The Game

Animoprhs #69: The Game

Jake, Cassie, Tobias, and Rachel were sitting in the barn one day, bored because they couldn't think of any new plans to destroy the Yeerks. Well, Tobias wasn't sitting because he is a hawk and hawks don't sit. He was perched on the rafters gazing longingly at Rachel and wishing once more that he could be human, if only for a minute, so he could blissfully ravage her toned, taught body. Maybe even ten seconds, that's all he needed. Marco and Ax weren't there, because they just weren't.

Suddenly Rachel spoke, interrupting Tobias' thoughts of molesting her.

"I'm bored," she said with a disgruntled look on her face. "Why are we here again?"

"Rachel, we're trying to save the world from the Yeerks! Like, hello!!" Jake replied passionately.

I wish he would talk to me passionately... or in the throws of passion, Cassie thought. Oh my god, what did I just think!!! I'm pure and good and vaginal!!! Wait, no, I mean virginal!!! Ahhhhhh I like animals!!!

Rachel looked disgusted. "Ew. That's gross, Cassie. He's my cousin you slut!"

Cassie threw her hand over her mouth. "Oh my god, did I just say that out loud? FUCK ME! OMG, Jake did you hear what I said??"

"Huh?" Jake replied. He had been staring at her for the past four minutes, watching her lips move and wishing he could be the one to make them. He, conveniently for the plot, had no idea what she'd just said.

Thank GOD!" Cassie shouted. "I would just DIE!"

However, this Jake heard. "NOOO!" He yelled. "You can't die! I haven't declared my love for you yet, or impregnated you!"

Cassie's head snapped to his and her eyes opened with shock and an underlying hope. "What did you say?" she asked.

"Uhh... you can't fly. I haven't morphed my dove for you yet or delayed my poo?"

The hope dropped from Cassie's face. She was devastated. "Oh. I thought you said something else. And also, that's gross."

Jake sighed in depression and put his face in his hands. I'll never bed that fine bitch... He thought.

"YES, YOU WILL," came a reply out of the darkness.

"We will what?" Rachel asked snottily. "Ugh. All you do is risk our lives and talk all enigmatically! I HATE risking my life!"

Marco's head popped out of a bale of hay. "No you don't! And you're hot!!" Without warning he was gone.

Rachel stared blankly for a second before showing a sign of recognition. "Oh! Right! I love fighting and killing cause I'm Rachel! Grrr, I can morph a BEAR!!" She said suddenly, before using a fecal stick used for taking poop out of goats on the ground and using it to put her hair up in an attractive, trendy style.

God, that is so SEXY! Tobias exclaimed. Rachel's eyes widened and a smile formed on her face.

"Did you just say what I think you said?" She looked so happy, like she had just started living for the first time.

Uhh... that Bob's cat is named Mexy?

Rachel's face fell so far that her eyeballs almost fell out of their sockets. "Oh... Who's Bob?"

Err... Bob is... uh... someone I spy on everyday. Yeah! That's who he is. I spy on him. And he just got a cat. And he named it Mexy. He likes to let the cat lick his face a lot. And he says Mexy over and over again, that's how I know it's name. Tobias replied showing off his awesome improv skills.

Rachel scrunched up her face again, something she apparently does all the time now. "Oh. That's gross." She swatted at a fly that was buzzing around her fecal sticked hair.

Tobias' fierce hawk eyes glistened with tears. All he ever seemed to do was gross Rachel out. What reason was there to live? He slowly leaned forward and fell off his perch, landing in a bale of hay. No one noticed.

"GAH! JESUS CHRIST. YOU PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING BORING. DO SOMETHING FOR ONCE! I ARRANGE FOR MARCO AND AX TO BE GONE. I MAKE YOU HEAR EACH OTHERS THOUGHTS. I PLAY MOOD MUSIC. WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET YOU TO REALIZE YOU WANT TO SEX EACH OTHER UP! HURRY UP, I WANT TO GET OFF!" The Ellimist said. He sounded angry.

"Oooooh, that sounds like fun!" Rachel said, because she's tall and blonde, and all tall blondes are sluts. Jake ignored her.

"I don't hear any, like, mood music." Jake argued. "Put on some Marvin Gaye, bitch!"

"OH... RIGHT... SORRY..."

Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It One" immediately started blasting through the speakers that magically appeared.

"NOW TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES! I WANT TO SEE SOME BOOBIES TONIGHT!!"

Cassie giggled. "Oh, Ellimist. You're so funny!"

Upon hearing the word "boobies", Tobias' hawk head sprung up from inside the hay. Wait! What about me? I wanna sex Rachel up, but I can't as a hawk! This is not fair!

The Ellimist laughed. "HAHA, I'VE ALWAYS LIKED YOU , TOBY. GOT SPUNK. OK, HOLD ON A SEC."

Tobias held on a second, and 360 seconds after that, he magically transformed into his human self.

"Oh my God!! I'm a real boy!! He shouted.

"Oh my God!! You're naked!!" Rachel shouted, staring at his large man parts and salivating at the mouth. "Let's all have sex NOW!!"

The Ellimist rubbed his hands together and set up the camera to record.

"Wait! We can't!" It was Jake, always the voice of reason.

The Ellimist was about to scream, kill him, and then replace him by tricking Ax into morphing into Jake for two hours, but Cassie made this irrelevant.

"FUCK no, WHORE!" She yelled in Jake's general direction. "I'm horny and I want me some man-poon! Now strip down before I whip you!"

"Yes, ma'am." Jake replied, scared and excited at the same time.

"NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT." The Ellimist said to himself. He pressed record on the camera and sat back to enjoy the show.

The End.