you have to do this every morning! I wanna showerrrr!!" Bulma cried, impatient as ever.

Roshi groaned, sweat forming on his brow, angered that he was distracted from his favorite form of multi-tasking.

The muffled voice began again, "Dammit you take so long it's disgusting! I need to brush my hair!"

His white brows arched as the tension in his nether regions increased, 'Damn woman, let an old man shit in peace!"

His turd fell into the water, screwing up his equation for shit+orgasm at the same time.

"Dammit Bulma you made me mess up!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, and frankly I don't want to know because whatever you're doing it there it has to be gross so I'm just going to walk away."

He heard the tell-tale foot steps and sighed in relief and thought, "Well, maybe I can get one thing right."

He began to beat himself furiously, his eyes scanning deviously over the pages of the magazine. His gaze centering on Jenna Jameson's too perfect rack.

"Here I come!"

"Roshi! Roshi old boy can you hear me?" He heard the familiar, however unwanted voice in his mind.

"Kami? Is that you?"

"Yes, and I bring urgent news!"

Roshi gathered some toilet paper, "What is it?"

"There was an immense disturbance with the one starred dragon-ball."

He wiped himself thoroughly, sweat forming on his brow in worry and the fury of an unrequited orgasm, "What kind of disturbance?"

"Well, it felt as though some one was tampering with the dragon ball. So I sent Piccolo to search for this disturbance which led him to Forks, Washington. After that, niether of us remember a thing, which is strange because Piccolo returned to Gohan with out a scratch later that night, he just does not remember returning."

"Hmm," said the hermit as he pulled his shorts up, "this is serious."

"Yes, I want you to send Bulma to retrieve the dragon ball immediately."

"Alright, but I don't think she should go alone. This disturbance sounds serious, she'll certainly need an escort."

"Good point, I would send Piccolo but he's still recovering. Very well, I will stop Mr. Popo from training Tien, Yamcha, Krillin, and Chotsu until you have all seven dragon balls.

"But you can't stop their training! What if-"

"We don't know how serious this is Roshi, what if it's a Saiyan ally?"

Roshi nodded, "Good point," he adjusted his belt and put on his glasses, "Alright Kami, send the fighters here, I'll have Bulma prepare herself."

"Very good Roshi, good bye for now."

The connection was cut off.

Roshi flushed the toilet and sped out the bathroom door.

"Bulma!"

Bulma sat on the couch fuming. She turned to him, "Why were talking to your-" her nose wrinkled, "Grosss!! use that spray I put in there every now and then will you!"

"Bulma, I need to tell you something! It's about the dragon balls!"

Bulma's face turned serious in response to Master Roshi's tone, "What is it?"

"Kami told me that some one had tampered with the one starred dragon ball! I need you to go get the dragon ball right away before it's too late!"

Bulma frowned, "But it could take weeks for me to find it!"

Roshi shook his head, "No, it won't, Kami told me it's in Forks, Washington."

"Oh so that's who you were talking to while dropping a log,"

"Heh heh yeah," he muttered hoping she wouldn't guess his other co-activity, he turned back to serious, "The Z-fighters on Kami's look out are on their way right as we speak."

Bulma took a breath absorbing the moment, "Wow...alright, this is pretty scary."

He nodded, his sun glasses gleaming.

***

High a top the look out the four earthly warriors Tien, Yamcha, Krillen, and Chotzu waged a small war agaisnt eachother. Kicking, dashing, dodging, they fell across Kami's look out, the image of the fallen Saiyan Raditz burning terribly in their minds, pushing them harder.

Mr. Popo strode towards them from Kami's chambers a serious grimace touching his black face. He stood before the fray and with one word he stopped the training, "STOP!"

The warrios looked at him with sudden, unexpected fear despite their laborous months of training.

"Kami has summoned you all, you must stand before him at his chambers."

Three of the warriors made awed sounds, all except for Yamcha.

"But...we need to keep training! I must master the art of the wolf-fang-fist!" Said Yamcha striking a fighter stance.

Mr. Popo's expression remained unmoved, "Something has happened that calls for your immediate attention."

Tien's, Chotzu's, Yamcha's and Krillen's expressions suddenly turned even more serious having no idea what to expect.

Mr. Popo turned, "Follow me..."

They followed behind the small, round man. The sun being unhindered by clouds baked the white tiles of the look out, making it almost unbearibly hot with the training, all four of them sported a new tan...all except for Popo.

They approched Kami's chambers, the old Guardien emerged, his staff taping on the ground. The warrios took in a breath, their hearts pounding, all minds thinking the same thought, "What could possibly be important enough to interrupt our training?"

Kami righted his posture and knitted his green brows, his face grave, "I have post-poned your training to tell you that there has been a disturbance with the one-starred dragon ball."

"A disturbance," Tien began, all three of his eyes wincing with anger at the possibilities forming in his mind.

"Yes, a disturbance so profound it caused Piccolo and I to go into catatonic shock."

The four warriors gasped individually.

Before any of them could remark Kami continued, "Luckily Piccolo remembers the location of the disturbance, and he told Bulma to prepare to go to this location with her dragon radar and find the one-starred dragon ball."

They gave a serious stare to Kami.

He began again with an inhale his tone becomin even more somber, "Roshi then brought to my attention the seriousness of this disturbance, we don't know what it is, so it is safest to assume the worst. With Bulma's weak power-level she will need an escort to go with her on her quest. You four have the highest power-levels on this Earth, just under Piccolo. I would send him but he needs to recover from his shock...as do I. So that leaves you four. You all must assist Bulma on her search. You four must go now to Kame House where you will depart."

Tien and Krillen's minds rolled in horror, "Traveling with Bulma, Kami no!!"

Yamcha smirked to himself, "Bought time I got laid!"

Chotzu smiled, "Yay traveling with Tien!"

The awkward silence created by the warriors' speechless thoughts were broken by a fart. Everyone turned their head to Mr. Popo who wore an evil grin remembering the dinner from the night before.

Krillen cuckled muttedly but recieved a glare from Tien and stopped with a cough.

Kami cleared his throat, "Now, Tien, Yamcha, Krillen, and Chotzu, you four, like me are the gaurdiens of this planet! Go now! For the sake of the Earth, and of the Dragon Balls find this disturbance and put and end to it!"

Chotzu climbed into Tien's arms, the warriors all said in unison, "Right." and took off in a dash, a trail of white light behind them.

After the wind died down from their departure Popo farted again.

"Must you?" asked Kami, who had turned to return inside of his chambers.

"But Kami, the stew you made last night was simply divine." Popo said with a smile.

Kami would have blushed if he wasn't green, "Really? Perhaps I'll make it again tonight."