The Madness Mechanism
folder
S through Z › Twilight Series › AU/AR
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
2
Views:
1,348
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
S through Z › Twilight Series › AU/AR
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
2
Views:
1,348
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Twilight or make any money from this story.
I'm Doing the Crossword, F*ck Off
//[001: anti-fan-fiktion]//
A/N: After reading Twilight, and after watching American Psycho one too many times, here is the end result. If you don't like anti-Twilight things, you're not going to enjoy this. Set in kind of an AU from the Twilight universe, since I totally don't g.a.f. Other things I make fun of will probably focus on the industrial subculture. Written in third person because the protagonist is going to be too insane to follow her thoughts logically, and I can't bring myself to place myself in Bella Swan's brain.
This is going to be kind of tongue-in-cheek, and I'm sort of parodying Stephenie Meyer's writing style in parts (although my works will bleed through), except for the violent parts. If you want literary beauty, check out my other two WIPs: Harlequin (http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600098224), or my more current one, Induced Charge (http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600098942).
As Andy LaPlegua, one of my least favorite musicians would say...ENJOY THE ABUUUUUUUUUSE!!1
-------------
Bella, Jessica, and Lauren sat together at the lunch table, eating shitty institutional food with unnatural gusto.
"So, Jessica," asked Bella, "how was trig today?"
"Oh my god, it was awful, and Mike was there and he kept making stupid eyes at me. He so obviously likes me, but I'm way too good for him." She fluttered her hair. "Bella, I love your blue cotton v-neck."
"Oh, thank you. I got it in Port Angeles a few days ago. Edward took me shopping." She sparkled as she said the name of the vampire who shagged, I mean, loved her.
"Ooooh, Edward Cullen. I can't believe you're dating Edward Cullen," Jessica said, for perhaps the six thousandth time in the series and related fiction.
"He's so rude to everyone," said Lauren, in her typically bitchy way.
"Oh my god, how can you say that, Lauren?" exclaimed Bella, the sparkle fading from her eyes.
"He's gorgeous," said Jessica.
"I know," said Bella, wearing her perfected, patented, snobbiest, bitchiest expression.
"So snobby. You and Edward Cullen...oh, my god."
"I know. Too bad he isn't here today." Bella sighed, playing with her elegant hair. "He can't keep away all the hundreds of other boys who are fascinated by me."
"Uh, Bella. I think they're fascinated by someone else today." Lauren, still a huge bitch, pointed at someone across the lunchroom. "The new girl, Sarah Starke."
She sat by herself at a lunch table at the far end of the room, sipping on a Thermos mug without any food. Dressed simply in a shiny black vest, grey guinea tee, and black capris matched with Converse hi-tops, she was sketching in a battered notebook. Bella stared at her, oddly fascinated by the smoldering depths of insanity in her eyes. "Does anyone else see that she's a little weird?" demanded Bella.
"Oh, no," said Eric, walking by with a lunch tray. "Just smoldering depths of sexy, sexy hotness." He sat down. "What's your problem, Hell's Bells?"
"Nothing," Bella lied. She was exceedingly good at it. It wasn't surprising that no one else could see the madness that lay in Sarah Starke's eyes. She had exceedingly good training looking into people's eyes. After all, her only real extracurricular activities consisted of staring into Edward Cullen's topaz butterscotchy, dreamy, creamy, sparkly eyes.
Inside Sarah Starke's spiral, the following words were written, over and over:
BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD LOL
Across the cafeteria, Rosalie Cullen sniffed the air. "I feel so hungry..." she muttered. "But still, I am a massive, fucking bitch."
She didn't see Bella Swan walk over to Sarah Starke and sit down to say hello.
"Sarah? My name's Bella. I just moved here a while ago, too. Maybe we can be friends." Inside her tiny brain, Bella was scheming as fast as she possibly could.
Sarah Starke looked up and giggled. "I will kill you and fuck the body. I mean, hi! Where did you move from?"
BLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOOD
LOL
A/N: After reading Twilight, and after watching American Psycho one too many times, here is the end result. If you don't like anti-Twilight things, you're not going to enjoy this. Set in kind of an AU from the Twilight universe, since I totally don't g.a.f. Other things I make fun of will probably focus on the industrial subculture. Written in third person because the protagonist is going to be too insane to follow her thoughts logically, and I can't bring myself to place myself in Bella Swan's brain.
This is going to be kind of tongue-in-cheek, and I'm sort of parodying Stephenie Meyer's writing style in parts (although my works will bleed through), except for the violent parts. If you want literary beauty, check out my other two WIPs: Harlequin (http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600098224), or my more current one, Induced Charge (http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600098942).
As Andy LaPlegua, one of my least favorite musicians would say...ENJOY THE ABUUUUUUUUUSE!!1
-------------
Bella, Jessica, and Lauren sat together at the lunch table, eating shitty institutional food with unnatural gusto.
"So, Jessica," asked Bella, "how was trig today?"
"Oh my god, it was awful, and Mike was there and he kept making stupid eyes at me. He so obviously likes me, but I'm way too good for him." She fluttered her hair. "Bella, I love your blue cotton v-neck."
"Oh, thank you. I got it in Port Angeles a few days ago. Edward took me shopping." She sparkled as she said the name of the vampire who shagged, I mean, loved her.
"Ooooh, Edward Cullen. I can't believe you're dating Edward Cullen," Jessica said, for perhaps the six thousandth time in the series and related fiction.
"He's so rude to everyone," said Lauren, in her typically bitchy way.
"Oh my god, how can you say that, Lauren?" exclaimed Bella, the sparkle fading from her eyes.
"He's gorgeous," said Jessica.
"I know," said Bella, wearing her perfected, patented, snobbiest, bitchiest expression.
"So snobby. You and Edward Cullen...oh, my god."
"I know. Too bad he isn't here today." Bella sighed, playing with her elegant hair. "He can't keep away all the hundreds of other boys who are fascinated by me."
"Uh, Bella. I think they're fascinated by someone else today." Lauren, still a huge bitch, pointed at someone across the lunchroom. "The new girl, Sarah Starke."
She sat by herself at a lunch table at the far end of the room, sipping on a Thermos mug without any food. Dressed simply in a shiny black vest, grey guinea tee, and black capris matched with Converse hi-tops, she was sketching in a battered notebook. Bella stared at her, oddly fascinated by the smoldering depths of insanity in her eyes. "Does anyone else see that she's a little weird?" demanded Bella.
"Oh, no," said Eric, walking by with a lunch tray. "Just smoldering depths of sexy, sexy hotness." He sat down. "What's your problem, Hell's Bells?"
"Nothing," Bella lied. She was exceedingly good at it. It wasn't surprising that no one else could see the madness that lay in Sarah Starke's eyes. She had exceedingly good training looking into people's eyes. After all, her only real extracurricular activities consisted of staring into Edward Cullen's topaz butterscotchy, dreamy, creamy, sparkly eyes.
Inside Sarah Starke's spiral, the following words were written, over and over:
BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD LOL
Across the cafeteria, Rosalie Cullen sniffed the air. "I feel so hungry..." she muttered. "But still, I am a massive, fucking bitch."
She didn't see Bella Swan walk over to Sarah Starke and sit down to say hello.
"Sarah? My name's Bella. I just moved here a while ago, too. Maybe we can be friends." Inside her tiny brain, Bella was scheming as fast as she possibly could.
Sarah Starke looked up and giggled. "I will kill you and fuck the body. I mean, hi! Where did you move from?"
BLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOOD
LOL