You Thought I Didn't Want You

Title: “You Thought I Didn’t Want You”
Author: Liebeslied Engel, copyright © 2007 S.E.J.
Fandom: The Fire’s Stone (novel) by Tanya Huff
Pairing: Darvish/Aaron
Category: UST finally resolved
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 for graphic depictions of sexual acts and homoeroticism.
Summary: Aaron conquers his upbringing, as Darvish conquers Aaron’s resistance.
Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters, Ms. Huff and her publishers do. I’m merely borrowing them in order to take their relationship to the next logical step after the novel’s end.
Notes: It needed to happen. Because while I am a sucker for gayngst, the romantic right-putting of things also makes me all schmoopy.



At Aaron’s insistence, Darvish and Chandra took a year to just be married while he lived elsewhere in Ischia so as not to be a distraction. The prince was the most begrudging in agreeing to this arrangement, especially since his new bride was not only accepting of the triad, but rather in favor of it. She understood the love she and Darvish had was platonic, their marriage one of political strategy. But the bond the two men shared had been tempered in danger’s forge, the passion-flames there fueled by a very real love. A love to which Aaron wasn’t completely ready to admit out loud or surrender, hence the wait; he needed to reconcile within himself the teachings of the god of his father that had been drilled into him since childhood, and the deep feelings he held for Darvish but had yet to voice. He hoped the time and distance would give him the courage he needed to drown out the priests’ voices of his youth and accept that these emotions and desires were not abhorrent.

The pre-arranged time of his reunion with the prince was fast approaching, and he sat staring at the blank leaves of paper in front of him, his brows wrinkled in weary discontent. He’d spent many nights over the past year trying to compose his thoughts, but hadn’t conjured a single word that satisfied him, as if they all had a mind to thwart his efforts. He’d never had a way with words, so finding the right ones after a lifetime of repression became an even more daunting task. And truth be known, even if he had them, he wouldn’t know how or where to begin his articulations. Instead he resolved to act more within his thief nature and improvise, roll with the punches as they came. He began to relax after making that decision, able now to re-steel his nerves and rebuild his confidence. Rising, he rubbed the unrest from his eyes and settled into the bed to watch the stars of the Nine out his solitary window, counting them down in their dance until Darvish arrived.

When at long last a knock sounded at his door, he’d completely regained his hard façade, but absent was the distant cold that until now had always accompanied it. In its place was a kind of serenity, one that threatened to put his walls back in place. He fought them down though, knowing how disheartened they made Darvish, and how counterproductive they would be this particular evening.

Seeing the prince on the other side of the doorway almost shattered that veneer of collected control. Aaron hadn’t realized how much he’d missed the other man, or considered how much stronger his longing would become in the interim. Darvish had let his hair grow out again, so that the loose ringlet curls fell in an ebony wave well past his broad shoulders. From his ear hung a solitary ruby set in silver wire, and his winter-blue eyes shone with an almost giddy anticipation, made brighter by his dark, native Cisalian complexion. He was just as breathtaking as he’d been at first sight, causing Aaron’s knees to weaken.

Over the door’s threshold, Darvish too stood captivated. He drank in the way Aaron’s pale skin nearly glowed in the starlight, the red hair like a flame atop his head, his eyes the color of ashes. It was this exotic look that first stirred Darvish’s attraction, but what had sustained it was the challenge. The thief had been so resistant, so closed off, that the pursuit thrilled the king’s third son when he had precious little else to thrill him. He’d seen his own pain in those grey eyes, and craved not only the chase, but the understanding that would inevitably come with the conquest. Now, after so long without this man, his love and desire were strong as ever, and it took all his royal presence to keep his powerful body from trembling.

The two stood for a time on either side of the door, feeling as though they could almost hear the thoughts of the other. The shared gaze stirred the heady tension in the room to nearly tangible heights, and after moments that seemed eternal, Aaron broke the silence with a breathy whisper.

“Dar…” The larger man growled the other’s name deep in his chest, and it was though a canon had fired when he lunged into the room. Finding his target, the sudden pressure of his lips caused the outlander to stumble back from the door. Aaron had intended to say more than the name, but now couldn’t bring himself to pull away from the kiss. At first he thought it only for Darvish’s sake, to spare the prince’s fragile feelings, but soon conceded to the true reason. He needed this love and passion, the only things able to fill the void in his soul. He wordlessly thanked any deity who cared to listen to have found this answer.

Kicking back one muscled leg to shut the door, the prince continued his advance, propelling this man he loved but had yet to love back onto the bed. As they landed on the mattress, a flurry of hands desperate to further the intimacy began to explore beneath clothing. Darvish dragged his fingers along Aaron’s breastbone, marveling at how well the coal burns there had healed in the past year. Still, touching those circular scars brought him back to their first few days in each other’s company. Although the specifics of memory were sadly wine-hazed now, the desires behind them were as fresh as when he first saw Aaron’s slight body in his bed. The urges he felt then he’d had to keep at bay to satisfy elsewhere, but now he was free to experience what he’d wanted all along. Sliding his hand lower he found that the front of light muslin pants had begun to swell.

The wearer of the garment took in a shuddering breath, as the touch of a strong hand there was foreign, yet somehow as it should be. The tremor lingered on as the other man’s fingers curled through fabric around Aaron’s rapidly growing erection, and he couldn’t help the soft whimper that escaped his throat into the kiss.

Darvish gave a light chuckle in response, which melted to a low moan as lithe fingers threaded themselves in his hair. They continued, trailing down the curve of his ear and giving the jewelry there a gentle yet firm twist that deepened his moan to a primal growl. He tightened his grip on the bulge of Aaron’s pants, and that pale hand jumped to his shoulder, digging its nails in hard. Darvish had to pull away then, sucking in a sharp breath through his teeth. Suddenly feeling the heat in the room, he disengaged his hand and pulled the burgundy silk tunic over his head in a single fluid motion. Now evident were the efforts he’d made to regain his swordsman’s physique since loosing the wine-chains a year ago, the muscles seen there developed and firm. His eyes met Aaron’s then, the grey made all the more striking when allowed to shine with such lust.

“Aaron,” the prince breathed, “I love you.” Red eyebrows a shade lighter than hair furrowed the slightest bit, and that lusty shine wavered to a shimmer as tears began to well. A gentle smile came to Darvish’s lips, and he pulled slender frame to his chest. As he felt the warm stream of tears roll down his torso he buried his face in the copper strands of Aaron’s hair, whispering further professions.

“This last year without you was torture, my love. Chandra still isn’t convinced sex won’t interfere with her wizardry. Oh we consummated the marriage and all, but beyond that there’s been nothing to slake my appetite.” Aaron lifted his gaze to the prince then, a baffled yet awestruck look showing there. “Yes, I’ve been waiting for you. As it turns out dropping the wine was only a first step.” Darvish cradled the smaller man’s chin in his hand, his lips turning up in an almost regretful smile. “I realized how empty it had been sleeping with all the others. For so long I was searching for love, hoping it would come with those bodies, but it wasn’t until you that I did find it.”

Once again the despairing comfort his emptiness always brought began to leave Aaron’s soul. He wished he’d given writing one more try, an adequate response nimbly eluding him. “Dar, I… I don’t have the words yet…”

The prince pet his hair with the softest touch. “Shh, I know. They’ll come, in time. Until then, thief of my heart, let me love you.”

Aaron mirrored the smile and lowered his head again. His stealthy fingers slid along Darvish’s strengthened chest, relishing the feel of this other’s skin. Darvish’s own hand dropped down, gliding past Aaron’s ribs and over his hip bone. Reaching behind the fabric this time, he encircled the other man‘s rigidness directly, his fingers mimicking an ocean wave in their sensual undulations. Despite his quickened breath Aaron managed to plant impassioned kisses on the flesh in front of him, driven on by the soft appreciative sighs that floated to him from above. Darvish then laid him down slow, cradling him with one arm as the hand of the other kept to its intimate task. He knew Aaron was more than willing, but given how new this experience was, Darvish figured his renowned charm and some gentle direction may be in order.

“How much would you say the clothes stolen right off a prince’s body would fetch in the markets?” He grinned, coyly arcing a dark brow and nodding toward his lower body, still clad in black velvet. “It would take an expert to acquire such a treasure though, would it not?” He leaned in so that his lips brushed Aaron’s ear as he spoke. “I know of only one man with such prowess, and I’ve got my hand wrapped around him.” He gave Aaron’s length a squeeze and dropped his voice even lower. “Your prince has issued the challenge, thief. Will you accept?”

Aaron’s entire frame shook from the purring in his ear while his delicate ego ached to prove itself. He hadn’t cause to practice his craft in some time, as the palace provided so that he shouldn’t want for anything. His fingers easily remembered their skill though, and in seven of his accelerated heartbeats his prince lay naked beside him. The first few days he’d lain healing in Darvish’s room at the palace, the boisterous drunkard had gone without clothes in his presence as often as possible, a less than covert seduction attempt. But although he’d since seen Darvish fully exposed in more tender situations than this, now was the first time he would let himself indulge in every inch of the dark flesh before him.

“Nine above,” he muttered, having appropriated the region’s maxim.

“What?” It was less of a question than it was a push to elaborate, the lingering grin evident in the voice. Aaron raised his head to stare the prince in the eyes.

“You’re beautiful.” He swallowed and drew in his breath. “And I want you.”

Darvish imitated his wife’s habit and bit down on his lower lip. The sound of those words in that voice caused his now visible erection to stiffen even more, and he could no longer restrain himself. More clumsily than his companion had, he did away with the vexing muslin that still obscured that sought after ivory skin. He spared a moment to take Aaron in, noting that all the man’s hair was as fiery, and that for being so slender he was rather generously endowed. Seeing this man before him, willing at last, reduced his own pain to a mere distant memory of another life he’d since left behind. Passion’s ache throbbed in his loins, and those silver-grey eyes spoke volumes of invitation. Without a single word, he pounced.

Their skin burned together as the fulfillment of this this long-standing need at last began, the fire centering on the hard lengths now sandwiched between them, moving in a simulation of the more traditional act. Never having anticipated how astounding this would be, the wholly new sensations made Aaron’s eyelids flutter and his breath come in short gasping bursts. Darvish couldn’t pull his gaze away from the euphoric expression on the man beneath him, a look which drove him to deliver more intense pressure with each push of his hips. This was near culmination of everything he’d wanted of a lover, of his life. But it wasn’t quite enough. He wanted to draw Aaron even closer, and there was only one way he wished for that to happen.

Leaning forward he grazed his lips over Aaron’s neck, eliciting airy moans. After splaying his fingers across the other man’s brow he trailed them downward, tracing straight lines over the fair flesh. Aaron’s tongue darted out to tantalize those digits, and he closed his mouth around the tips as they passed. Darvish added unexpected weight to his pelvis, causing the smaller man to buck upwards at him and giving him the opportunity he’d been seeking. He let his hand suddenly drop and become trapped between the bed and Aaron’s buttocks. Gripping the supple roundness there he inched just so towards the warm opening that was his goal. He raised his head only enough to press his lips to the other man’s ear, his voice ragged with lust.

“You speak of a void, my love, of feeling empty. Give me a chance to fill you.”

Aaron’s moan quivered as much as his body at the intimation. Wrapping his arms about Darvish in a sudden need for comfort, he squeezed his eyes shut and nodded. The prince voiced his gratitude, promising a delicate progression. He began to entice the hollow with a few gentle pushes of his finger, continuing the rocking motion of his hips. Aaron held him a little tighter as his hardness gave a startling jump.

“Please, relax,” came whispered consolations. “You know I’d never hurt you. My only desire is to please you, dear thief, you who’ve stolen my very soul.” The man beneath choked back a sob. “Shh, it’s alright. Now, take a deep breath, and exhale slowly.” Aaron showed his understanding with another nod and did as he’d been told. A mere two slamming heartbeats after the air began leaving his lungs he felt Darvish’s finger enter him, reaching the first knuckle before halting its advance. He grasped at the other man’s back, forcing control over the rest of the exhalation before his breath became desperately shallow. Darvish again ground his hips down as he made sure his lover wanted to continue. A conscious clenching around his finger was all the answer he needed, and so he immersed the extremity further. To the second knuckle, then the last, his thrusts picking up gradual speed. He then pulled his finger back, paused, and started over again, the strokes growing smoother and meeting with less resistance each time.

Aaron had since tangled his hands in Darvish’s hair, not from physical pain but in reaction to the tremendous intimacy and trust that now bound the two together. Tears he’d tried to restrain wrested their way free into the prince’s curled locks as he mustered the courage to counter the motions of the hand beneath him. Darvish gasped in response to the complimentary movement.

“I’d hoped you’d take to this, but it’s so easy with you Aaron, Nine above…”

“No,” the other man’s labored voice corrected as his gaze rose to the prince’s face, “Only one above. The only one I’ll ever want or need.” The blue jewels set as Darvish’s eyes flashed then as he joined his lips with Aaron’s for the second time. His finger retreated entirely now, that hand preferring to caress Aaron’s slender jaw line instead. For a time the two were still except for their kiss, passing their breath from one body to the other. As they finished that act, Darvish gave a look that asked if the younger man was ready for the next. Aaron’s nod was the most enthusiastic the prince had seen all night. Raising himself up on one powerful arm, the man above gripped his impressive length and with the greatest of care, began this most intimate entrance.

Aaron remembered to breathe after a few moments passed. There was discomfort, but not nearly enough for him to want this to stop. Darvish had been right, this filled him, and not just in the physical sense although that was certainly true as well. He’d never experienced such love as this before, never had anyone so genuine in their care for him. Combining this intensity of emotion with the bodily experience began to wear away the last of Aaron’s private defenses, and he knew that giving himself over to another, to this other, would be the last step in healing his shattered life.

Darvish forced his eyes to stay open, wanting to witness the reaction to this first encounter. His movements were slow and deliberate to lessen any pain Aaron may feel, but he look on the face below told him he needn’t be concerned. The ecstasy was obvious even without the sliver flash of his eyes and taking that as a cue, Darvish pushed deeper. Approaching the hilt much quicker than expected, he dropped his gaze to where they now joined. The sight of that alabaster flesh surrounding his manhood quenched every desire he’d nursed for the past year, and he needed to make sure Aaron knew that.

“I wanted you the moment I saw you,” he said, his voice uneven from the pleasure. “As you lay there on the floor at my feet, I wished I could take you up in my arms. I would have brought you to my bed and loved you just as I am now. I saw your pain, saw my own, and knew that one day we would heal those wounds together. Now I have you, my thief, and I am whole, for the first time in my life. I love you more than I dreamed possible.”

Aaron’s eyes drifted open as the prince spoke, tears fresh on his ember-like lashes. He knew his words wouldn’t be nearly as poetic, but for both their sakes, he had to try. He pulled himself out of the bliss of their love-making to bear his soul.

“I wanted you too Dar. When I woke up in your room and heard the worry in your voice a piece of my walls crumbled away. That scared me, but the Aaron inside that I was guarding grew stronger. The part of me I’d always hid finally wanted to come out, finally had a reason to. But the walls were thick. But you wouldn’t give up trying to wear me down, no matter how much I pretended to stay strong. Even when your drinking and whoring hurt me, I knew it only hurt because… because…”

“Please say it.” The prince couldn’t manage above a whisper. Their eyes locked as Aaron’s body accepted the last of Darvish’s length and a tremor ran through them both. After a short series of gasps, Aaron found his voice again.

“I love you Dar. I’ve loved you since the beginning. And I’m so sorry it took me this long to tell you.” Darvish wound his arms about the body below him, pressing his face into the pale curve of Aaron’s neck.

“I would have waited the rest of my life, if that’s how long it took to hear those words.” He pressed his teeth into skin then and picked up the motion of his hips. The pressure of his muscled stomach on Aaron’s erection replicated penetration for the thief, who’d never before felt such all-encompassing rapture. His essence was naked now, exposed to his lover who now favored him with such pleasure he marveled he’d ever been able to resist. He hoisted his legs to hook them over Darvish’s thighs, the adjustment adding further pressure for both.

Darvish let out a low growl into his bite and bucked harder, pausing at full extension and rolling his pelvis from left to right and back again. Aaron cooed as a dove might, the tight ring at the prince’s base giving an involuntary spasm. Darvish moaned now, resuming his plunging strokes, long yet rapid and exciting every nerve possible. Aaron’s head leaned back and he whispered his lover’s name in time with the thrusts. Each movement brought both men rapidly closer to climax, and there was just one more aspect that would complete the intimacy. Darvish released his jaw’s hold on Aaron’s jugular and raised himself up again.

“Look at me Aaron,” he managed between panting breaths. “I need to watch your eyes.” Aaron struggled but succeeded in keeping his eyes open, locked on the prince’s. Unbridled ecstasy conquering both faces, they began to alternate their cries of pleasure, exchanging each other’s names and further words of love and passion. Aaron begged for Darvish’s finish, appealing to his royal status.

“My prince, please, I need to feel you explode inside me.” The man above clenched his teeth as he spoke.

“One abandon you, thief, you’ll get your wish.” The utter carnality in Darvish’s words drove Aaron even closer, his vocalizations quickly betraying that fact. Darvish had never heard anything as enticing as the man’s love calls, and soon he too was on the brink. A sudden flare in the blue eyes, the grey ones widening in astonishment, and neither could curtail the inevitable any longer. A tremor rattled Darvish’s muscular build as his fluid left him, a dramatic contrast to Aaron’s abrupt paralyses as the extreme sensations both inside and out fed on each other, seizing his body and giving him to release.

Darvish lowered his head again, searching for control of his breath as he landed innumerable kisses on Aaron’s sweat-beaded face. The younger man’s eyes were shut and his mouth pursed, internally fighting the urge to weep. The prince saw that battle, and offered reassurance with his own tears of joyful relief that splashed down to mingle with perspiration. When he spoke, the overwhelming emotion rendered Darvish’s voice hushed and breathy.

“This was more perfect that I could ever imagine. Thank you, my beloved, thank you for allowing me to finally have you.” Aaron‘s voice was just as labored.

“No Dar, I should thank you. You’ve shown me what was missing all along, what I needed to be complete. For that, and for all that you are, I am in your debt, till the end of my days. I love you, my prince.”

“My lover,” Darvish whispered as he lay his head on Aaron’s chest, listening to the other man’s heartbeat. Aaron inhaled deeply, his bravery at its highest, beyond even what was required in his thievery.

“My husband.” Giving fully over to the honorific’s impact, Darvish did nothing to stop the tears from shaking his entire form.

The two men shared a tight embrace as Darvish gradually composed himself, softening and slipping free of Aaron’s body in the process. Neither paid any mind to the chill the night air brought to their still fluids, the residual heat of their love enough to swallow it. In these moments of unreserved joy and repose, amidst soothing touches and dulcet words of devotion, the two fell together into sleep, neither doubting this was the first of many nights they’d exchange such ardor and passions.