An Interview With the Angel & Demon

Notes: Initially a meme meant for OC''s but I really wanted to use it for Aziraphale and Crowley, and their voices took over and off we went into silliness.

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AN INTERVIEW WITH THE ANGEL & DEMON



This meme was intended for OC’s, but I don’t have any that I care to use for it, at the moment. So… Fandom beckoned.

Rules
1. Choose a few of your own characters. Five at the most.
2. Make them answer the following questions
3. Then tag three people. Feel free to do this if you like.


Characters: Crowley, Aziraphale (my fanon versions, with a dash of canon thrown in)


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1 ) How Old Are You?

A: It’s impolite to ask such a question, isn’t it?
C: Oh, give it over. it’s usually women who say that. You get something changed I need to know about? *leers*
A: *heavy sigh* Roughly 6000 years old. We both are.
C: I prefer to count my years on earth, rather than taking my... previous life into account. That makes me a little over 4000.
A: Cheater. Now who’s lying about age?


2 ) Height?

A: 6’1. Rather taller than most people perceive.
C: It’s because they’re too busy looking at your terrible dress sense.
A: *long suffering sigh*
C: Myself, I’m 6’3”. I like being taller than him.
A: Psychologically, one could say you’re desperately trying to prove you’re the bigger man, in other ways. *smug look* Which isn’t true.
C: *gets out measuring tape* … Damn.


3 ) You Got Any Bad Habits?

C: Got any good ones, you mean?
A: Nothing but good ones.
C: Liar. You drink. A lot.
A: With you.
C: And that makes it even worse.



4 ) You a virgin?

A: Now that IS a rather personal question.
C: I’ll answer for us both then. No, and a resounding no.
A: *turns to look elsewhere*



5 ) Who''s your Mate/Spouse?

A: Er. Do they mean best friends?
C: I think they mean “fuck buddies”.
A: Oh good Lord, must you say –
C: Yes. FUCK BUDDIES.
A: Keep doing that, and matters may change…
C: *grovels*



6 ) Have Any Kids?

A: I should say not.
C: I should HOPE not.
A: Angels aren’t allowed to breed, not after that unpleasant business with the Nephilim.
C: Demons aren’t bound by that, of course.
A: So do you--?
C: As I said. I should HOPE not.



7 ) Favourite Food?

C: Don’t ask him, he’ll go on for days. *pokes at soft angel tummy*
A: *almost growls*
C: Well, I for one like eating angel. Food. Angel food cake.
A: *puts head in hands*



8 ) Favourite Ice Cream flavour?

A: Hm, a simple vanilla is fine. Any other flavours can be added as one desires, with syrups and the like.
C: *pours chocolate syrup on angel’s fingers, licks it off*
A: Er… *flushes and moans* May we… continue this interview… a bit later?

*runs off to shag*



9 ) Killed anyone?

*returning from shag*

A: Ah… well… I’ve found it unfortunately necessary a few times. But I didn’t enjoy it.
C: And you didn’t inhale.
A: *utterly puzzled by cultural reference* What?
C: Never mind. Me, killed anyone? Only those who deserved it. Then I ate their livers with fava beans and a nice chianti. *sees angel is horrified, and missing yet another cultural reference* Cripes. Kidding! So very kidding. But to answer the question. Yes. Unfortunately.


10 ) Hate anyone?

C: *Pfft* Let me find the list.
A: Of course I don’t hate. Angels are love incarnate.
C: *whoops with laughter*
A: Really, now.
C: What about that guy who torched the library back in—
A: *fumes and splutters with rage, unable to articulate*
C: *looks smug*



11 ) Any Secrets?

*looking at one another, then Up, then Down, then back at each, nervously*

C & A: No comment.



12 ) Love Anyone?

A: Er… I love all God’s creatures. And we are all His creatures… *looks sidelong at the demon and smiles gently*
C: As if. *looks disdainful, as if the concept is entirely alien, but not really, and he’ll be damned if he’ll admit it, even to the angel… especially to the angel*



13 ) TACOS?

C: Depends on whether you mean food or feminine anatomy.
A: *hopelessly lost in the slang void*
C: *rolls eyes* Yeah, both are fine. If you can’t have a foot-long hot dog.
A: *puzzled again*
C: I’ll show you later…



14 ) Ever slept in All day?

C: You kidding? I slept most of the 18th century. Got up once to use the toilet (sticky sheets from a wet dream, not other bodily functions), and that was it until the 19th century rolled around.
A: I don’t sleep. Angels don’t need to sleep.
C: Need to? Maybe. Don’t do it? Right. I’ll show you the pajamas I don’t let him wear when he falls asleep after ---
A: *coughs loudly*



15 ) Favourite Show?

A: I really don’t bother with television. Especially since my companion here has spent so much time developing the worst of it.
C: Too true. Some of my finest work has been in TV.
A: I thinks he likes something called “Golden Girls”. And something else called “Cheers”.
C: Oy, those are long gone, angel. I’m working on reality TV now. And game shows. Hideous stuff, designed to rot the mind and frustrate those who desire intelligent TV.
A: *sighs deeply* Give me strength. And books.



16 ) Favourite Movie?

C & A: Absolutely NOT “The Sound of Music”.



17 ) Favourite Band? (if they lived in our world, our time)

A: Band?
C: Musicians, singers. Don’t get all last century ignorant on me, here.
A: *huffs* I prefer last century music, so why not. Classical, they call it now. Though I’ve listened to your music while driving.
C: Queen isn’t “my music”, it just happens. I like the old stuff, too.
A: Indeed. And we’ve got tickets to a concert this weekend, so do get your tuxedo ready.
C: “Yes, dear.”



18 ) Eye Colours?

A: Somewhat greyish-blue. Like clouds, I suppose.
C: Gold. Snakey. I can’t even remember what they were before that.
A: *smiles softly* They were always golden, my dear.
C: *blinks* … Ah…



19 ) Skin?

C: *pokes angel tummy again* Lots of it. But better to grab hold of that way…
A: I believe they mean “colour of skin”, though of course that oughtn’t to matter.
C: *lifts angel’s shirt* Very pale pinkish. Almost white. Sitting indoors all the time makes you pasty.
A: *fights to lower shirt* Stop that, you impudent thing!
C: Me, I’m tanned and fit and luscious. *preens*
A: And aiming for and “Ego of the Year” award.
C: Ooh, an insult! *grins*


20 ) Fat / Average / Slim?

A: That’s another rather personal question.
C: I think we’ve established your physique enough already. I, however, am tanned, fit and luscious, as I said.
A: Serpentine, really. Thin and bendy… *licks lips surreptitiously* Able to twist in the most interesting ways…
C: *leers* We’ll be back in a few, okay?

*runs off to shag again*


21 ) Rain, sunshine?

*returning much, much later*

A: Both are creations of God. They are equally lovely, and serve a grand purpose on the earth.
C: Sssunshine. Sssnakes like the sssun. Warm.
A: *looking coy* So is cozying up beneath the blankets…
C: Yesss… Don’t worry, we’re finishing the interview this time.



22 ) Pool, Beach?

A: I suppose both are fine. It’s not as though I spend much time at either.
C: Those old fashioned swimsuits were ugly anyway. Especially on you.
A: And of course you’d wear the tiniest thing possible. One of those, what do you call them, F-strings.
C: “G”, angel. Butt floss. *laughs at angel’s expression of disgust* Nah, uncomfortable. I’d just go naked. At either beach OR pool.
A: He would, too…



23 ) Camping, staying home?

C & A: Home.
C: Spent enough time wandering around in the days before houses. You get to see more, but it gets really, REALLY tiring.
A: Agreed.
C: Of course, at least I get out of my flat now and again. I don’t think your shop has seen daylight through its windows in decades.
A: It would fade the books.
C: Riiiight.



24 ) Dog, Cat?

A: Both are God’s creatures, of course, but I haven’t any real preference.
C: If you’d added ducks to the list, however… What are your thoughts on sssnakes?
A: The ones I’ve known (i.e. you) have been devious and wicked and –
C: …Tempting?
A: *blushes* Ah. Yes.



25 ) Believe in aliens?

A: There is no life beyond what God has created upon this earth.
C: So explain Michael Jackson.
A: *is lost for words*



26 ) Natural Born, or Clone?

A: We are the initial Creations of God. We weren’t born of humanity, and certainly weren’t cloned. I’m not sure I ought to approve of cloning in the first place.
C: Unless Upstairs sends a memo saying to promote it.
A: Well, I suppose so…
C: They did tell you to encourage the concept of “Intelligent Design”.
A: Your people told you the same thing.
C: Yeah, drives everyone crazy. *wide grin*



27 ) Car or Ship?

C: Car, of course. *smiles lovingly at Bentley* The full-body glove.
A: I have never driven either car or ship, but a cruise can be rather pleasant. And a drive isn’t so bad. As long as the car isn’t driven by a speeding demon with no regard for the safety of pedestrians, other drivers, bicyclists, or innocent hedgehogs…
C: *rolls around laughing*



28 ) Ever destroyed something out of Blind Rage?

A: Good heavens, of course not!
C: I don’t think either of us has really had a blind rage. Unless they mean “Blind Rage” as some sort of mixed drink, in which case we still haven’t because I don’t think there is one. Maybe I ought to invent it…
A: And you’ll make it of healthful, natural ingredients, marketing it toward eco-friendly pacifists, I suppose.
C: I hadn’t thought of that. But now…
A: *groans*



29 ) Any Unusual Things about you?

C: What isn’t?
A: Sad, but true. Though one tries one’s best to fit in.
C: Boooring.



30 ) How much food / drink do you need a day?

C: *laughs at angel, who crosses his arms over pudgy tummy* Technically none, but that’s never stopped either of us.



31 ) Favourite Place?

A: My bookshop. Or the park, down by the pond.
C: Wherever there are gullible people. And nice restaurants. With lots of angel food... *winks*
A: I ought to protest your remark about people… but…
C: *licks lips*
A: Ah… *fidgets*



32 ) Any last words?

*running off to shag again*

C: Ciao!
A: God bless!