Crowley & Aziraphale Drabbles

Crowley & Aziraphale Drabbles', 1296856019, 'CROWLEY & AZIRAPHALE DRABBLES



100 word drabbles



RE-ARRANGEMENT

"Uhnn, yes... just a bit more... to the left," Aziraphale panted and gave a mighty flex of his entire body.

"There?" Crowley groaned, heaving forward with great effort. "That the spot?"

"Aahh... almost... there...," Aziraphale was red-faced and sweating with exertion, but determined.

"Come on, angel," the demon whined against his ear, "it's taking... too long..." He backed away, wiping his dampened face. "You could have hired someone - "

Aziraphale gave an offended grunt. "My dear... not just anyone is allowed to touch such treasures."

"Yes, but... you could have miracled your Bible bookcase across the room, you know."



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SURPRISE CALLER

The phone was ringing. Crowley didn't even pull his head from the covers to answer it. "H'lo... sleepin'... nothin'... yeah, sleep naked, whaddaboudit..."

His eyes opened in surprise. "Do I wanna what? Hey, nobody wakes me up to pant obscenities into my ear, unless they're sleeping right next to me and equally naked, understand?"

He slammed the phone down, and promptly went back to sleep.

Twenty minutes later he was awakened by knocking at his door.

He grumblingly answered it to find a blushing Aziraphale.

The angel smiled and said, "I didn't bring pajamas." Then he kissed the stunned demon.




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A MATTER OF PROPORTION

"My dear, it's nothing to be ashamed of," Aziraphale tutted, patting Crowley on the shoulder.

The demon sighed, "Easy for you to say. Yours is bigger."

"I don't see why it's a problem at all," the angel insisted. "It's not as though we use that bit of ourselves very often anyway, so size shouldn't even be a factor –"

"Oh fine, rub it in." Crowley snarled unhappily. "In your case, it's all due to girth."

Aziraphale gasped in offence. "That is NOT the reason my wingspan is wider than yours!"

Crowley smirked. "Is too. You've got more weight to carry."



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MR. FELL'S WILD RIDE

"AAAH! Stop! It's too much!" Aziraphale yelled, panicked and clenching his fists tightly. "Please! I really can't take it!"

"Hang on, angel. It's almost done, and I can't stop it now that it's started," Crowley responded, grinning hugely. He tangled his fingers with Aziraphale's in a spontaneous show of support.

"Oh, damn you, Crowley! You knew I'd hate this! Why'd I ever let you talk me into... Finally!" Aziraphale gave a pathetic moan of relief.

He stepped shakily off the rattling Tilt-A-Whirl.

The demon laughed as Aziraphale snarled, "Never again! I really should discorporate you for that, you blasted serpent..."


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P.S.A.D. (Post-Apocalyptic Stress Disorder)

Psychologically, Crowley supposed he could blame the near ending of the world for his newfound need to count things, ticking off the moments of his continued existence. How many times he dined out with the angel. How many ducks they fed. How many bottles of wine they consumed at the bookshop.

And now Crowley watched Aziraphale reading a musty old tome, avidly counting the times he licked his thumb before gently turning pages. One hundred licks later, the demon leapt up and replaced the angel's thumb with his own serpentine tongue.

Afterward, he stopped counting and starting enjoying life again.



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Special 666 word drabble, for a Halloween contest


PRANKS OR PLEASURES

Crowley liked holidays on general principle. They were festive, offered opportunities for extra drinking, and allowed one to get away with things that were often frowned upon on normal days.

But Halloween was the best of all, especially now in the 21st century, because he could actually venture into public sans sunglasses and show off a bit of his true nature without the hassle of altering human memories. Nowadays, he could even saunter about in broad daylight on All Hallow's Eve and barely an eyebrow was raised. People smiled and complimented him on his costume when, for once, he wasn't wearing one. Mostly people just wanted to know where he'd gotten his stunningly realistic contact lenses.

(He also rarely had to deal with any serious Satanists on this day anymore. Most of them scoffed at the holiday, saying it had become too commercial.)

This year, for the first post-Apocalypse Halloween, he decided to go a little further and un-sheath his wings as well. Walking now up the darkening streets of Soho he was a fairly impressive sight, but hardly the most outrageously dressed individual. Some of the people weaving woozily down the narrow lanes, in and out of the many bars and shops, could have put a few Dukes of Hell to shame with their disgusting inventiveness. It really was amazing what some food colouring and various bits of cheap glued-on rubber could accomplish. Crowley grinned in delight at every pseudo-demonic person he passed, who greeted him with happy drunken whoops and pointing fingers and whispers of "damn, now THAT'S a great costume". And damned great it was.

He finally entered Azirpahale's bookshop, and the angel jumped in alarm when he saw the demon's appearance. "Good gracious! Crowley, whatever are you trying to do? We aren't supposed to show our true forms!"

"Like anyone would even notice tonight," Crowley grinned wider, and leaned over the countertop. His demonic aura was especially strong at the moment, as he was enjoying himself and not even trying to hide what he was. "Come on, bet you could walk down the streets, wings out too, and no one would blink an eye."

Aziraphale huffed. "Perhaps, but I shan't do so. It's in bad taste, if you ask me."

"How can you say that? We don't even look as otherworldly as half the people out there! Unless you decide to show a full-on angelic halo or flaming sword or something."

"Well... we didn't have to buy or make our forms, did we? It's just... what we are."

Crowley hooted with glee. "You're saying it's bad taste because people had to make an effort, and we didn't? Oh that's priceless. Well then, angel," he leaned over further and grabbed Aziraphale's tie in his fist. "Let's make an effort... to blend in, anyway. Come out with me. For one evening, let yourself be free. What could it possibly harm?"

Visions of snakes and apples taunted Aziraphale, who finally sighed and agreed. But the moment he produced his own wings, Crowley hissed in disgust.

"Ugh, what a mess! No way am I going to be seen in public with you looking like that. Let's get you groomed first." Before Aziraphale could protest, the demon had dragged him into the back room, pushed him onto a chair, manifested a soft brush and a spray bottle, and was fussing around behind him like a limp-wristed stylist.

After thirty minutes of plucking, prodding, and preening, the angel's wings were in better shape. And the angel himself had melted like churned dairy product, draped damply over the chair, moaning softly against his fist.

Crowley grinned in pleasure, leaning over his shoulder. "So... calling it an early night, then, are we?"

Aziraphale nodded with a tiny whimper of lust and looked up at the demon with bright, glazed eyes, begging in a way he never had before.

Oh, yes, Halloween would always be Crowley's favourite holiday. "Trick. Or treat," he growled seductively, and gave Aziraphale a taste of both.

(A/N: In the UK, it's usually only the mostly-adult pub-crawlers who dress up, not little kids.)



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Random word-length drabbles, for the following meme



1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.
2. Put iTunes or equivalent media player on random.
3. For each song that plays, write something related to the theme you picked inspired by the song. You have only the time frame of the song: no planning beforehand: you start when it starts, and no lingering afterward; once the song is over, you stop writing. (No fair skipping songs either; you have to take what comes by chance!)
4. Do 5 of these, then post.

True, I did have to stop and check the lyrics for some songs, because none are huge favourites - I only listen to them, not sing along. But once I had the lyrics, the ideas flowed out instantly and none took longer to write than the song did to play through. It was pretty darned cool. :) I also discovered an amazing number of songs in my music collection have references to heaven, hell, angels, demons, and so on. Since I didn't choose them for that reason, I guess it's due to that overused "I" word.



1. STONE COLD CRAZY (Queen) *
they got the sirens loose, I ran outta juice
they're gonna put me in a cell
if I can't go to heaven will they let me go to hell

Crowley was running for his immortal life. The Bentley screamed around a corner and headed down Camden High Street. Right into the open market. On a busy Saturday afternoon. He winced in shared agony as the human bodies went flying over the car and the screams filled his ears. But he would suffer a thousand times that agony if he was caught up by the demons chasing him.

The blood and gore and rage were actually becoming invigorating, and he deliberately swerved to take out pedestrians on the sidewalks. Might as well be hanged for a sheep...

Breathing heavily, Crowley put down the video game controller. He'd developed it, and tested it. Now it was time to push it onto the market and watch the blood pressures build just in time for the blessed Christmas season.

(* when Queen came up first, I nearly died laughing)




2. ONE (U2)
Too late tonight to drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to carry each other, carry each other

It wasn't often Aziraphale and Crowley actually went bar-crawling. Normally they stayed in and quietly drank themselves into a stupor, alone, together. But the week after the non-Armageddon, Crowley had insistently dragged the angel out on the town. They started at the top-notch places and worked their way down to the gutters. If they'd had to worry about their livers, both would have been on a donor list by the end of the week.

Eventually, a full week after the world had continued existing, Aziraphale had had enough. He saw the worry and fears still in Crowley's mind. It was broadcasting to anyone remotely psychic, let alone another occult / ethereal being. The feeling was unnecessary, but how to convince the demon of that?

He cautiously pushed Crowley into the bookshop after another long night, plopped him onto the back room sofa, and sat across his legs. When their lips met, the demon sputtered in shock. But all the fears bled away in an instant, healed by an angel's kiss.




3. IN BLOOM (Nirvana)
We can have some more, Nature is a whore
Bruises on the fruit, tender age in bloom

The girl was naïve, of course. What else could she be, being the first girl on the planet? It would be insanely easy to tempt her to disobey. Hell, she might not even have a clue she was disobeying in the first place, she was that innocent. And it made Crawly cringe to think he was going to be responsible for destroying that. He had no choice really. But maybe he could minimize the damage...

There was the fruit on the tree, the one that supposedly kept one ignorant of the world. How on earth could knowledge be a bad thing? He sure wished he'd known what to expect when he'd joined the morons who dragged him into Hell. Okay, get the girl to eat the apple, she'd wise up a little, and be able to resist any further temptations that could cause real harm. Yeah, that was the ticket. What could a simple piece of fruit to do her?

The apple, it turned out, had a metaphysical worm inside. Rotten. Sigh.





4. LOST TONIGHT (Liz Phair)
we're stuck here with nothing to do
but I lean out the window and find paradise

It was so clichéd, really. Angel and demon. Angel wasn't so pure and pristine as one ought to be. Demon wasn't anywhere near evil enough to warrant the title. They had been friends from the dawn of time, even when they'd pretended to be enemies. Armageddon had been averted and they'd stood side-by-side, against everyone else, trying to save the world. They'd done it, with surprising ease. Afterward they'd tried to go on as normal but instead wound up as lovers, never mind they were both in male bodies. They fell in and out of grace together, melding. Whatever they were, angel, demon, hadn't ever mattered very much anyway. So clichéd, really. But who cares?





5. WHEN I GROW UP (Garbage)
Trying hard to fit among you, Floating out to wonderland
Unprotected, God I'm pregnant, Damn the consequences

Aziraphale surprised himself, which he didn't think, after 6000 years, he'd be capable of. Things had changed after the world failed to end. He'd have thought things would simply go back to their old routine. But something in him had changed. It came upon him slowly, but in sudden bursts, and it was gradually gaining control of his daily actions. He found himself seizing a bit more of life - updating his wardrobe, listening to more modern music and finding that all of it wasn't dreadful.

Then he really went wild. He stopped worrying that he couldn't dance properly and just went to a nightclub and gyrated like everyone else. And when he found himself face-to-face with a surprised Crowley on the floor, he grabbed him and snogged him, publicly and without shame.

The reward for his newfound spontaneity was a trip to heaven in the backseat of a 1926 Bentley.