Skin deep

Skin Deep

Chapter 20


Fusedtwilight: Sorry it took so long to update, a friends birthday came up and she requested me to write a story for her. This chapter is all Embry, we find out what he has been up to since we last saw him. It has not been a pritty sight.



Embry P.O.V

Weeks ago

Things had not been going good for me.

You would think that now that I have a real human girlfriend and now know who my father is and that I am not the result of an affair. (Just the result of a bizarre tryst between adults.) You would think I was happy. Well I am not.

I had a ghost you see, and her name is Sara. For almost a month now I have been thinking of her none stop. It had gotten to the point where it was messing up my life real bad. As the days passed I found myself thinking about her more and more. If she was safe, if the Volturi were treating her alright, if she was still drinking animal blood. To satisfy my curiosity I went to the Cullens and asked them how she was doing. They told me she was fine and I felt a little better, but I was unable to get her out of my head.

I began to think about her more and more, at school, at home, when I patrolled, when I was with Gloria. I had done a good job at making Gloria think I was okay. But every time she smiled I would think it wasn't as warm or sweet as Sara's, when she touched me I thought it didn't have the icy cold touch Sara's did, I liked Sara's skin, compared to mine it felt normal. When the sun hit Gloria I kept on expecting her skin to erupt in sparkles and felt disappointment when it didn't. When I felt her hair between my fingers I compared it to Sara's. Gloria had the typical raven black hair, but Sara's was like golden silk with a little more curl to it. When Gloria kissed me...it felt wrong. I kept on comparing everything about her to Sara, and although Gloria was a great girl, she wasn't my kind of girl.

It wasn't long before thoughts of Sara began to be noticed by the others as we patrolled. "Embry are you okay?" Jake asked.

"Yeah I'm fine," I lied.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, we still on for dinner tomorrow?"

Since it was revealed Billy was my dad we had been going over to his place for dinner for a while now. Tomorrow I was going to bring Gloria over to introduce her to Billy. Feeling exhausted I decided to go to the beach. I phased and put some cloths on and strolled down the beach.

I found log and sat down on it, laying down I closed my eyes and relaxed.

I felt a cold hand rub my chest. I opened my eyes and saw Sara smiling down at me. "Hey," she said.

"Hey," I said.

She leaned down and kissed my cheek. Her lips were cold but I enjoyed the feel of her skin against mine. "Why are you out here?" she asked.

"Tired, been doing the late shift," I said.

Her hair fell to the left of her face, it caressed my cheek like silk and I smelled the sickly sweet scent of a vampire. But instead of being repulsed like I usually was I inhaled her scent deeply.

"You look good Embry." she smiled. Then her beautiful golden eyes darkened to a burgundy red, she wore the cloak the Volturi wore. "Good enough to eat."

Before I could do anything she struck, her mouth latched onto my neck, I felt her teeth rip into flesh and muscle as my blood gushed out. Then I felt my entire body erupt in flames.

I woke with a start. I was still alone, still on the log. But the memory of the nightmare was still fresh. I felt my neck, no bite marks, no blood, and no burning sensation. Yet I still could feel her teeth digging into my flesh. I walked home disturbed more then I should be. Whether the fact I had dreamed off her in such an intimate way or the fact that even when she was biting into my neck I could not figure out.

I grabbed the phone and dialed the Cullen's number. Two rings later and someone answered. "Hello?" a female voice answered. It was Rosalie.

"Hey, this is Embry," I said.

"Jacob is not here," she said sounding bored.

"I know, I was just wondering have you heard from Sara?" I asked.

Her voice got defensive. "Not since the last time you asked."

"Well...is she still drinking animal blood?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Alice is keeping an eye on her. Why do you ask?"

"No reason. Thanks." I hanged up the phone.

I still had a few hours to kill so I decided to draw. I was pretty good at it. I did real well in art class at school. Grabbing some pencils and chalk and began to draw. I wasn't trying to draw anything in particular. But as my hands moved and curved a pattern and outline. At first I thought it was Gloria. But as I focused on drawing the lips, the eyes, the nose, the cheeks the smile. I smiled but soon it vanished. It was not Gloria on the paper. It was Sara.

That night we all went over to the Blacks for dinner. Me, mom and Gloria. I introduced her to Billy. She was very nervous. The Blacks were a well known and respected family. A family I was now a member of. I don't know how the rez is reacting to me being Billy's son, but I am sure the gossiping old ladies are having a field day.

Rachel joined us as did Paul. I guess since he was dating my sister that made us soon to be Brother- in-laws. Great, a wolf brother and an in-law.

It was a good night. Everyone got along well, Paul was more relaxed and easy going then I thought possible. Everything was going okay. But something felt wrong, out of place. Every time I looked at Gloria I felt like I was looking at a picture that was in the wrong spot. Jake asked to talk to me outside after dinner. I left Gloria talking to Billy, mom and the others about her plans for after school.

"So I heard you called the Cullen's today," Jake said as we stepped outside.

Crap. He was probably all worried and shit now. "Yeah, I was just calling to see if they heard from Sara. I mean the idea of those leeches branching out makes me worried," I said.

"Yeah, me to. Would make it harder to defend ourselves should they decide to attack. But are you sure you didn't ask how Sara was doing?" he asked.

"Well yeah, I mean she is a good girl, the thought of her stuck with those monsters makes me nervous. I'm afraid they'll get her to drink human blood. I'm afraid that they'll make her into something like them. A monster."

"Yeah, Sam isn't really happy she went with them, nether are the elders. Their afraid of what she will do with her power if she fully joins them."

"She would never use her power against us!" I growled, "Sara loves the Cullen's, she would never do anything to hurt them or m-, or us." I caught myself in time. I was about to say me.

If Jake had known what I was going to say he didn't say anything. "I know, but the elders are still worried. They still fear her and her power and her being a vampire."

"They don't know her," I growled.

He gave me a funny look. "What do you mean?"

"I mean it doesn't matter how long she is with them, she isn't like other vampires. She is good right down to her core, they can't change that." I was so sure of what I was saying.

"Well here is hoping they don't, she is a good girl," he said.

"Yeah she really is," I said.

The next day I went to school and met with Gloria. I sat with her and her friends. She was really excited to hold hands with me and kiss me in public. Everyone knew me and Gloria were going out now. Instead of enjoying it I was too busy thinking of another girl.

For art class we were supposed to draw something religious. We were supposed to draw something angelic. I could say I was doing it for the grade but I would be lying. What I drew not only got me an A+ but it was also going to be featured in this year's art show.

We had a week to complete the drawings. I spent a lot of time working on it.

What I drew was you guessed it Sara. It was that night Vincent attacked. He didn't know about her power, he was just so impressed with her beauty he wanted to posses her. And she killed him. To save me of course. Before that we had hidden on the mountain, the light of the full moon blazed in the sky. Turns out if the moon is bright enough it causes vampires skin to glow. No like a night like or sparkle like the suns light would cause. But it makes it seem more luminescent.

The drawing of Sara was in a vast tundra. The moon shined bright above her, the sky was dark and full of stars, but almost completely covered by the Aurora Borealis shined in the sky. Sara stood in the snow a white robe covered her body, a white cloth draped her shoulders and ran down her arm, her hair and eyes like gold, her skin luminescent, a a pair of white angelic wings spread from behind her back.

I had changed a few things, she hadn't been wearing a white night gown, nor does she (nor will she ever) have a pair of wings. But she was the only thing I could think of when I thought angelic. So I made a few modifications. It was a bit over kill I admit, but I had to do her justice.

Everyone including the teacher was really impressed. Hence the A+. She decided to keep it in the hall with the other artworks for the school to see. That made me nervous. I wasn't afraid anyone would recognize her, at least the humans. She had gone to Forks high school and because of her mother always wore baggy cloths and always kept her head down. Becoming a vampire had made her as beautiful as Rosalie, I doubt even any of her former classmates could recognize her if they saw her now. She was more beautiful and was happier.

Last anyone had heard from her she had moved out of state to live with another family after her mother was killed. Charlie had helped smooth things over. So it wasn't the humans I was worried about, it was the wolves.

"I really love your painting," Gloria said.

"Yeah thanks," I said nervously.

Quil and Jake were with us, their arms were crossed and they were giving me very pointed looks.

A few days later and my Sara obsession was getting worse. I was dreaming of her more frequently now. The dreams were even starting to invade my daydreams. When I would begin to nod off during class and imagine I was somewhere else, instead of imagining I was running in the woods with my pack I imagined I was running in the woods with Sara, not running after her, running with her like we used to.

I was playing with Gloria's hair one night. We were on my bed fooling around. Mom wasn't home otherwise we wouldn't be allowed alone on my room. "You know, I think you would look great with blonde hair," I said.

"Really? You think?" she asked.

"Sure, it would look good on you."

Two days later Gloria had blonde hair. It did not look right on her. I mean she was still good looking but Blonde hair just did not go well for her. Her friends thought so as well but they told her she looked great to make her feel better. I lied to and thought it looked good on her. It wasn't as good as Sara's, but it provided me with a small comfort.

I tried to keep these thoughts and feelings to myself, but I was not as good at hiding my thoughts as some of the others were. Soon Jake and Quil got me alone to talk.

"Embry what is wrong?" Jake asked.

"Nothing," I lied.

"Bullshit man, everyone has seen your thoughts. Everyone knows your obsessing over Sara," Quil said.

"The painting, the dreams, getting Gloria to change her hair to blonde. Embry something is definitely wrong," Jake said.

"I made the painting for the grade, Gloria looks good with blonde hair and the dreams....are just dreams," I said.

"Embry we see your mind. Why are you doing this? You're obsessing over a girl you have no feelings for. We can't feel anything from you, you think about her all the time yet there is no love, no affection, no passion, no nothing to make you feel like this."

"Because it's nothing!" I growled.

I left, ignoring their calls to come back. I was angry, angry enough to phase but I was not in the mood to have the others in my head and feel shock and disgust over what I was going through. The next couple of days everyone tried talking to me, Quil, Leah, Jake, Seth, Sam they even tried to get Billy to talk to me.

"Embry, are you okay? He asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said.

"Are you sure? Because I am hearing different from the others," he said.

"Don't worry, I can handle it," I said.

"Embry have you been sleeping okay?"

"Yes." Actually no I have not. Every time I go to sleep I dream of her. And the pain of waking up and not being with her was too much to bear. So I avoided sleep as often as I could.

"Well your mom is worried, she says you are in your room all the time and you won't let her in, you always keep the door locked."

"Well it's my room, I like my privacy," I said.

I liked my privacy because if mom saw my room she would really freak. It was littered with drawings I made of Sara, being in a room full of her image was soothing, comforting. I came to dread the days I had to leave my room to go to school. I wasn't happy unless I was surrounded by her face. I had done my best to keep these thoughts to myself, knowing Jake would intervene.

"Well she's worried. I know you have been thinking a lot about Sara an-"

"Billy as much as I appreciate you trying to be my dad, don't. I am fine, nothing is wrong, I don't need you or anyone else making a big deal out of nothing." I got up to leave.

"Embry please, I'm worried, we all are. These thoughts you're having aren't natural."

"Yeah like my life is normal," I said bitterly.

A few days later and all hell broke loose. I was over at Gloria's. I no longer had her come over to my house, to afraid she would want to go into my room and see what it had become. We were in her room making out. It was cold, and empty. For me at least. Nothing but pleasure of the body and flesh, a small medicine to cure the festering ache in my heart. Things were not going good for us. Gloria sensed my feelings, she was no longer smiling as much as she was when she was with me. Or maybe she sensed my disinterest in her. Not even her blonde hair kept me interested in her. But I went through the motions mostly to keep her happy, mostly because I knew it would help keep the others off my back, but most of these entire little make out sessions were the only thing I had to distract me from Sara and the memories she had left behind to haunt me.

It was getting to the point to where I was considering going to the Cullen's for help, hoping Jasper or Edwards's power could help me. But Gloria had an idea that was surprising.

We were in her room making out when she stopped. "Embry, my parents won't be back for another hour. I was thinking...maybe we could you know." she blush. "Go all the way."

"Huh?" I asked confused.

"I really like you Embry. I want you to be my first time; I want to have sex with you."

"Here? Now?"

"Yes...I got protection." she opened the drawer of her night stand and pulled out a box of condoms. "I am on the pill too."

"How did you get the condoms?" I asked.

"My friends got them for me, my dad knows the guy at the market and I didn't want him to tell him because well you know." she blushed again.

"Oh...okay, this is my first time to," I said.

"Really? I would have thought you know with how good looking you are." she blushed.

"No, it wasn't high on my priority list," I said.

"Okay. So do you want to do it?" she looked nervous.

I looked at her and smiled. "Sure."

We didn't do it. First we started making out more heavily, we removed each other's clothes until I was in my briefs and she was in her panties. We kissed, we touched, we kissed. We were close to taking off our underwear, opening the pack of condoms and doing the deed, but before it could get that far I moaned a name, it was not Gloria's. "Sara."

"What?"

Shit. I should have known this was about to happen. The entire time I had been thinking of Sara.

"Wait Gloria, I'm sorry," I said.

She got up, her face was red but this time from anger and embarrassment. She covered her breasts. "Sara? That's the name of your ex! I knew it, you're still in love with her! My friends tried to warn me, they tried to tell me the picture you painted and the having me turn my hair blonde was because of her. But I didn't believe them, even when I sensed you were cold and distant I thought it was a boy thing. Well it is a boy thing isn't it? My god I was going to give you my virginity and you are in love with another girl!"

"Gloria please, I'm sorry I didn't mean-"

"Get out! I never want to speak to you again Embry Call. You are a bastard, both literal and figuratively. A cold heartless bastard! Get out!"

Sighing I pulled my pants on, grabbed my shirt and walked out. Thanks to my hearing I heard her crying all the way out the house, even as I walked into the woods. Her sobbing weighed my heart with guilt. I did not mean to hurt her so. She deserved better treatment. But despite the guilt I felt for what just happened a part of me felt relief. Relief it was over, relief I no longer had to try to pretend that I enjoyed being with her.

I walked home and found another unpleasant surprise waiting for me. Mom, Billy, Rachel, Paul, Jake and Quil were waiting for me. "What's going on?" I asked.

The air was silent. Thick with tension. No one spoke at first, no one knew who should go first or what to say. Mom spoke. "Embry, I went into your room today," she said.

My stomach clenched tight.

"I smelled how nasty your room was, I thought you had left some clothes in there and I couldn't take it so I found the spare key and went inside." she placed a few stacks of drawings on the table. "Imagine my surprise when I saw your little shrine to her." she said her like it left a sour taste in her mouth.

"You're mother called me up and we decided to have this little intervention," Billy said.

"Embry enough is enough, I tried giving you your space and privacy but something needs to be done," Jake said.

"Mom, what did you do with all my pictures?" I asked ignoring Jake and Billy, fear had filled my heart.

"What do you think I did? I tossed them."

I ran to my room. Sure enough all those drawings I did were all gone. Not a single sheet left. Anger filled me and I began to shake, how dare she enter my territory, my room, my space and do this. "Embry."

I turned, Jake, Paul and Quil walked through my door. Jake's voice was calm and soothing. "Calm down, you do not want to phase in here."

I closed my eyes and took deep breaths. Leah had taken yoga classes and taught us what she learned. Soon the anger began to cool down and I opened my eyes.

"There, that is better." he walked over and placed his arm around my shoulders. "Now let's go back in there and talk."

He led me back to the living room. I sat down and snatched the remaining drawings from the table when I saw mom make a grab for them. "These are mine!" I snarled, "You had no right!"

"I am your mother! This is my house and if I don't want a bunch of pictures of a corpse in my house then I will throw them out."

Billy placed a hand on hers. I clutched the drawings close to me, I looked at them and the sight of them provided a small comfort to me. "My god look at him, he's looking at them as if they were her, what did she do to him?" Rachel asked.

"She didn't do anything," I said.

"Bullshit Embry look at you. She left with those monsters and you came back to your senses for a while now here you are losing it further."

"What about Gloria Embry? Do you think she hasn't noticed," Quil said. "I heard her talking to her friends, she is afraid you still have a thing for Sara, she said she feels like you don't care about her anymore."

"Gloria is no longer my girlfriend," I said. No way was I going to tell them what happened.

"What? Why did you break up?" mom asked.

"It just wasn't working out," I lied. Well half lied.

"I can't believe this, you give up a good girl like Gloria who comes from a nice family for a walking, talking corpse."

"Stop calling her that!" I shouted.

"Embry don't yell at your mother," Billy said sternly.

"You stay out of this! Don't think just because I know you're my dad you can come over after all these years and be fatherly now."

Hurt flashed through his eyes. Then they were replaced with that stern look I had seen many times before when we were growing up. "Never the less I am still your father. I practically helped raise you all these years though I kept the secret. But father or not you will respect me and your mother boy am I clear?" he asked.

"Yeah abundantly," I said.

"Look, obviously something wrong is going on with Embry, we need to find him help," Rachel said.

"Oh yeah I can see it now. Excuse me doc I have no feelings for my ex yet I am constantly thinking about her and obsessing over her and by the way she is a vampire and I am a werewolf," I said sarcastically.

"Back off," Paul growled.

"Embry sweetie this isn't normal or healthy. We want to help you but you need to let us," Mom said.

"You think I don't know that? I know this isn't healthy or normal, but what am I supposed to do, if I get help then...then that means I have to give her up...I can't, I won't." I clutched the papers.

"We have to do something," Mom said.

"We will. I asked Edward and Jasper to meet with him and see-"

"No! Absolutely not, I will not have my son around those monsters," mom said.

"They are the only ones who might be able to figure out what is wrong with him," Jake said.

"Fine, I'll go see them," I said.

"Embry!"

"What else am I going to do mom? I can't see a human doctor. I can't keep living like this, its driving me crazy." I got up. "Now if you excuse me I need some sleep, I am tired."

No one stopped me as I went back to my room. I closed the door and locked it. I placed the papers gently back where they were. Feeling a great need to draw and an unwillingness to dream of her, I decided to spend a few hours drawing her, making up for the damage mom caused to my holy area. So grabbing some blank sheets and some pencils, I began to draw. Hoping a few hours of drawing her would help put her out of my mind.

Sadly it did not, after a few hours I tried to sleep and I dreamed of her. Waking up and growling so loud I feared mom heard me I continued to draw. All night, never stopping. I had an hour to get ready for school, grabbing a shower I saw the dark circles under my eyes. I looked like a vampire.

I grabbed breakfast and headed for school. I got a cold reception there. I spotted Gloria there but she refused to look at me, her friends how ever looked at me with such scorn and hate. I met up with Jake and Quil, they did not look happy. Even less when they saw how I looked.

"Embry what the hell? Didn't you sleep?" Quil asked.

"No." why lie?

"Embry there is talk going around the school," Jake said.

"What?"

"Apparently you tried to seduce Gloria into sleeping with you and she said no and you said you were breaking up with her because she wasn't as good a girlfriend as Sara and Sara was better than her in every way."

"What? That's not what happened." I leaned in and whispered. "Last night she wanted to have sex and I agreed, we were in our underwear and she had her friends buy condoms and we were going to do it but...I kind of said Sara's name."

"Jesus Embry," Quil said.

"We didn't have sex, we still had out undies on when I said it, she broke up with me and I left, I did not say those things guys," I said.

"We believe you Em, but the word has spread throughout the school. Don't be surprised if you get the cold shoulder," Jake said.

He was right. The rest of the day many of the students would look at me with shame or disgust. Others got aggressive, the guys who went out with Gloria's friends or who were friends with Gloria would ram into me or taunt me with words, trying to pick a fight. Which was absurd as I was taller than all of them, all I would have to do it tap their heads hard enough with my fingers and they would go into a coma.

I endured, eagerly waiting for the day to end when I saw what had been done. I was going to take my painting of Sara, the angel one home. I did not want to leave it here, so during lunch I went back into the school to get it and put it somewhere safe until school ended. The art room had a place that I could stash it until later. I turned the corner and saw Mr. Shay my art teacher with two others looking at something on the wall.

"Who could have done it?"

"Lots, from what I hear he just broke up in a rather nasty way with his girlfriend and this may be retribution by her or her friends."

"Shame, it was really...Embry?"

I froze. The painting of Sara was ruined. Someone had gotten paint and painted over it, covering it with a slew of vulgar words and drawings. Seeing it felt like someone stabbed my heart.

"Embry?" Mr. Shay said again.

I turned and ran back outside. I found Gloria, surrounded by her friends as usual. They saw me coming and huddled together, looks of fear on their faces. "What did you do?!" I growled.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"Someone graffiti my painting!"

"Good, it was an eyes sore anyway," one of her friend said.

"I'm not talking to you bitch!" I snarled.

"Embry," Gloria said shocked.

"Don't Embry me. I thought you were actually a kind and caring person. A smart girl. Now I realize you're just a vindictive harpy who spreads lies and deceit and gets her friends to do her dirty work. Just because I slipped up and said her name you tell people I degraded you? You tell them I would stoop so low? I apologized for what I did Gloria, I wish it didn't happen but it did. If you cannot be mature enough about it then not only do I regret last night I regret ever going out with you. Sara would never have done something like this, she is more kind and compassionate then you will ever be."

"Oh yeah it's all about your white little whore. Tell me Embry how easy did she put out? Everyone knows what a drunken slut her mother was, lord knows her daughter must be worse," Gloria said.

"To hell with you Gloria!"

I turned and headed for the woods, deciding to blow off the rest of the day. People whispered as I walked, our confrontation having been witnessed by half the school. "Embry!" Jake called.

I turned and saw him running to me. "What happened? Where are you going?" I told him what happened.

"I'm going home, if I stay right now I am going to phase, I'll see you later."

He let me go. I walked home still mad as hell, only to have mom round on me. "Embry Call why are you home? I just got off the phone with your school, they said you left without telling anyone and I also had an interesting chat with Gloria's father."

"Mom not now."

"Embry Call listen here!"

I said not fucking now!"

Her mouth fell and her eyes misted. I had never used the F word against her. Never cussed at her in my life.

"Mom, I'm sorry, just, just...leave me alone, you will not believe the day I have had."

I went straight to my room, locked the door, shut all the blinds, and turned my iphone on putting on some heavy rock and roll music that fit my mood. The rest of the day and night I drew.

No one came for me, not even hours later. Until a loud banging came from my window, thinking it was Jake or someone from my pack I was disturbed to find Jaime. I opened my window.

"What the hell do you want?" I asked.

"Well hello to you to. By the by you look like dog shit." he glanced around my room and saw all the pictures of Sara I had painted in the last few hours. "Well I owe you one. There was a pool going on that I would be the next wolf to lose it, I betted fifty on you, you just made me one happy little wolf."

"What. Do. You. Want?" I growled.

"Just checking on you. Saw what happened to your painting. Too bad, I liked it. Also saw your confrontation with Gloria. Just so you know she didn't start the rumor, her friends did, she tried to stop them but they didn't listen. After you left she broke down in tears and got into it with her friends. They thought it was a good way to make you pay, she just wanted to forget it."

"Is that all?" I asked. Great now I feel bad for Gloria again.

"Well...I have the answer for you."

"What answer?"

"Why you are like this."

"What? Why?"

"Well Sam ordered me not to tell you."

"His alpha command doesn't work on you."

"Yes, but I did promise not to tell you and I may be a sociopath but I still have a moral code. I take promises and vows very seriously. Give me a moment I am trying to figure out how to tell you, maybe a hint. Okay, here goes. Some of your friends and the Cullen's know exactly what is wrong with you, but the charms of another have blinded you to the truth while you so desperately seek it."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"That's all your getting, figure it out."

He turned and began to walk away from the window. "Wait, why are you helping me?"

"Mmm. Because I don't think it is fair for you to be brainwashed, because I think they need to tell you the truth, because I think you should be allowed to chose and because Sam told me not to."

"Wait, I thought you were supposed to be under guard?" I asked.

He smiled. "Let's say some of Sam's wolves are more sympathetic with me."

With that chilling cryptic info he left and I let him. His words haunted me though. Did Jake and the Cullen's really know. The charms of another have blinded me? What the hell does that mean?

I closed my window and shut the curtains, and went back to work. Hours later and I had to turn on my lights so I could see. Picture after picture I drew. Each one showing her in a different mood. Happy, sad, angry, scared, nervous. Thousands of memories to chose from. Thousands of pictures I drew. Soon my floor was littered with her image.

Something was so wrong, I felt like something was going to tear me up inside. Like my own heart was fighting against me. My mind said nothing was wrong but my heart was screaming at me. I couldn't live like this, I felt like I had forgotten something so important. But what? It can't be Sara. I don't love her. So why do I obsess over her? She is ruining my life. Was this her doing? Did she do it to make sure I never found happiness without her? Were the others right in assuming her powers affected me? Did she even now the hell I was in because of her.

Then it happened. I felt...a presence. You know in those ghost movies people sense the ghost or spirit and look at it almost as if they can see it. Well that was what it was like with me. It was like some benevolent force was touching me, something familiar. My mind and my heart knew what it was. I could feel her deep in my heart. Moving. Hiding. Exploring.

"Sara?"

Then I doubled over. Everything my heart had been forced to hold back, all the pain, the heart ache, the loss, the sorrow, the love, the affection, the need. It came pouring out. If it was a spark it was like someone had tossed nitro on it. I clutched my chest, wave after wave hit me. "Embry!" mom was shouting and pounding on the door.

I don't blame her. I was making the most inhuman sounds. Tears poured from my eyes. It was so bad....i blacked out. When I came to I was on my couch. I smelled my friends and family. I could hear voices.

Then I smelled vampire. I got up. Jake, Quil, Paul, mom, Billy, Rachel. They were there. As was Sam and a few other wolves and Carlisle, Jasper and Edward. "Embry!" mom flew to my side. "Oh baby."

She hugged me and kissed me. "What happened?" Billy asked worry and concern filled his face.

"I know. I finally know what happened." I looked at Edward. His face was sad and he nodded. So it was true. Sometime during the pain and my awakening I had realized something. Jamie's words only helped confirm my suspicions and Edwards nod only sealed them.

Sara had used her power. She knew I would not allow her to go with Aro, not without a fight. So she used her power on me to try and make me forget, so I didn't do something stupid like start a fight and get myself killed. But something went wrong. I still loved her, my love still burned bright for her, but whatever she did left me incapable of feeling it. But it wa still there, burning so brightly.

So bright it began to push against whatever she put on me. That was why I obsessed over her and yet felt nothing for her. My heart was trying to tell me, scream the truth, but my mind ignored it. They all knew, because to tell me would risk her spell becoming undone and me doing something humongous stupid, like going to Italy and getting her back.

Which I had to. I remember feeling her inside me. Something chased her there. Something forced her to undo what she did. Sara was in trouble, I had to help her.

And no one was going to stop me....no one.




Fusedtwilight: What will happen now? Please review.