Why me?

Au, Everyone is human. I don't own Twilight saddly.
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My name is Isabella Swan, but you can call me Bella. It was the day I start my life over. That was the my first day at my new high school, in my new town, along with everything else that is new in my life.
I know it doesn't make much since but let me start from the beginning. It all began in Phoenix, Arizona. I can't say I was popular but I did have friends that did enjoy the lighter side of life. I spend most nights drunk or stoned, with no regard for my mother.
It was Late December of 2002. I was at a friend's house when my mom called and asked me to pick Jason up from his after school tutoring. Jason being my little brother. She couldn't tell I was high and I didn't want to tell her so I just agreed. I pulled up outside the school. I can still remember seeing his smiling face running to the car. I knew how much he loved this after school big brother tutoring thing, so I tried not to ruin it. He jabbered and jabbered for what seemed like ever. I can remember his words floating around my head and hanging in the air. I can remember hearing him say
'Bella, are you okay?'
Then my memory pretty much lapsed. After that everything was a blur. A beeping noise. My mother's angry but worried face. Sirens. Dust. A screeching sound.
I knew none of it was in any real order. Just thoughts, sounds, smells at random. Dancing in my mind, hurting my head and confusing me.
When I awoke I had no idea what had happened but I had that very very strange looming feeling as my mom stared at me from a chair across the room.
"Where am I?" I asked sitting up feeling my head. I realize I was bandaged up and hurting pretty badly.
"You're at the hospital." She said standing up and making her way to me. I could then see her eyes were swelled, puffy, and red like she'd be crying for quite some time. "We didn't think you were going to make it."
"Why? What happened?" I rubbed my eyes and felt something pressing into my nose. I tried to pull it out but she made a little yelping noise and I took that a sign to stop.
"You." She coughed on her words "You were in an accident."
She broke in to sobs. I felt a familiar rush and remembered Jason jabbering about the after school program.
"Jason." I said with an odd calm "W-where's Jason? How long has it been? What day it is?"
The questions flooded my mind, it felt like if I didn't get them out right away they might float away and disappear. Like I'd never know if I didn't ask at that very moment. My mind was reeling with these question to the point I didn't realize my mom was now holding herself up by the bed rails sobbing to the point it shook my bed.
"Mom, where's Jason?" I swallowed hard and closed my eyes know what her next words would be.
"He's gone!" She sobbed. Those words would haunt me forever. At that moment my step-dad, Jason's real father, came into the room with two cups of coffee. He looked at the chair seeing where mom had been sitting then to my bed. He looked dumbfounded at the sight of my alertness and my mother's complete instability. Or maybe it was my sobbing and near screaming. I didn't know I was screaming. Not until the nurses came in, holding me to the bed while a larger man pumped my IV full of something. I felt my body grow heavy and my sights grow dim. The last thing I saw was Phill cradling mom in his arms, both of them staring at me as the nurses sedated me.
When I woke up it was dark, but there was a streetlight on by my window. My mom in a chair next to my bed, laying over on the bed rail asleep. Phil in the chair across the room staring at me.
"It's good to see you're awake again." He said looking at me, I could feel his awkwardness "We were worried about you"
'You mean mom was worried. I can't image how you feel, knowing I killed your son.' I wanted to say it. I needed to say, but I bit my tongue.
"What day is it?" I said weakly instead.
"It's January 12th" He frowned. There was something on his mind, but I wasn't sure what.
"Oh god. I've been out for a month?"
"Yes. Like I said we've been starting to worry we'd loose you to."
"You don't mean that." I said warily. I felt warmth on my cheeks, when I reached up to feel my face I realized it was tears.
I knew what everyone was thinking but no one would say. I knew it was my fault that Jason was gone.
I stayed in the hospital for 2 more weeks, and mulled over my options. Attending the funeral was out of the question, as I'd long missed it. Going back to school wasn't an option either, as I would be known as the girl who killed her brother. Staying home was impossible, as mom had never taken down Jason's Christmas presents and it killed me to think I had robbed us all of the pleasure of seeing his face as he opened those new toys.
After 2 weeks of think I finally figured it out. I had to leave. I had to go stay with dad for awhile. I had to punish myself for what I had done.
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Okay so there is chapter one. I know this chapter is really tame. But things will heat up in chapters to come. Rate and Review? Please?