In the Gardens of Asherat

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Terre D'Ange, or it's inhabitants! Kushiel's Legacy is the sole property of Jacqueline Carey!


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I awoke to a summons on a silver platter, and the still warm impression in the bed next to me where Joscelin had lain. I paused for a moment to inhale the musky scent of him, while Clory, my chambermaid shifted nervously from one foot to the other. I dimly remembered dreams of iron and blood, and bronze wings beating in time with my racing heart, as I took a closer look at the scroll. The handwriting was as unmistakable as the scent that brought the blood to my cheeks in a dizzy rush. Melisande. With shaking hands I broke the wax seal, and Clory bowed out with due haste, I can't imagine what expression my face held. The note was simple, and her flowing script immaculate.


~Phedre,
Asherat has granted me sanctuary, but I am a scion of Kushiel. As I have sworn, I remain in this guilded cage. For the safety of my son, the oath remains unbroken. Meet me 7 days hence in the gardens of Asherat of the Sea. I swear in Kushiel's name that you will come to no harm.

~M


My heart hammered in my chest like the tiny dove's had against my fingers right before I released it to Naamah. What was Melisande's game? I pressed my hand to the hollow of my throat, where her diamond had lain. Was I sworn to her, that she might order me to her side again, after all I had withstood in Drujan? And Imriel, would he look at me with hate in his eyes if I succumbed, and let her place her leash on me again. Elua! I closed my eyes against the fresh wave of desire that coursed through me, unbidden. Her scent still wafted up to me from the vellum I held. Shivering, I hastily stowed the note in my desk and started packing.


~~~~~~


I pondered what in Elua's name I would say to Joscelin during my morning toilette. I could no more ignore this summons than erase the scarlet mote of Kushiel's Dart from my gaze. After dressing in a simple day gown of pale rose silk, I caught my hair up in a Lover's Haste knot and went to seek them out. I found Joscelin in the gardens with Imriel, training him in the Cassline forms. I daresay Imri has grown a full head taller in the last few months; I reminded myself to commission another small wardrobe for my goatherd prince. Favrielle would undoubtably be wroth with me, for Princes must needs dress well. I paused at the edge of the patio, and watched silently as they continued through the intricate patterns. Imriel was taking well to the Cassline disciplines, a bit unsteady, but gaining confidence. Joscelin patiently corrected Imri's stance, and then flashed me a smile that caused my cheeks to heat. His summer-blue gaze caught mine, and I had to look away, resting again on Imri as he practiced a particular movement over and over, adjusting to the difference. He has his mother's grace. Sapphire-blue eyes met mine, and the love outpouring from them made my heart skip a beat. Oh my brave boy, what in Elua's name am I doing? A haze of red obscured my vision, and I raised my hand to my lips blindly.

\"Phedre?\" I turned back to Joscelin, he was searching my face. \"Are you well?\" Strange laughter bubbled up within me, I choked it back and met his gaze wordlessly. Imriel had stopped mid-turn, cheeks gone pale under their tan.

\"Phedre? What is it?\" Wooden practice daggers forgotten at his sides, he crossed the short expanse of lawn between us, and peered up into my face. Still unable to speak, I put my hands on Imri's shoulders, and kissed his ruffled forehead. Joscelin appeared an instant later, concern etched into his face. I could not bear it, and as I opened my mouth to speak, Eugenie rang the bell for the morning meal. I was so startled, I blurted the first thing that came into my head.

\"Come, let us break our fast, and I will tell you.\" Joscelin blinked, and Imriel perked up at the mention of food. I turned without another word and hastily retreated into the salon.

~~~~~~

\"Phedre, no!\" Imriel's cry echoed Joscelin's; I shuddered against the weight of their horrorstruck gazes.
I mustered the courage to look up at Joscelin first.

\"You know I cannot unmake what I am.\" I whispered, hating the way my voice broke over the words. Twin white lines formed at the sides of his mouth, the plate of food abandoned in front of him. Imriel threw his goblet into the fireplace, where it shattered amongst the low flames, sparkling in the shadows. Joscelin and I froze, dumbstruck at this show of temper. Make no mistake, Imriel is a child of Kushiel's as well. Joscelin rose, impassively crossed his arms and glared down at him. Imriel hung his head, mouth set in a mutinous line, tears welling up. I went to his side, and tried to touch his arm. He flinched back, so I merely sat beside him, and spoke softly.

\"Imriel,\" he winced, \"I am what the gods made me. It is Kushiel who has marked me as his own.\"

\"You're a fool!\" he spat back, blue sparks catching in his hair, reflecting in his eyes. I did not disagree.

\"Well,\" I sat back, \"you have called me somewhat worse in the past.\" I eyed him warily as he worked through it, brow furrowed in the familiar Courcel frown.

\"Is it Kushiel who is telling you to go?\" He finally asked, almost desperately. I shook my head, perplexed.

\"I don't know; Imri, it's not always like that. I am compelled to go, I'm not sure if it is Kushiel's will, or my own nature.\" I met his gaze, the conflict on his face echoing in my heart.

\"You know it is not my wish to cause you pain, it is my curse.\" I whispered. Joscelin straightened his shoulders and spoke up harshly.

\"I must pray.\" He vanished out the door without another word. My heart grinding to bits, I hoped I'd see him again before I left.
Imriel began to eat breakfast, the hunger of a growing youth overriding the immediate upset, and I sat to pick at mine, unable to keep my mind from wandering back to the cold resignation on Joscelin's face.

He did not come to me that night, even though I was to leave in the morning for Marsilikos, and from there, La Serenissima. I made arrangements with the last of my chevaliers, Ti Phillippe, to accompany me, and dispatched my swiftest courier to ride ahead to Marsilikos and book passage on the next available ship to La Serenissima. I also penned a swift note to Severio Stregazza, begging for some lodging on short notice. I'd feel safer knowing I had a secure place to stay outside of Asherat's Temple.

Imriel came to somewhat of an accord with it, scratching at my door like he used to in the zenana late at night. I called softely for him to enter. He stood just at the edge of the lamplight, toes wandering through the rich carpet next to my bed. I patted the spot next to me, and Imri climbed up, all gangly limbs and unruly waves. I hugged him close, marveling at how much he'd grown since we'd first met. I placed a soft kiss on his brow, and he spoke up from under my chin.

\"Did she mention me?\" My heart broke anew.

\"Yes, of course she did.\" I murmured. \"She spoke about your safety, and the oath she abides by.\" He drew his knees up to his chest and regarded me over them.

\"And what did she say to you?\" There was a sharpness to his face. \"Why must you go?\" I reached over and touseled his hair, smoothing it from his brow. I knew better than to dissemble, not with Melisande's son.

\"I cannot ignore her.\" I stated it simply. Imriel nodded mutely, eyes grave.

\"You still love her.\" It was not a question. It was my turn to nod without a sound. Imriel clung to me, burying his head into my arms. \"I don't want you to leave!\"

\"I'm sorry, Imri.\" I kissed him again, my heart bleeding. I was, too. I held him for a long while, stroking his hair and treasuring the few remaining moments left that will be like this. All too soon, he stood and headed reluctantly towards the door. Imriel paused before he reached the edge of the lamplight, turning back and gazing at me with tear filled eyes.

\"Phedre, come back. Just, please come back.\" Desperation made his tone harsh, and I shivered at the Kusheline edge to it.

\"I will, I promise, Imri, I will always come back to you.\" He nodded, somewhat mollified, meeting my eyes without flinching. I blew him a kiss, trying to ignore the depths of pain I saw reflected in his jeweled stare.

\"Goodnight.\" He managed a smile, and closed the door softly behind him. I sat up for a long time, listening for Joscelin, but he never appeared. Just as I drifted to sleep, I remembered to wonder what Melisande was plotting.

~~~~~~

I awoke with a red rose on my pillow, and Joscelin sitting at the window, shining, wheat gold hair freshly washed, dressed all in gray. I could smell lavender in the air, and I smiled, blinking uncertainly in the light as he came towards me. He sat carefully on the edge of the bed as I fingered the soft petals, inhaling the intoxicating fragrance.

\"A truce?\" He cocked an eyebrow at me. \"I want to say that while I don't like overmuch that you are going to see her, you know my mind on the subject. But, you are what Elua made you - and your lord Kushiel as well,\" he added hastily as I arched my eyebrows in return.

\"Beware, Phedre; I do not wish harm to befall you.\" He spoke gravely; there was a bleakness in his eyes. I wondered if he expected me to return. I moved closer to him on the bed entwining my arms around his neck.

\"My Perfect Companion.\" I murmured, as I leaned in to kiss him. He stiffened at first under my touch, but quickly relaxed and returned my embrace. His lips tasted of honey, and I caught my breath, stung by the sweetness of it.

\"I love you, Joscelin Verreuil.\" I nuzzled into his neck.

\"And I, you, Comtesse Phedre no Delauney de Montreve.\" he whispered softly. I smiled against his cheek, breathing in the scent of him.

\"Forgive me my weakness.\" I regarded him gravely. \"Truly, Joscelin, I have no wish to harm you, or Imri.\" He shook his head.

\"I know, Phedre, just don't let her put her leash on you.\" I shuddered involuntarily, and burrowed closer into his warmth.
I didn't know what awaited me in La Serenissima. I clutched at my throat, where her diamond had hung.

\"I'll come back,\" I blurted out, suddenly, surprising us both with it's vehemence. \"I swear it in Elua's name, Joscelin.\" Joscelin's arms fell away as I rose and kissed him fleetingly before retiring for my morning toilette. Even I could hear the desperation in my voice. Mayhap she didn't need to.

~~~~~~

We departed for Marsilikos later that morning, Phillippe and I. I chose anonymity with one of my lighter carraiges; a glossy black trap with no insignia, drawn by 4 matched blood bays, gifts of the Tsinganos that had traveled with Hyacinthe, Joscelin, and I; seemingly another lifetime ago. The interior was lined with sangoire velvet, with heavy drapes in the same color over the windows for privacy. In truth, the trip was uneventful; Phillipe sat up top, leaving me alone to ponder my situation. I fingered the fabric of the curtain closest to me, peeking out into the countryside. I was nervous, I will admit; my stomach churned sickly with all the possibilities Melisande could have to summon me. She mayhap planned to escape, or to ensnare me in some way, or to gain control of Imriel, I could only guess; I had not told my queen where I was going, or why. Ysandre would not tolerate traitors, her own great Uncle, Prince Benedicte had tried to usurp her throne, seeking to place an heir of pure blooded D'Angeline lineage in her stead. He'd wanted Imriel to inherit Terre d'Ange; Melisande had had a hand in that as well. I shivered, imagining Ysandre's impassive face, violet eyes cold as she learned of this new treachery. I touched the hollow of my throat, where Melisande's diamond had lain, and let the curtain fall back into place, plunging the carraige into darkness again. We traveled throughout the first day, stopping to camp late in the evening at a small traveler's inn. Phillippe made all the arrangements; it was all I could do to hold my head up, so heavy with exhaustion. We kept this pattern for the remainder of the journey... traveling all day, an inn or camping under the stars at night.

Far sooner than I was ready, we had arrived, and I emerged, blinking from my carraige as Phillippe escorted me down the short stair and onto the quai. He made arrangements to stable the horses and conversed with the Captain of the \"Sacriphant\", the ship on which I had booked passage to La Serenissima, pointing in my direction and whispering urgently for some moments. I stood motionless amidst the bustle, staring at the name painted ornately on the side of the ship. Sacriphant. Melisande's kin. I wondered if it was by chance that I was sailing at her bidding on a ship bearing her cousin's name. I felt the brush of bronze wings, and my heart beat faster. Having reached an accord, Phillippe returned to my side, blue eyes sparkling as he suppressed a grin, and took my arm, escorting me to visit my factor, whose address I'd given Severio to respond to. His missive was waiting for me; it seemed he and his lady wife had a bungalow not far from the Temple of Asherat of the Sea, it would do nicely for a seasonal lease. He even graciously offered his staff to me, no questions asked. I heaved a sigh of relief, knowing my lodgings were secured, and allowed Ti Phillipe to escort me to back to the dock, where my trunks were being loaded onto the ship. The Captain, a sharp featured Serenissiman close to my own age, with dark eyes that took my measure in a glance, approached with alacrity and bowed over my hand.

\"My lady,\" his black hair curled over his forehead as he straightened again, not releasing his somewhat sweaty grip on my hand. His gaze was intent, taking in the scarlet mote in my left eye. \"May I have the honor of escorting you aboard my ship?\" I smiled politely. He was handsome in a Serenissiman way, and it was obvious that he recognized me. They told stories about me still, in Caerdiccia Unitas.

\"Yes of course, my lord Captain...?\" I arched one brow delicately. He cleared his throat, clutching his hat a little too tightly, a muscle jumped in his jaw.

\"Fiorello Vizzencia.\" his words came a little too quickly, and a blush heated his swarthy complexion unbecomingly.

\"Please, do call me Fiorello, my lady.\" His gaze raked my form again, and he licked his lips. He had taken my measure indeed; I daresay the Captain hoped pluck a Night Blooming Flower for himself. I hid a smile and caught Ti-Phillipe's grin out of the corner of my eye. Elua, young men! The captain shook himself out of his reverie, and spoke up again as he lead me across the salt crusted boards of the dock, to help me aboard the ship.


\"I do hope, Contessa, that you will find your cabin satisfactory.\" The warmth in his voice belied the strain in his touch as he patted my arm solicitously.

In truth, it was a welcome relief to have my own quarters. The hempen strands of my hammock cradled me like a babe as I swayed in time with the sea. Phillippe was a welcome addition on that voyage, I daresay, he was in his element. It didn't take long for the crew to realize that he was an expert sailor, and he took turns manning the rigging, and at the oars, pleasing the Captain Fiorello greatly. For his part, the young captain remained cordial, showering me with compliments and trying, in vain, to gain my favours. Had I been younger, and without attachment, I may have; the dark intensity of his eyes reminded me of Fortun, my chevalier. Remy and Fortun, slain by Prince Benedicte's command. Ti-Phillippe was the last remaining.

Alas, to the Captain's chagrin, my heart did not warm to him, for it was Joscelin's face that rose unbidden in my mind, summer blue eyes wide with pain. And Melisande's deadly allure, her glorious eyes the color of sapphires, pity and inexorable cruelty in her gaze. My heart beat faster as I gazed out across the sea. She had always known my deepest nature, Melisande did. As I did hers. I could not fathom what she was about. Restlessly, I paced the deck, chewing the inside of my lower lip, and staring morosely into the distance, lost in thought. Thankfully, the rest of the trip went swiftly and uneventfully, and soon we arrived at the port of La Serenissima.