Jealous

Jealous

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Every day since the takeover of the Basadoni guild by the assassin and his questionable drow allies, Jarlaxle had insisted on meeting outside his room and sparring together for the morning. Artemis couldn''t say he disliked this ritual, but neither did he get the point. What satisfaction did Jarlaxle get out of this arrangement? Why bother to spar with the human instead of one of the many members of Bregan D''aerthe who were more than capable?

If Jarlaxle had been a human, Artemis might even have suspected Jarlaxle wanted bonding time between the two of them.

This morning, Artemis froze in surprise, hardly expecting to be confronted by one of his most hated associates in the entire guild.

It didn''t help that Jarlaxle followed to see her out.

Artemis glared at Sharlotta all the way down the hall as she made her sauntering retreat from Jarlaxle’s room. Then he turned to the drow mercenary. “Whatever you were doing along in that room with the likes of Sharlotta Vespers, it was a mistake.”

“Don’t be so hard on her,” Jarlaxle said mildly.

“You slept with her, didn’t you.”

Jarlaxle gave him a coy look. “Are you jealous?”

“I would sooner sit on a bed of knives than have Sharlotta Vespers in my bed.”

“Why can’t you get along with her?” Jarlaxle asked.

Artemis stared at him. “She is a double-crossing harlot.”

Jarlaxle chuckled, looking genuinely amused. “So?”

Artemis glared at him. “What do you mean, ‘so’?”

Jarlaxle smiled. “So?”

“You shouldn’t even stoop to associating with trash like that!” Artemis burst out. “She’ll betray you the moment your back is turned!”

Jarlaxle said his smile widening, “I think I’ll repeat: Are you jealous?”

The assassin flushed. “I have no idea what you are referring to.”

“I think you do.”

“I think you’re mistaken.”

“Ah, Artemis.”

“Entreri.”

Jarlaxle moved on without an indication he had heard that. “You and dear Sharlotta will get along eventually. I will arrange that.”

“I am not having sex with her.”

Jarlaxle started laughing. “You and I could share her. I could be there, at the same time as you and she.” He couldn’t speak for laughing, and had to wipe his eyes before gasping, “The three of us,” and dissolving into tears of mirth as his laughter wracked his slight body. He was soon leaning on the wall for support.

Artemis spun and stormed down the hall without so much as a farewell.

Jarlaxle started leaking tears with mirth.

His amusement didn''t stem from Artemis'' responses as much as his own naughty daydream of having himself and Artemis both hovering over Sharlotta at the same time. It was a complete reversal of most playing behind closed doors in Menzoberranzan- a woman would usually share her male of the evening with a friend if she were in the mood. The very idea that he and Artemis would gang up on Sharlotta and have their way with her was so utterly ridiculous that his sides were splitting.

However, soon enough, he tracked Artemis down. When the assassin didn''t stop, Jarlaxle put on his brightest smile and got in front of him in the hallway, choosing to walk backwards so that he could direct the full force of his charm Artemis'' way.

"I was looking forward to sparring this morning," Jarlaxle said.

"Then spar."

Jarlaxle gave him an entreating glance. "You know no one can take your place."

Artemis snorted. "Out of my way." He did stop, however.

"I was only joking," Jarlaxle said, seeing that Artemis was still upset.

"I can''t help your sense of humor," Artemis said.

Beat me to it, Jarlaxle thought. Now what do I say?

Then he grinned. "I know! An easy way to settle this disagreement! We spar as usual, and the winner is the one with the sense of humor."

Artemis stared at him.

Jarlaxle beamed.

"Fine." Artemis flexed his hands. "But prepare to lose. Your sense of humor is kin to the sludge I scrape off my boots every day after going through the streets."

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Author''s Note: This is a continuation and expansion of a short scene I posted on ff.net. However, it is obviously heading into deeper waters than ff.net would prefer I go.